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narrative 2005
i stood at the mirror
one sunday afternoon
all my pretty gone
i was sixty years too soon
i knew i could turn back
the clock a little
in image if i just tried
that is not why the
tears came
i looked deep into
my eyes looking for
the answer of why....
why i squandered my
life on a persons of
unsound character
i thought of two young
men in my family
that took a gun to
end it all
i thought of my best friend
who told me he
would kill himself
and he did
i tried to stop the
tears but
they came anyway
as i recalled a
old refrain
sometimes a woman
gotta cry
i took to my couch
sat staring at the wall
a old friend walked in
and said "what is
wrong with you?"
i told it all...
all the pain
of the past
of my children
of rejections that
struck me like a knife
he said the the old
pep her up. "you did
the best you could"
i knew i didn't. i was
selfish. i confessed my
sins as if he were a priest
as i sobbed relentlessly
i said this is not a pity party
this is the cold hard truth
served cold
he put his sunglasses
down and gathered me
in his arms in a hug
i soked his shoulder
i cried for all the times
i had never done much
i deserve this
the tiredness
the pain
i walked him to the door
he said you will be alright
i said i would never be alright
again and that is why i cried.
and then.....
my mama died.
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