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Job Change

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Below is the poem entitled Job Change which was written by poet Sidney Hall Mad Poet. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Job Change

You know, I thought changing one’s job would be easy,
To start a new vocation would be breezy.
I got me local newspaper, looking for a job as a sparky, (electrician)
But I said “what the F-ck, these ads were written by a sarky.”

The first job was an “Almond Knocker,”
Now this sounds as sleazy as sniffing used jockstraps in a locker.
Who wants to look for an almond the shape of a woman’s top half of her anatomy, 
But, looking at women’s breast to find one that looks like an almond, appeals to me.

The second job was a “Blind Hooker,”
Now what can I say, that’s a woman’s job and boy she’ll have to be a looker.
She would be the cheapest thrill you’d ever have 
You can imagine the police chasing her as she is lead by her all eye seeing sat nav.
Nope not for me…

Uuhh! Here’s one for me, “Bosom Presser”
Squeeeezing them breasts from the largest to the lesser.
I gave them a call straight away
Only to find out the job was not really that way
Dam!

The next one was, what the f-ck? a “Dike Stoneman”
Well I don’t think any man can
This must be a woman bouncer for a happy club ( I hope this is more politically 
correct than saying “Gay”)
The one you greet say “Hey Bud”

Well later I googled the titles and yes you right, I was wrong,
I suppose me old job will be lifelong
Overworked, under paid
Oversexed under laid

Here are a few more jobs I came across, an “Egg Smeller, Chicken Sexer, Pillow Girl
:-) , Butt maker, , Fire Drier (never heard of wet fire) and for all you animal lovers out 
there, Frog Shaker, Monkey Tail Puller and those who don’t change their underwear, 
a Skid Marker

 

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  1. Date: 5/23/2011 10:42:00 AM
    lol Sidney, you mentioned a few interesting positions here.. Where can I apply? Hehe once again enjoyed your witty write Mr. Hall!! Love from a rainy CT ;)

  1. Date: 5/21/2011 10:39:00 AM
    hello, Sidney, how are you my poet friend?? In good writing humor... I imagine... And about the job thing..lol.... only you would be so silly and true,,,, take care,..p.d.

  1. Date: 5/21/2011 3:18:00 AM
    I chuckled all the way through reading. Thank you for sharing this clever and witty write. Good to have you back, Sid. You were sorely missed. ^__^

  1. Date: 5/21/2011 12:21:00 AM
    ... * “HaHaHa * This Is The Most Hilarious Poem I Ever Read Dear Gifted Sydney * What Wonderful Sense of Humour & Talent * Crafted Perfectly In Spoken * Kind of As Stand-Up Comics Hitting All The Right Punch Lines * Beautiful My Friend * Sincerely Yours * Sarah” * Ps. “Ow * And I Completely Loved The Thought of 'Breast Presser' * Smile * Bye *

  1. Date: 5/21/2011 12:13:00 AM
    * “Hey Sydney * Once You Said In A Com Long Ago Now That * You Wanted More??? * Well * So Its Was & So It Shall Be. * Smile” * ... cont}

  1. Date: 5/20/2011 10:20:00 PM
    Sidney no one can match your wit or humor or the way u write and create such great poetry my friend.. super delight ...luv..

  1. Date: 5/20/2011 10:18:00 PM
    Ha! Screw political correctness, I say. "Oversexed under laid." Wella, wella, this explains a lot about you~! This poem was a riot to read.

  1. Date: 5/20/2011 7:30:00 PM
    Nice humour here.Enjoyed.

  1. Date: 5/20/2011 6:48:00 PM
    As always I enjoyed your funny, witty write Sydney