Submit Your Poems
Get Your Premium Membership
Quote of the Day

Quote Left"A contented mind is the greatest blessing a man can enjoy in this world."Quote Right

by Joseph Addison

  |  Comment

See and share Beautiful Nature Photos and amazing photos of interesting places

Jif is a Terrorist! Skippy was only a patsy!

Geoffery McHugh Avatar  Send Soup Mail  Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled Jif is a Terrorist! Skippy was only a patsy! which was written by poet Geoffery McHugh. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

Read Poems by Geoffery McHugh

Best Geoffery Mchugh Poems

+ Fav Poet

Jif is a Terrorist! Skippy was only a patsy!

-In 2008, a massive recall of peanuts thought to be contaminated with bacteria occured. Not 
very many people became ill, and only twenty percent of those that did were hospitalized. 
Only a handful died. It was a media frenzy.-

Did you know? 
Did You hear?

The tree nuts and peanuts have grown to sentience,
no longer willing to live beneath a primate jack-boot they have
armed themselves. They have
made a resolve.
Jihad!

Now they terror-bomb their opressors, strapping
ecoli and salmonella to their bodies and dying as heroes of the cause.

Now they strike their targets without discrimination, for
they are malicious little legumes, enemies 
of red blooded A-mericans everywhere.

Never doubt their skill or persistant nature, or you could be next!
Yes, you!
Struck dead in your own home by these dangerous fundamentalists who are
intolerant by their very nature. 

Now 
they align themselves with pistachios and raw eggs, and 
they plot their next series of attacks in their 
cupboard terror-den caves.

Periodically, they
release threatening videos to fox news, declaring an
allout war on the morbidly obese. I for one
am terrified.

And there's more. Their
Leader, "Mr. Peanut" is pure evil in a monocle, tophat
spats and a cane. He smiles with
malevolence at the running camcorder, where he vows to
destroy all the rotund infidels, and all who
violate his brothers in arms whom cower on supermarket shelves.

Post Comments

Please Login to post a comment
  1. Date: 9/30/2009 6:48:00 AM

    Very witty, Geoffrey! As if to think Jihad was behind the peanut contamination frenzy. I had a good laugh about Mr. Peanut being "pure evil." I wrote a similar satire on Swine Flu's media hype -- Pandemic Pandemonium. We're on the same page here! Very enjoyable write! Love, Carolyn

  1. Date: 9/30/2009 4:49:00 AM

    I'm really sorry Sara. You are right, of course, but the poem wasn't making light of anyone's death at all, from any cause. I was just poking fun at the way that the Media throws ridiculous stories out about how we're all going to die from peanuts or africanized honeybees or newly elected officials. Again, I apologize if I offended you, and thank you for your comments.

  1. Date: 9/30/2009 4:34:00 AM

    This is humorous but not to those who lost a love one from this. We never know what could be lerking in any food source. It is best to cook everything but some things can't be so there is always that chance. Keep writing. Sara

  1. Date: 9/30/2009 3:52:00 AM

    Ha Ha Geoff,looks like Jihad ain't that bad! Those peas,they're nuts,when they get in your guts.I'm still smiling,do keep writing. Regards, Prince