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My most unfortunate job selling LSD

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Below is the poem entitled My most unfortunate job selling LSD which was written by poet Sidney Hall Mad Poet. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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My most unfortunate job selling LSD

I’m excited, I got a job
I now work for Bob Bob’s Gob Shop
They asked me to stand outside and sell
These white packets, of what I cannot tell

But I was shifting the goods a hundred an hour
I felt alive excited and empowered
Mothers and fathers were buying off me
And giving their kids, who named the stuff LSD

I didn’t hear it clearly at first,
Until I was arrested and that’s when I feared the worst
The police took me to their van
 God only knows I tried to run and then… Man,

I got the tasered,
And did a twenty-five second bad imitation of Bob Marley crossed with Jo Fraser
They called me a dope peddler
An addict enforcing meddler

The cops tasered me again and beat me up
Then left me laying in a pile, yelping like a helpless pup
Then took me to a room with a table that had a pile of white powder,
And three inch black sticks they called hash, my mouth went sour.

They questioned me further demanding who was my supplier
As they kept me dancing at the end of the taser wire
I screamed Bob and Bob of the Gob Shop
They stopped and said this must be their under cover job 

Just then the chief of police walked in
He looked at me with that we gotcha grin
He took a bit of the white powder and put it on the tip of his tongue
Then with s surprised look as if he got stung

The chief of police quickly picked me up dusted me off and apologised
He said “Don’t worry sir, I’ll punish these guys”
One policemen said “But sir his a drug dealler, selling LSD?”
“How could you be willing to set him free”

The Chief shouted “YES THIS IS LSD, NOW READ MY LIPS”
“LIQUORICE SHERBET DIPS”

Well as a consolation, I got a house and a car out of them,
Never went back to that job again.

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  1. Date: 11/14/2011 8:15:00 PM
    you're a riot Hell....lovin it

  1. Date: 7/31/2011 10:10:00 PM
    Ohh daaayuuum xD BAHAHAHAHAH. Niiiiiiceeeee! This poem took a turn and completely surprised me, even got a laugh out of me. I really enjoyed this one. I'm adding this one to my favorites. Actually, I'm adding you as one of my favorite poets;) thankyou for this wonderful read. Take care. Dana'lynn

  1. Date: 6/26/2011 4:55:00 PM
    Just a hoot Sid, had a great laugh with this one. Hope he found another job. :)

  1. Date: 5/23/2011 7:45:00 AM
    lol you made my day again, now what am I gonna do, I am smiling so big this morning I won't be able to get my poem done. dang man!

  1. Date: 5/22/2011 5:35:00 PM
    But you were so successful at this job...why quit now?? Syd-clever and entertaining as always.... Liquorice sherbet dip!! Oh...brother....how funny! Gwendolen

  1. Date: 5/22/2011 12:36:00 PM
    Hilariouus ! I could nt stop myself ! ur very talented ..

  1. Date: 5/21/2011 5:46:00 PM
    As always veyr humrous with wit, Sydney

  1. Date: 5/21/2011 5:11:00 PM
    hahaha. True to Sid style. Thanks for sharing this gem, homeboy. You've got the gift. ^__^