Submit Your Poems
Get Your Premium Membership


See and share Beautiful Nature Photos and amazing photos of interesting places

Quote of the Day

Quote Left"The harder you work, the luckier you get."Quote Right

by Gary Player

  |  Comment

Answering Message

Ruben O. Avatar Ruben O. - LIFETIME Premium Member Ruben O. - Premium MemberPremium Member Send Soup Mail Go to Poets Blog Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled Answering Message which was written by poet Ruben O.. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

Read Poems by Ruben O.

Best Ruben O. Poems

+ Fav Poet

Answering Message

.





                                               
                                                     long life battery      
                                                     two days later
                                                     still his voice




My second attempt to a short-short senryu. : )

Post Comments

Please Login to post a comment
  1. Date: 6/13/2010 8:19:00 AM
    this is very cool, Ruben!! very interesting short-short senryu--haha now I'm itching to try this short-short form ;) --nikko :)

  1. Date: 6/11/2010 10:58:00 PM
    Nice short one Ruben. Agape, Moses

  1. Date: 6/8/2010 10:00:00 PM
    How did I miss this? The 5,4,3 count is superb! Looks like you are still posting which is great! For some weird reason it 'felt' like you were pulling a Raul on us....Celene's comment below mine has an ominous message interwoven within the lines. Chris.

  1. Date: 6/5/2010 2:22:00 PM
    Thanks so much for all your lovely comments x

  1. Date: 6/5/2010 2:22:00 PM
    You write these short-short senryu and haiku so well. It's quite a talent to get the message across in so few syllables. I can imagine someone playing that message over and over, just to hear the voice of someone very dear. Excellent writing Ruben, love Sharon :)

  1. Date: 6/5/2010 11:12:00 AM
    energize me outstanding write and funny too cause Im finding out it pays to get em too keep that pen flowing

  1. Date: 6/5/2010 3:20:00 AM
    Never thought of an answering machine in a poem, nicely done Ruben >> James

  1. Date: 6/4/2010 10:06:00 PM
    s.m.

  1. Date: 6/4/2010 9:49:00 AM
    aha!! He must endure!!

  1. Date: 6/3/2010 12:49:00 PM
    This short short senryu transmits length in the message.Who is the persona hearing ?This reminds me of my biology teacher,She used to start and never stops. Her battery was rechargable,I can still hear the echo in my ears'When does a tortoise hybernate'?:) C elene

  1. Date: 6/3/2010 11:09:00 AM
    Alas the world of technology has taken over my friend... great write depicting our frustration with it all .. appreciate your elegant comments on my poetry today... with luv from the "Sweetheart"

  1. Date: 6/3/2010 10:46:00 AM
    We are living in a wonderful age where we can record our loved one's voices and keep them forever. Your poem has many meanings and I choose a happy one. Thank you Ruben for your kind words. Love, Joyce

  1. Date: 6/3/2010 10:29:00 AM
    Hey Guys and Gals, the paranormal is like a battery that holds all joy of events. The ones that are not, well who wants them anyway. Agape, Moses

  1. Date: 6/3/2010 9:18:00 AM
    Intriguing Senryu my friend.... Good work!!!!!....:JP]

  1. Date: 6/3/2010 3:48:00 AM
    If you leave a message what will that message be? What message will our lives' legacy be? Keep the creative pen flowing...Sorry about the extra lines on my Epicurean menu....We have started having food from the garden just wanted to share what can be available to those that have access to a small plot of earh...Keep the creative pen flowing..Sara

  1. Date: 6/3/2010 3:40:00 AM
    For months after my father died, I kept the message he left on my phone just an hour before his stroke. It made me feel he was still with me. Then I had to change phone service providers and lost his sweet voice forever. You brought it all back to me, my friend. Very moving senryu, Ruben. Love, Carolyn

  1. Date: 6/3/2010 12:33:00 AM
    Ruben, I think long life batteries live the majority of their life on the shelf, least it sure does seem that way - I take it this is a 5-4-3 takeoff of the original 5-7-5 Senryu? At any rate my friend it holds a very powerful truth, which seems to be more than long life batteries can do (Hold power) yf4l, God Bless, mj