This is the tale of Whistling Jim and how he met his maiden fair.
By the shores of Richmond's river, by the shelves of sparkling water
In the shining super market, Meg Macauleey, Nimble Fingers
Nimbly checking out while dreaming, checking out the goods at Tesco
Drifting with the tide at Tesco, drifting through her day in wonder.
Young and strong is Jim the postman as he lugs the heavy post bags
As he lugs the bright red trolley as he rides his bright red bike.
Up the hillside rides our hero , even though his back is hurting.
Even though his arms are aching, even though he's feeling thirsty
Conscientious is our hero, for the post, it must get through
Outside the pub, there sits a maiden, Meg Macauley is her name
She's just taking a quick lunch break, in her hand's a pint of beer.
Jim is passing, feeling thirsty and he casts a look of longing
Such a searching look of longing at Megs languid fingers curling
Round the foaming glass of beer Meg Macauley, Languid Fingers
Toying with her glass of beer. Oh that foaming glass of bitter
If only he could taste that bitter. but Jim can only stand and stare.
Then Meg shyly gestures to him raising up the glass of bitter
"Fancy some then do you Postie?" Jim just can't believe his luck
Thirstily he drinks the bitter, thirstily he looks at Meg now
She is watching him still drinking, drinking deeply of the beer
"I had better get more bitter" Jim says to the maiden fair.
So he gets them both another and they both sip at them slowly
Smoothly both their glasses empty as their hearts fill up with love.
"Do you fancy going dancing?' boldly Jim ventures to say
"Are you asking?" Meg now blushes, then she quickly looks away
"I am asking" "Then I'm coming" and so their fate is sealed forever.
Jim has found his dancing partner, Always Dreaming, checkout girl
For their story's just beginning so we will leave our lovers here.
Out side the pub, up on the hillside sipping pints of foaming beer.
with humble apologies to Longfellow