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Once Was A King

Michael Jordan Avatar Michael Jordan - LIFETIME Premium Member Michael Jordan - Premium MemberPremium Member Send Soup Mail Go to Poets Blog Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled Once Was A King which was written by poet Michael Jordan. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Once Was A King

There once was Castle just over the hill
That belonged to a King with an iron will

Nestled safely behind his Castle wall
With an army to insure they wouldn’t fall

It was clear for the entire world to see
Destiny would record him in history

The richest King in all of the land
A beautiful Queen at his right hand

He ruled the land from shore to shore
Tell me, “Could any man ask for more”?

Turns out this King had just one vice
He was so great he forgot to be nice

Against any force he was bound to win
So the devil attacked him from with-in

Such a great King skilled with the sword
Much too great a King to turn to the Lord

Watched his entire Kingdom crumble away
Because he was to great to kneel and pray

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  1. Date: 10/14/2008 9:35:00 PM
    I enjoyed this very much. First of yours I read but wont be the last

  1. Date: 10/10/2008 8:59:00 AM
    You point (I think) very cleverly at us all. We so often forget that ALL we HAVE and ALL we ARE has come from HIM.

  1. Date: 10/8/2008 10:34:00 PM
    Very nice Couplet Mchael. By the way my new book has just been released. Here are the links: Early order “Poet Coet” through Target on-line: http://www.target.com/Poet-Coet-Ed/dp/0615242111 Preview “Poet Coet”at: http://www.lulu.com/content/3382293 I'd appreciate your spreading the word. Thanks. ED

  1. Date: 10/8/2008 9:42:00 AM
    AHHH! Much better. The message of this is so great! Thank you for writing!

  1. Date: 10/7/2008 11:00:00 AM
    I admire how it rhymes and how it's different :)

  1. Date: 10/3/2008 3:34:00 PM
    Breathtaking in the truth and the way you have written this. Spellbinding and a very good read. Very well done. Love Heidie

  1. Date: 10/3/2008 2:58:00 PM
    hi Michael, a king so great he forgot to be nice, a king too great to pray, Jesus Christ was also a King, The King Of Kings, the Greatest King to ever walk the face of the earth, and he was never to haughty, and proud to kneel down and pray to his heavenly father, he is the greates king of all, Michael know that your heavenly father looks down on you and says to the angels that is Michael and I am proud of him, this gives me the inspiration to be and do better, thanks for your comments D-nyce

  1. Date: 10/2/2008 9:52:00 AM
    I love a poet will to learn! This poem is strong, but you need to be aware of exact rhyme. walls rhymes with falls, not fall and the like. Also there are three kinds of 2 - two, too, and to. In your line Because he was to great to kneel and pray, I believe you want too great. I may be mistaken though. Thank God no one is perfect. I am proud to know all that you've overcome so that you can share your light! May God continue to bless you! I apologize if you find me too nick-pickity(sic)

  1. Date: 10/2/2008 7:14:00 AM
    There should be only one True King. With a little faith we'll all be part of His Kingdom someday. I liked this. Vince

  1. Date: 10/1/2008 8:18:00 PM
    Michael this was a well written piece of fine poetry. hopes everything goes ok, i had four front teeth pulled once, i have a parcel there now. sounds like you in for a big one, but you will be better once the pain wears off.

  1. Date: 10/1/2008 3:20:00 PM
    May you caslte forever stand proud on humble ground Michael~Tru~

  1. Date: 10/1/2008 1:06:00 PM
    Many will deny God's kingdom. He gave us everything we have and can take it away just as easily. God Bless Phyl

  1. Date: 10/1/2008 12:34:00 PM
    "Humble thyself in the sight of the Lord and HE will lift you up." Nice flow, very well said. God's richest blessings to you, Toni, and Michaela........Give them my love.......Janice

  1. Date: 10/1/2008 8:24:00 AM
    Best wishes, and good luck today with the oral surgery, Michael!!:) Will be thinking about that bright smile that you'll have when it's all behind you! It will shine all of Willows....they can save on P.G. & E. downtown!! Take care ~Carrie

  1. Date: 10/1/2008 7:27:00 AM
    Great story with a great lesson, I just loved this Michael. Blessings, ~Michaela~

  1. Date: 10/1/2008 7:06:00 AM
    What a lesson here, Michael! This powerful poem should be read by so many in our modern world. It doesn't just apply to kings and kingdoms...You painted the picture very clearly! ~ Have a good day...Neighbor! ~Carrie

  1. Date: 10/1/2008 7:01:00 AM
    This poem packs a hidden powerful punch. Some gramatical(sic) mistakes detract from your brilliance, but it is still a work of art.

  1. Date: 10/1/2008 5:16:00 AM
    Powerful message dear Michael, so well expressed. With love, Shar

  1. Date: 10/1/2008 3:52:00 AM
    Amen! That is how it works, one reeps what one sows - simple as that. you get back what you give, treat those how you wish to be treated...well said, Michael, love Kristin

  1. Date: 10/1/2008 2:45:00 AM
    Oh Michael, this poem says it all. He started out with so much to end up with so little, all because he didn't give thanks to the one that gave it to him to begin with.....Everything we have on this earth belongs to God, He is our Creator..so many people forget this...He can remove everything in the blink of an eye, Look at Wall Street......Always, Christy

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