No matter where I look
No matter how hard I pray
No matter my urgency and its drive...
I cannot find a job...
I'm pained by the agony of suffering
for hope... faith beats me...
perseverance is growing winded
and despair is as familiar as a smile
And I continue on like this
as the seconds only bring me closer to more nothingness
and I sit in the chair of discouragement and rub my head for comfort
You see, I lie to myself and tell myself I'm happy and feel this lie
so I don't have to wade in depression of the truth of how low I am...
by poverty and its constraints... and its consumption of my entirety...
and I beg God for help...I beg you now again God I can't go
on like this much longer...
(the next day I got a job!!!! Ha!)