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the beautiful star in my night.(1)

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Below is the poem entitled the beautiful star in my night.(1) which was written by poet ayo okpaku. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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the beautiful star in my night.(1)

I saw d stars and moon
bow before your feet
Istooped and wonder 
right then my heart
begins to wonder
and then i maevel at your beauty
and the spectacular 
feature of your gaity
Your blue eyes
made me think i was in heaven
but when i saw the moon and stars above me 
then i knew i was right in my paven
your grandeur was glorious
my behaivour was unsteady
and right in your heart 
i knew you thought i was 'notorious'
you lookedgorgious in 
your beautiful attire
Iknew not what to say
and i couldn't retire
you walked close 
to me and for my name
Iwas suprised because you 
cared less about fame
I mumbled out Ga-bri-el
and you said yours was Mabel

                                                                        .....watch out for the concluding part.

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  1. Date: 4/13/2010 4:34:00 AM
    Interesting story with romance that drew me in and am looking forward to the conclusion..Keep the creative pen flowing...Sara

  1. Date: 4/9/2010 4:13:00 AM
    interesting poem--enjoyed