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Watered Down

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Below is the poem entitled Watered Down which was written by poet Christie Moses. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Watered Down

.
           much like tulips 
       (they bloom and fade)
      I become as little shivers
lost on a tossed and trembled wind

      a catcher of tender stars
       these hands are small
        and much too fragile
    to hold on to their burden

          despite the struggle
my minds eye beholds a white light
buried beneath eyelids made of steel

a midnight gasping through dark shadows
           haunting this tired heart 
(much too shattered to withstand those black
                  orbs )

          like a wisp of smoke
                I came…..
               I blinked……
         and found I was gone

     in every sunrise blasting color
            in my southern sky
               I ride the sun

        yet….I exhaust so quickly
                by moon rise
                     I cry 
    tears of watered down rust red
             bleeding a lost aria
             in silent tormented  
            and tangled refrains
(moments of naked breakdown)

   canopies of bent double boughs
    weeping beneath a willow tree
(I shiver from this reckless stream)

        borrowed time taunts me
            a vicious scourge
        I weaken with every hour
      I gaze into a disfigured mirror
    into eyes too bruised to face me
my moments of tortured cognizance

        I find that going nowhere 
               is a long trip
               to walk alone….

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  1. Date: 8/18/2010 11:41:00 AM
    wonderful write....TAH

  1. Date: 4/2/2009 2:03:00 PM
    Miss Moses,...nice one,..really real! And congrats on the hottest list thingy,..Nice write! james

  1. Date: 3/26/2009 12:57:00 AM
    Good one! I find that going nowhere is a long trip to walk alone….,... Amazing line! Love this one.. -Amaan.

  1. Date: 3/25/2009 10:57:00 AM
    As always I enjoy your poems hope you are well, love Ann

  1. Date: 3/24/2009 7:06:00 PM
    I love the last line, truer words were never spoken.

  1. Date: 3/24/2009 10:59:00 AM
    Oh what a tortured, restless tune, like a lonely bacchanal....twisting, turning, changing color, a regular passion. Some great images and sounds here, Christie. You are something else. Love, daver

  1. Date: 3/24/2009 9:03:00 AM
    well done once again..... my favorite part is "tears of watered down rust red" great j.o.b!

  1. Date: 3/23/2009 9:44:00 PM
    Miss Christie....where do I start? Ok, first:This is ridiculously good...second:I feel these words like I wrote them myself. We can tear ourselves up when we really have a mind to do so. That sensitive balance teters to the dark side now and then...but I know you well enough to say--not for long!! Lastly, I have to tell you(as I always will) You are spectacularly talented and with a sliver of opportunity you could go from "nowhere" to anywhere you set your mind to. Lv-Me Lastly,

  1. Date: 3/23/2009 5:25:00 PM
    Hi Christie... a heartbreaking reminder for anyone who has been where you where, as you wrote this, so sad it brought a lump to my throat.... all I want to do right now is give you a long long long hug :) .... masterfully expressed as always................

  1. Date: 3/23/2009 2:23:00 PM
    Aww, that last verse is so well said and so true. I feel you deeply in this poem. Though we all have moments in time, when we feel our dreams are so out of reach, it weakens us for the moment, and renders us feeling so alone. An excellent poem, but hold on, have faith, for one day you will be writing of dreams come true, and beautiful, vibrant reflections of love and life. Love & hugs, Shar xoxo

  1. Date: 3/23/2009 1:18:00 PM
    This is full of such deep emotion and beautiful images. I loved every word this is such an amazing write you are talented Blessings, ~Michaela~

  1. Date: 3/23/2009 1:11:00 PM
    this is really great...really really. i wish i could pick out just one line or stanza, i cannot because i love them all. as usual i am in awe - Jason

  1. Date: 3/23/2009 1:07:00 PM
    Very deep insight in your lovely write! Wonderful imagery! Laura :)

  1. Date: 3/23/2009 12:38:00 PM
    "like a wisp of smoke I came….. I blinked…and found I was gone" awesome stanza, your talent is also amazing...Raul

  1. Date: 3/23/2009 11:32:00 AM
    canopies of bent double boughs weeping beneath a willow tree (I shiver from this reckless stream) Just a perfect picture painted with your words--

  1. Date: 3/23/2009 9:45:00 AM
    A catcher of tender stars..beautiful..The last stanza is so utterly true..wonderful work, as usual. Love, BG

  1. Date: 3/23/2009 9:23:00 AM
    Ps. And, this is a deeply profound, and wonderfully expressed and written write~filled with all of "Your Gifts & Sparklings"~Smile~"You Are Beautiful Dear Christie Moses~Beyond Any Words!!!!":):):)~

  1. Date: 3/23/2009 9:16:00 AM
    So, "From One 'Moonchild' To Another"~Take "That Tender Star of 'Your' Own Life~Smile~And Kiss It Into The Air of Light~Smile~Until It 'Forever' Soars!!!!":):)~"My Love Always To 'You & Your Precious Brianna,' Forevermore, John!!!!"~"Have A Very Beautiful Day~Beautiful Christie!!!!":):)~Smile....

  1. Date: 3/23/2009 9:10:00 AM
    ....I find that hope within the above verse quoted here~And it makes my own heart very happy to know and to see!!!!:):)~Smile~"For 'You Are' A Jewel Among Treasures~Shining Brighter & Brighter Everyday!!!!":):)~And I myself shall "Forever Love You~For 'The Beauty of Which You Are!!!!'":):)~me~Just another humble fan of "Yours!!!!":):)....cont....

  1. Date: 3/23/2009 9:03:00 AM
    ...."my minds eye beholds a white light buried beneath eyelids made of steel...."~Smile~I love this verse Christie!!!!:):)~Smile~Again, because it is "You!!!!":):)~I remember when I first met "You," and I began to see "The True Beauty of Your Precious Soul!!!!":):)~How all I ever wanted for "You," was "Your Priceless Hearts Happiness!!!!":):)....cont....

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