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My aunt's a shrink

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Below is the poem entitled My aunt's a shrink which was written by poet sajdah al-riyami. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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My aunt's a shrink

My aunt wanted me to write something espeacially for her,and as much as i like original's i 
prefer the second draft to this one:

Maybe she's 
cool
Maybe am a favourite neice
Of a shrink of love and peace

The cream
To my fruit
Exhausted samy
Cant have the kids on mute

Pasta sauce
"It's mint,not meat"
Shopping tour in rome
In her tiny shrunken feet

Ms.Riane
A dumbfounded shrink
And her neice
Who can't attend the sink

The shivering dutch trees
And a mashamba me
Will have in her heart
Her favourite aunty

(Mashamba:A swahelli word referring to someone who is not accustomed to something 
commenly known in the modern word)

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  1. Date: 8/4/2009 5:32:00 PM
    I like it. Beautiful tribute to your aunt, Sajdah! What did she say? Ruben.

  1. Date: 8/2/2009 3:41:00 AM
    Interesting writing about your Aunt. Sara

  1. Date: 7/31/2009 3:12:00 PM
    Really enjoyed reading that and also for the lesson. Got to read this again and again. Enjoy your day.

  1. Date: 7/30/2009 12:34:00 PM
    so different, nice to experience a different cultural perspective! Light & Love