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Out

Ruben O. Avatar Ruben O. - LIFETIME Premium Member Ruben O. - Premium MemberPremium Member Send Soup Mail Go to Poets Blog Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled Out which was written by poet Ruben O.. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Out

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                                           Inactive
                                          mInds,
                                              Inert
                                    machInes
                                    missIng
                                      gaIns

                                            Insane
                                           thInking
                                          agaInst
                                         thIngs
                                sustainIng
                                     nothIng

                                          coIns
                                               Inside
                                        fountaIn
                                         wishIng
                                             In
                                       VaIn

                                        rIng
                                    redefInes
                                             Inner
                                      feelIngs
                                      mInimum-
                                 wagIng
                                       dIne

                                          ThIn
                                            raIn
                                            draIns
                                           staIns,
                                       soakIng
                                    certaInty
                     
                                KnockIng...
                                  askIng...
                                  waitIng...
                                     agaIn
                                            In
                                             LIne






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  1. Date: 10/11/2010 9:21:00 PM

    Ruben, thank you for your input on Epitaphs! I like the long one too....but it seems too long for an epitaph, and I don't think Andrea will like that one, but it is the one I already have entered for now...."It's a sin!" :D~Chris

  1. Date: 9/29/2010 11:41:00 AM

    love this i love all of your amazing work

  1. Date: 9/26/2010 8:19:00 AM

    This poem is a blast Ruben ! And I'm not tit for tatting here Sir, but this is goin inta mine favz ! *smiles* james

  1. Date: 9/24/2010 5:49:00 PM

    Once I saw this poem, I just smiled---^_^-- deeply enjoyed how you presented this-- I find it very creative and it's so awesome how it does sort of look like a line as well-- and yup back in line again-- the story of life, lol! Enjoyed this one- and I am sooo happy that you are back to posting poems! Keep writing!! -- nikko :)

  1. Date: 9/24/2010 4:48:00 PM

    I need to pop over here to the ""Hot"" poems more often! Look who's poems keep popping up! It's Ruben, and yep...he is hot again!!! Sorry I missed this earlier...love this cleverness! :)

  1. Date: 9/24/2010 9:03:00 AM

    Enjoyed reading this write Rueben. Thank you for all your comments on my poems. God Bless Phyl

  1. Date: 9/23/2010 11:49:00 PM

    Rueben, I chickened out. You should understand what I am referring to. hahaha. Luv, Andrea

  1. Date: 9/23/2010 3:22:00 PM

    thanks ruben for being there at the lose of my angel. john

  1. Date: 9/23/2010 12:58:00 PM

    I love the minimum waging dine. .cos its not how you dine but with whom. .and that coin,i think i have it!deep . .tmfvs!

  1. Date: 9/23/2010 12:08:00 PM

    WHAT A CREATIVE CONTEST, RUBEN. GOOD LUCK*luv~SKAT

  1. Date: 9/23/2010 10:30:00 AM

    wow! Ruben this is me in and OUT ! Love this one. Now this one is fun as well. (good luck in the contest) Enjoyed your poem,..p.d.

  1. Date: 9/22/2010 9:42:00 PM

    Ha ha! OMG! "Pedazo" can mean....Oh boy! Har har! Oooops :D

  1. Date: 9/22/2010 9:24:00 PM

    An amazing line Ruben. Loved the end. Thanks a lot for your kind comments.

  1. Date: 9/22/2010 9:17:00 PM

    ~¡Ruben, este pedazo es ultra innovador-! Una qué entrada magnífica….¡cómo puede esto no estar en las colocaciones superiores! Sobre su Tanka que es 5/7/5/7/7….inscríbale sin embargo desean a mi amigo. ¿Usted piensa que los nuevos miembros piensan que soy un fascista con todos los comentarios? ¡Ha ha! ¡Oh calidad, espero no! Eso sería terrible. ¡Recuerdos en la competencia, con este poema del coolio!!~Christobal Bungholio

  1. Date: 9/22/2010 9:07:00 PM

    I agree with Gerard (Below) Innovative indeed, excellent form, awesome read. Harry

  1. Date: 9/22/2010 7:27:00 PM

    Innovative. You should submit this outside the Soup. You have something unique here. Thanks for your comment on Graveyard. I love doing those creatures and the macabre. I grew up with them on Creature Features and Chiller Theatre back in the 1960s Regards warmly, Gerard. Good luck, Premium Member!

  1. Date: 9/22/2010 5:20:00 PM

    enoyed reading today!

  1. Date: 9/22/2010 2:58:00 PM

    Enjoyed this write...Good luck in the contest with this very expressive work..I especially like the first three stanzas...I was gladden that you found my work worthy of your favs list..I enjoyed writing that one in two different ways both Tanka..Thanks again for stopping by and glad you are back..Sara

  1. Date: 9/22/2010 2:02:00 PM

    Smile ~ Amid my light-heartedness within the beginning of my coms; just Very Happy to see "You" again ~ And, I too hope that life is treating "You" perfectly my friend ~ "Much Love & Warmth Always to You & Yours," John! ~ Smile, "Have A Very Blessed & Beautiful Day 'Dear Gifted Ruben Ortellao,' Amid The Vibrantly Soft & Lovely Colours of, 'Autumns Beautiful Love;'" Bye "My Dear Friend!":) ~

  1. Date: 9/22/2010 1:54:00 PM

    Smile ~ ":P <3 What's Up :D ?" :) ~ Smile, I thought that this was "In?" And now, its "Out!" ~ Smile, maybe, "Its 'In & Out?'" ~ "Hello 'My Beautiful Friend, Dear Ruben!!!'" ~ Its sooo very wonderful to see "Your Gifted Brightness & 'Beautiful Heart' Again" &, I love this well written & expressed soulfully brushed colourful canvas of a poe &, "Yes," just having a tad of fun with "You 'My Beautiful Brother'" ~ ....Cont:)

  1. Date: 9/22/2010 8:31:00 AM

    So good to read your excellent work. again. Ruben! You were missed! Peace, Audrey

  1. Date: 9/22/2010 7:14:00 AM

    Great awesome write y en esa forma! Bien hecho, mi amigo, great write!...Gert

  1. Date: 9/22/2010 5:46:00 AM

    Very nice creative entry to the contest, Ruben. Good luck

  1. Date: 9/21/2010 8:42:00 PM

    rueben, I love the part about the wishing well, coins wishing in vain! And the way you ended waiting AGAIN in line. SEems we are always wating in lines. A very unique way to do the contest. Best of luck in it! Luv, Andrea ps I wrote you a spanish note so you can see how bad I am. I can't even think how to say all the things I want to express in Spanish and so I "talk around" and just think of an easy way to say things. I can't believe I majored in it!

  1. Date: 9/21/2010 8:35:00 PM

    Super cool write Ruben.. enjoyed your flow and know Paula will flip over this entry .. good luck my friend with luv... hey what happened to Raul? he entered one of my contests a few weeks ago ..now has disappeared from soup pot..luv.. missing him.. always miss u ..u hottie..man...

  1. Date: 9/21/2010 8:13:00 PM

    Way cool ! loved it...Take care~Deb

  1. Date: 9/21/2010 7:16:00 PM

    Very, very cool, Ruben!! I love the "one word per line" form you used and the layout looks like a wavy line. And each verse is filled with intriguing irony! Great poem, my friend. Wishing you success in Paula's contest. Love, Carolyn