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5-7-5 senryu's in 10 minutes

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Below is the poem entitled 5-7-5 senryu's in 10 minutes which was written by poet james faulkner. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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5-7-5 senryu's in 10 minutes

I swung at heaven
And now I write poetry
Such a loving God
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litttle time to pay
rent to the landlord's unknown
wont see me again
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funky basslines race
through a weird obsticale course
called the mind of james
--------------------------------------------
2 minutes to go 
a masterpiece wasn't wrote so
aint got no mojo
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  1. Date: 4/21/2009 1:38:00 PM

    Enjoyed this one. I think you've got that mojo going. Thanks for giving me a chance to chuckle and for your kind words on my poem. Keep on writing. Have a wonderful day! Karen

  1. Date: 4/15/2009 1:54:00 PM

    good job. jhl

  1. Date: 4/12/2009 3:12:00 AM

    Nice sequence James, you have the form down, great flow. Happy Easter to you and your family...Raul