I begin my backwards count from a hundred..... 100...
99....98....97........ 96.... TJ
my thoughts stray and I am lost in a daydream
in my ideal world..
in your station wagon.. saying TJ this is who I am and I am not the Anxiety Disorder
Your scent is all over my black lasenza bra
The last embrace on my porch, was bittersweet and agonizing
It's hard to to let you go... and when you go..
I sit on my staircase agitated, wondering whether using my brain rather than my heart
causes me to make the wrong choices
You are already gone, before I get the courage to face it.
The words are always on the tip of my tongue,
but exposing your weaknesses is never just simply done
You are highly dissapointed
your look of adoration has become replaced disdain and your own personal irratance.
I've all but built a four walled prison cell.
In the end he will find his long lost heroine.
He is a saint, that walks the earth unaware of it.
I will always be dissapointed in myself
To let this man I care for so much.... just go
Sometimes in life we need to want someone so much
That we have to put it all on the line,
realize the great distances we must make to improve ourselves
so that one day we can be good enough....
One day... again I could hope to be myself.