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Time in a Bottle

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Below is the poem entitled Time in a Bottle which was written by poet David Welch. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Time in a Bottle

As the seas carry my cargo and I to different shores I wait,
Waiting for someone to release me from my burden.
Days drift by listless in the ambience of light and dark returning,
The skies change from blue to a Smokey gray overhead.
Waves crash against me, water engulfs me, but I maintain integrity.
A myriad of hulls splash by, pushing me aside.
Why, my cargo is precious and weighs lightly?
Passengers slowly cling to me, barnacles and algae hide my glow.
Woe seeps into my gleam as I lay on my side,
If only a rest on a shore or on a deck to ease my ever weakening self.
Like a mother my burden is protected until birth, 
Though with the birth goes my death, like that of my brothers.
Fear creeps in that I might break under extreme elements.
The stars change and drift as I do in a sea of black, they too must be like me
Waiting for the chance to relieve our burdens.
The sands come closer and closer, sometimes scraping against my body.
One day I will be found, hands will grasp, and carry me home.

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  1. Date: 5/17/2010 12:00:00 PM
    tragic story, well written!! I enjoyed reading today.

  1. Date: 2/27/2009 12:57:00 AM
    Like this personification David.Rgds Brian & thanks for your welcome comments

  1. Date: 2/26/2009 10:07:00 AM
    David, the title caught my eye. (Loved the Jim Croce song.) This amazing work is filled with vivid images. Love the way you brought your message home in the last line! Thanks for sharing, Carolyn

  1. Date: 2/26/2009 8:16:00 AM
    Wow - this is super excellent Personification. Such a unique writing idea with brilliant imagery expressed so well. Nice work! And thanks so much for your thoughtful comment, it is much appreciated. Love, Shar

  1. Date: 2/26/2009 12:53:00 AM
    Nice work David.thanks for your always welcome comments .Rgds Brian

  1. Date: 2/25/2009 2:36:00 PM
    This is personification of the bottle, David. Very nice. Light & Love Debbie! Not sure ambience is the word you want there. Ambient light is a term but it means to fill in the areas not already lit by natural light? Perhaps "in the ambiguous light of deary days and oncoming night"? Light & Love Debbie