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I'm Already Dead

who am i?
what am i? 
constantly torn between two decisions that technically reach the same conclusion.
never good but seeking my demise. no resolutions.
constantly running through the walls of this maze,
but like a demented rat I'm stuck.
I'm in a daze.
lost to all who claim they love me.
tortured by the simple fact
that though they truly seem sincere my thoughts are always that they're wack.
looking through the spyglass
but all around i see destruction.
nothing really good. 
and living is a minor interruption in the scheme of things. life really has no meaning.
i wish i could tell all those who wasted life for leasing.
you live, you die. are ostracised
the rest don't give a hoot...
the one thing they live for is to end up just like you.
and blindly we all stumble, we fall and then we're through.
we leave our children behind and they stumble too.
the pattern, the repetition, the life,
it never ends
we're just too blinded by our own problems to see the trends.
and life, and hope, and all that's good is only just a lie.
its as vain as believing that we'll all grow wings and fly.

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