My mind is dark with the thoughts of doom
Shadows of death and miseries loom
I wish I could try and fight
The stench of death and darkness of night
Many thoughts bewilder my soul
My heart bleeds through a jagged hole
Why do I have to kill to live?
Why don’t I have happiness to give?
My heart screams for an explanation
My soul cries for salvation
Why is my hand smeared in blood?
Why is everyone around me dead?
I walk through the graveyard of people I killed
Was this the death that god willed
Why was I the harbinger of death?
Why was it me who laid them to rest?
I live a life that I rather not dare
My nights are an endless nightmare
Why can’t I be released from this living hell?
Why don’t I have someone to tell?
Will I ever escape? Will I ever be free?
Will I ever be pardoned? Will my life ever be merry?
All I ask my God is sanity
All I need from me is humanity
I have killed to live, I have lived to kill
Done acts I am not proud of
Will I ever have peace to gain?
Or will I need death to live again
Tell me lord; am I not your child?
Weren’t they too, because of me who died?
Was it my fault that I had a gun?
Why didn’t I have a place to run?
Questions in my mind abound
My dreams come back at night to hound
My only release I know is death
I hope it comes soon and me it gets
When death smiles at me with all its charms
I will lie with glee in its waiting arms
Then for sure my soul will be free
And those of the people murdered by me.