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Too Late to Say

I can smell the pies a baking
Upon the warmest summer day
Even with windows wide open
It’s a scent not gone away

She was there before the changing
Making food just like before
But once the afternoon had come
It was the bottle, wanted more

Now there were many of us still under
Yeah, under the roof she called her own
But, to this child who knew no better
This was my mom and too my home

Despite the angry, angry bottle
That turned her feelings dark and gray
I knew my mother forever loved me 
Though I wished my mom away

How sad I am today
That the bottle
Made me wish my mom away

Many years were cast upon us
I had grown into a family man
A hard working, white collar worker
Trying to do the very best I can

With my wife standing beside me
I have strength to look back and see
My misinterpreted emotions
And all my mother meant to me

She was here to see my children
She tried to make up for all she did
But all she had ever wanted, really
Was to be happy and to live

For she had so many children
I was the youngest of her ten
Yeah, I was my mother’s baby
But I never knew what it really meant

Until now that I’m a father
And sometimes things, they get so tough
It’s so easy to dive into a bottle
But, it’s love that makes one stop

She did that for my children
But, I never really saw her change
And never had the chance to tell her
All my feelings, cause it got too late

My mother left this world not long ago
She met my dad on Heaven’s floor
My only sadness is I never told her
That I couldn’t have loved her more

That I was thankful for all her loving
All the gifts she had given me
For her teachings of life in general
And my family’s history

I was grateful for her changing
But not the woman that she was
She was perfect in that way

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  1. Date: 5/23/2011 9:20:00 AM

    AN outstanding write on family, love , forgiveness and most of all finding the answers that helped you grow into the man you are. Thank you for sharing this heartfelt write with us. Love Phyl

  1. Date: 5/11/2011 7:17:00 AM

    lying to our doctors and sharing pills, myself and two other workers and my own boss...yup..the boss had a back issue but got hooked on perks..percacet, by 10 am in the morning the four us would be high and working..

  1. Date: 5/11/2011 7:15:00 AM

    I worked 12-15 hours about 6 days a week to sustain a drug addiction..then it gets really tough when your old boss and two employees had the same addiction, so we would swap pills in the office when the owner was not around..

  1. Date: 5/11/2011 7:14:00 AM

    lots of pills, pot, pill form morphine/ or downers...and lots of pot or hash...would do pills before work...I was addicted to hard core pain relief medications...some of them as expensive as 15 dollars a pill on the street, I worked two jobs to sustain it

  1. Date: 5/11/2011 7:13:00 AM

    i rely on the bible but will go to meetings if the power of the drugs hits hard..nothing shameful in doing that..keeps you clean, been clean since Jan 2006...five years this past January, and every day I have to wake up and say, today i will remain sober (from getting hight) i use to get high before work...

  1. Date: 5/11/2011 7:11:00 AM

    some of us still fight some sort of bottle, I am a recovering drug addict..always a recovering drug addict, when life gets rough satan still waves it in my face...for peace or release...to go back to it when times are tough..N/A helps...no shame in going to A/A meetings..or the meetings for family of drunks etc..

  1. Date: 5/11/2011 7:07:00 AM

    Beautiful! Well written. "It was the bottle" I went through such things. I wish I could be as forgiving as you.