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A trite and whimsical rhyme

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Below is the poem entitled A trite and whimsical rhyme which was written by poet Thvia Stein. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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A trite and whimsical rhyme

Will you whisk me
far away
from the only
life I've known?

Can we step
into the froth
and set sail
to a distant home?

Will we travel
light as gypsies
dancing jigs
to exotic tunes?

Can you teach
me foreign tongues
as the dawn breaks
into noon?

Will you love me
so completely
no other girl could
turn your head?

Can you promise
me fidelity
upon our
marriage bed?

Will you be my knight
and champion
and guard my heart
so true?

Can you love me
to eternity
if I say yes
to you?


***I beg forgiveness from everyone who reads this, I have nothing to say for myself
except it was kinda fun to write!

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  1. Date: 9/12/2010 5:14:00 PM
    niice poem! just very pure and simple!

  1. Date: 9/8/2010 6:25:00 PM
    Don't dare beg for forgiveness! This is wonderful. Truly. I'm not even sure what there is to say about it. You said it all. I'll definitely want to read this again. :)

  1. Date: 9/8/2010 9:51:00 AM
    No need to ... you sweet, sensitive, excellent poet. Gosh, Scotland will sing you when you are gone, and your words will linger in my head ... yes a favorite.

  1. Date: 9/8/2010 9:13:00 AM
    Oh gosh this reminds me of when my husband proposed to me...am smiling big time here...one little thing though...I would not use the word trite to title this piece in any way shape or form...just an observation...in poetry, Dory

  1. Date: 9/8/2010 6:34:00 AM
    Very interesting write, Thvia

  1. Date: 9/8/2010 3:46:00 AM
    Wow, such daunting questions you ask here, Thvia (I am curious how does one pronounce your name?) --but I guess that anybody who steps up to the plate is definitely well deserving! Thanks btw for your comments in my writes-- sure do appreciate it :) I sure can relate to brains being fuzzy ;) -- nikko :)