It’s been a hard day at the office, but thank God it’s over now,
I’ve punched the clock and dragged myself toward me car somehow,
Those twenty minute smoko’s; and hour lunch breaks take their toll,
Between pushing pens when sitting down in what’s me working role.
Then so it becomes my daily task to walk up to me door,
And grab a beer from in the fridge and put me feet up off the floor,
Then watch the telly till its time to ring the dinner bell,
Eating with the wife and children, then enjoy another spell.
Now that’s my daily routine, which became my weekly rite,
But turning down my drive today, I caught an unfamiliar sight,
The kids are still in their pyjamas and they’re playing in the mud,
Somehow they’ve turned a tap on and the front lawn is in flood.
They’ve got stuck into the lollies leaving papers strewn around,
Our dog is wandering in the street, then the remote I duly found,
And the doors upon the wife’s car, have all been opened wide,
But none of this can quite compare to what I found inside.
The lamp was lying on its side, and the globe inside had broke.
The carpets wet and getting stained, from an upturned can of coke,
And the telly’s on a cartoon channel with the volume peaking out,
There’s every toy we’ve ever bought and clothes all spread about.
The kitchen’s full of dirty dishes, breakfast food and milk are spilt,
The fridge door is wide open, the toasters on a wobbly tilt,
There’s dog food in me coffee mug, on the hot plate there’s a brick,
I wondered what had happened to the wife…she must be feeling sick.
So I walked toward our bedroom, which is further down the hall,
And turned me nose up at the vegemite that’s scraped along a wall,
The toilet roll has been unraveled and the toothpaste has been spread,
Across the mirror in the bathroom, that lipstick has painted red.
But when I finally made our bedroom I rushed in to take a look,
And there’s me wife curled up in bed and reading from a book,
She looked at me and gave a smile, with not a thing to say,
So in a state that mystified, I said, “What happened here today?”
She just shrugged and turned a page and answered me this way,
“You know when you come home from work and ask me every day,
What have I done, and your reply, is plain sarcastic wit,
So to show you what I do all day… today I didn’t do it”.