She could never tell him, the closeness she would miss, his arsenic smile,
Or the way his voice shivered through her, because she knew he didn’t feel the same.
He had never been dishonest with her about what he wanted.
If she got hurt, if things went wrong she would only have herself to blame.
He decided to reward her for the extra care she had taken, pleasing him
He held her to his damp chest, listening to her gently breathing
And she kissed him over and over as he got dressed, his stomach, and his chest.
She pulled him against her tightly and let him go, the last time she watched him leaving.
He went home to her, someone he still loves, but he will never feel loved enough by her.
He knows it isn’t her fault, so he will always try to protect her from who he is.
She aches inside, but knows she is right. She longs to go to him again
But in the flesh she would never deny him, a hug, a touch, another kiss.
He feels inadequate, why won’t she answer his calls, why doesn’t she call him…
She has another now, but surely he doesn’t please her the way I do.
She embraces her choice, wondering why the right thing hurts so badly.
Over time it gets easier, she learns to enjoy loving with nothing to prove.
He never imagined someone getting rid of him first, without a word.
It is usually him that leaves others alone in his russet dust.
She was so afraid the entire time that one of their trysts would end in pain for all.
After she lost his baby, she feared the pain he might have been born into because of lust.
He never knew what made her so sure, what made her cut him off so fast.
I’m sure he immediately found someone new to once again fill that hole.
In the end, something that was supposed to be nothing, became everything for a while
And she will carry those special moments forever, in the most secret part of her soul.