Short Gout Poems

If you have some gout
Read about what gout's about
Pee in a South Wind....

Read More

Shout About Gout

we started to shout
what all of this was about
we heard had been gout

Jim Horn...

Read More

river that is now river
who would say ?
One day it was gout,
  the other day it was wire,
who would say that one day
would it be such a big river...!?...

Read More

I worked for a cranky old boss
who came to work always quite cross.
Finally found out,
he developed gout,
when stocks took a capital loss. 

Copyright © 2011 By Caryl S. Muzzey...

Read More

Every night, my dreams are such a delight
Dream of swarms of ladies begging for a bite
Must ration myself out
Because of my gout
It hampers me but my passions still ignite...

Read More

Every night, my dreams are such a delight
Dream of swarms of ladies begging for a bite
Must ration myself out
Because of my gout
Hampers me but passions still damn well ignite...

Read More

There was a young lady named Rose,
who developed a run in her hose.
When her big toe stuck out;
she got zapped with the gout: 
Now what Rosie does best, 
is to limp all about....

Read More

GOUT
Miracle Man
4/22/2024

Once, prescribed Med’s Tom had ran without,
The ensuing pain caused him to near shout,
Driving him insane,
Was endless foot pain,
Brought on by a painful condition called Gout.




...

Read More

Limerick : Once a lazy Lout without any clout		

Once a lazy Lout without any clout
Entered politics though hampered by gout
Party voted him Chief
Being good at misChief
Now UN wants him for what ? Ne’er a doubt !

© T. Wignesan – Paris, 2013...

Read More

Limerick : Once Gout which got a Lady in disease

Once Gout which got Lady in disease
Which meant she couldn’t hop ‘bout with ease
In doubt came together
With Louts feeling Super(ior)
To keep Gadabouts (from) eating Chinese.

© T. Wignesan – Paris,  2013...

Read More

CHASTUSHKA – two

Hopak is a Russian dance
But it is too fast for me
No!    I prefer the six-pack
And a damsel on my knee

Please    dear Lulu    marry me
I am your slave    on my knees
I love you so    want to shout
Not for love    but for the gout...

Read More

I've seen the cool moves of Surfing Annie
Her ironing board rides are so uncanny!
When she has a wipeout
She blames it on her gout
I'm proud of Annie 'cause she's my Granny


July 15, 2022
Limerick Poetry Contest
Sponsored by Lisa YY
Photo supplied by Pinterest...

Read More

If there was a fountain 
that would cure all, 
but to someone else 
my illness would fall, 
knowing full well, 
under God’s eye, 
I would plunge my foot in 
and shout at the sky, 
“what eternal damnation 
greater can be?
And besides, I’m sure someone 
used this fountain on me.”...

Read More

When I let one loose in the elevator 
I felt like a fart battling, a mitigator  
he said, "you couldn't hold it until later?" 
I said, "it just ran away, what a traitor!"  

when I got to my desk, I fanned it out  
while all the workers changed their rout    
I cried " son of a gun I got bum gout!" 
and suddenly, they all began to shout.


July 31, 2021...

Read More

Eyes of stark stiff doubt
Of The Win to clinch 
After his Third Bout
No victorious inch
His rival quite out
To him reach and pinch!

Lips free with a pout
From pains of a gout:
A loss to a lout
Would Happiness rout …

What rules now to flout
For he can’t be out?
This idiot to rout!

Cheating for ‘A Lamp’
To see to being Champ
Not this Guy from Swamp
With Armpits The Damp....

Read More

DOCTOR’S DILEMMA

A doctor who practiced in Maine,
Began to experience pain.
Called himself out,
Diagnosed gout,
Exhaustion and muscular strain.

For doctors it doesn’t look neat,
Getting worse than patients they treat.
He couldn’t wait,
In such a state.
Just retired, his life’s work complete

10 January 20129
Limerick II poetry competition
Sponsor Joseph May...

Read More

Flowers wilt, there is no breeze
   Leaves droop, they're not pleased
Grass turns a sickly brown
   There's a heat wave in town

Faces are taut
   Greetings, coerced
Skin's pasty white
   Every movement, coerced

Dogs pant on the pavement
   Tongues hanging out
Your arthritis is worse
   And so is your gout

Feel like ending it all?
   ~ Here comes a cold front
         A Taste of Fall!...

Read More

He was a Mean Scout,
This showing with a pout, 
His Upper Lip and The Lower out:
Just finer than a pig’s snout!

He was a Coarse Scout,
Readiness showing for a bout, 
With knees at the mercy of gout;
An eagerness to a rival rout!

But should a well-groomed scout 
The slogans of The Rash tout;
An integrity leave in doubt;
Shoulders rub with a lout…

Sacrosanct rules of scout
Flippantly flout?...

Read More

My sympathies are with anyone who suffers from gout.
It is painful and disheartening without a doubt.
It happens when levels of uric acid increase.
Inflammatory arthritic pain in the joints never cease.
A long list of different drugs are taken every day.
Anyone hopes the medications draw the pain away.
Such a condition can put anyone on the shelf.
I know, because I suffer from it myself.
...

Read More

Feeling Rough

Sore throat, runny nose,
Could be a cold I suppose,
Or could it be influenza?
I think I need a detox cleanser

Turmeric, folic acid, gingko leaf
I'm feeling rough beyond belief
High B.P. and heart attack
Been called a hypochondriac

Gout in toe, earache
I never know what to take
Rheumatism in both knees
That Ibuprofen gel seems to ease

All my ailments could fill a page
My greatest one is called old-age...

Read More

Fickle fancy floods face
Gain glimpses grandeur's grace


Leaping laughter looms loud
Grapple grand glory's gout


Tipsy troubles turn trite
Wallow's wasteland works write


Deadly drizzle droops dance
Crisp crazy cocoons chance


Dizzy decay drifts deep
Sight sneaky savvy sleep


Feel falling fleeting fun
Pique plunging petty pun


Nimble nice nasty nape
Rich rancid ripples rape




Leon Enriquez
09 September 2017
Singapore...

Read More

Unwelcome Guests
(Arthritis, Bursitis, Tendonitis, Gout) 
Miracle Man
10-11-2023

The “rItis” boys came to visit,
and their welcome overstayed.
My futile efforts to evict them,
they always downplayed.
Arth, Burs, and Tendon,
that very unpleasant three.
Were always reluctant to leave,
before the ravaging of me.
For pain I gave each points,
on occasion they brought a shout.
They all attacked my joints,
but none compared to Gout.
...

Read More

Here's the haughty elephant,
Won't eat food that's wrapped in cellophant.*
A catered meal is okay,
Like alfalfa or hay,
But most everything else is irrelevant.
The best of them try to abstain
From spirits like rum or champagne,
Which won't give them rabies,
But might lead to babies
Or ailments like gout and colitis.
Or, with this admonition,
A rare skin condition,
Some vets have called pachydermatitis.

*Thank you, Cowardly Lion, from "The Wizard of Oz"...

Read More

We should stop eating all of these fattening foods.
Turkey, mashed potatoes and gravy at the ready.
But yet, it is Thanksgiving week and they put us in good moods.
You start the potatoes, I‘ll warm the potatoes, I tell Freddy.

We used to buy vegetables, but they always got thrown out.
We are both contenders for serious conditions including gout.
But we like our red meat, our liquor, our taters and our sweets.
We definitely cannot give up bacon, ham, or t-bone beefs....

Read More

(This is a fictional poem)

All I want is something good to eat.
But all you ever serve are pigs feet.
I can't stand how they taste.
You'd better get them out of my face.
Those damn pigs feet gave me the gout.
If you serve them again, I'll throw you out.
You served them yesterday and you got very mad.
They made me sick and I puked on your mom and dad.
Your parents swore never to come to our house again.
I'm free of your pigs feet and your parents so I guess I win....

Read More