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The Monastary / Japanese Alps 2008

Debbie Guzzi Avatar Debbie Guzzi - LIFETIME Premium Member Debbie Guzzi - Premium MemberPremium Member Send Soup Mail Go to Poets Blog Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled The Monastary / Japanese Alps 2008 which was written by poet Debbie Guzzi. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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The Monastary / Japanese Alps 2008

Incense hung in the evening air
like the mist and the chains of prayer cranes.
Ferocious gilded guardian framed the gate
through the aged arched travelers trooped
Pilgrims all.

Monks diminutive in form,
draped in square clothes 
of sacred orange, bow.
Prayer hands copped over beating hearts.
Business begins.
The business of lodging and lodgers.

The entrance holds the footwear of the prayerful;
worn, unkempt, yet colorful.
Inside the shrine futons fly to ta tami floors.
Teapots boil whistling in the mist soaked wind.
Coins clink into altar boxes before smiling Buddha’s.
Courtyards filled with fall blossoms of crimson mums.
Persimmon colored koi swim in small prayer ponds.
The bustle of the small alpine city does not intrude,
nor follow the faithful as into the moss covered
cemetery with its red cedar groves; 
they walk.

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  1. Date: 1/19/2009 1:32:00 AM
    The sounds that you bring out in the alliteration of this poem a great, 'air'-'prayer', 'chains'-'cranes' work to give a feeling of serenity. I think that you paint the spiritual and material aspects (though I believe that the two are not necessarily separate domains) of a retreat very well. Using the human form of stanza two to give unity to both the poem creates a feeling of , apparently conflicting worlds at peace with each other. A skilled piece of writing and a beautiful portrait.

  1. Date: 1/17/2009 10:45:00 PM
    Nice work Deborah, a zenful write...Raul

  1. Date: 1/17/2009 3:30:00 PM
    Very vivid and colorful writing. Tangerine orange is kind of redundant. You also mention Persimmon orange later on. I think tangerine would suffice. :-)

  1. Date: 1/17/2009 1:57:00 PM
    That second verse is a killer. Orange bow is wonderful..teapots boil whistling in the mist soaked wind..great line and another poem filled with color and beauty.

  1. Date: 1/17/2009 11:35:00 AM
    Nice work...enjoyed it lotz****smile*** I like japanese and chinese history...so I really liked this one****....Maryam***