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Ataraxis

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Below is the poem entitled Ataraxis which was written by poet Alyssa Finley. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Ataraxis

Tonight,
cicadas and crickets
are singing for us
the trees dance and sway
with their wind partner
a red sun listens behind her
sunset curtain
as your smile reflects
the last rays of twilight-
Your breath 
brings the sweet summer breeze
to my neck
Your voice
like wind through
the grass
Your arms tangled with me
like winding roots
Your hand is a fortress
in mine-
And in this Eden,
the daisies and dandelions
blanket beneath you and I
A starless sheet
hangs over the world
but the fireflies around us
light our sky,
tonight.

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  1. Date: 3/19/2009 11:39:00 PM
    I enjoyed this work , the feelings within are beautifuly worded, good write,,,,Johnathon

  1. Date: 3/13/2009 1:25:00 AM
    Thanks everyone! i have revised it a bit though. i added a few new lines, and switched some vocabulary usage. hopefully it made it a little better!

  1. Date: 3/11/2009 10:50:00 AM
    This truly beautiful...our arms like winding roots. I imagery is perfect. -Jason

  1. Date: 3/11/2009 4:40:00 AM
    You create such vivid imagery. It is truly breathtaking and romantic making for a wonderful write. Michael

  1. Date: 3/10/2009 6:32:00 PM
    Alyssa this is a very beautifully written poem that just takes the reader on a very special journey into your heart - This would be a fitting answer to Deborah's contest - God Bless, MJ

  1. Date: 3/10/2009 5:41:00 PM
    Very sweet rich fragrant with imagery &!!! A great entry to the 5 element 5 senses contest!! Note at the bottom of the entry Senses Sound (crikets singing) Sight (night sky) Elements Wind (breeze) Fire (sun& people) Wood (trees& plants)