How the Bard became a poet , blog post from many years ago - Susan Manley's Blog

I joined the pioneers of online in 1982, running around in cyberspace through dial up bulletin boards and 12 to 40 person chat rooms. The interesting part about cyberspace is it was very word of mouth and we found out about each new place from friends at the last.

My first computer was the C64 with its 40 characters of screen space across, and a wonderful amber screen monitor. Later I would upgrade to color!

While noodling around in cyberspace friends recommended a new dialup system starting close by, called "the matchmaker."

The matchmaker system was computer dating. You actually created a profile of questions and matched yourself to potential mates via the answers. It was a new concept and fairly well thought out and executed.

I eagerly explored all parts of the system and found eventually an interesting button called "chat with the matchmaker."

Well... I am a curious gal.. and so I hit that button.

And that's how I met Richard.

I don't recall if we went out that very day, but it was soon after. You see Richard was part of the founding team that had set up matchmaker. My curiosity about the system and my enthusiastic feedback on the interface and input into the profile questionnaire intrigued the heck out of him. And well Richard just had to meet me.

So we went to lunch, yacked until dinner and then ate that too.

Richard and I have been friends ever since. He recently contacted me after a 10 year absence in my life. I was overjoyed.

Now Richard is a wild mage when its comes to poetry. He's also to be frank so highly intelligent he can blow most people away on many topics. He told me his IQ tested out at 160 and its easy to believe and see. He speaks 3 languages and holds a degree in engineering. He has successfully pioneered his own business and held a full time job as well.

Back to what does a wild mage mean? Richard can recite you a rhymed poem from the top of his head on any subject you choose. He blasts them out on the fly. When he first did this in front of me, I was actually in jaw dropping awe.

I have never met anyone that could do this before. I haven't met anyone that can do it since!
Then again I don't go looking for poets. It used to be that poetry was to painful for me to read. It had the quality of nails on chalkboard for me. Other peoples feelings were to much, I could barely recognize some of my own.

This is a huge sign of abuse incidentally, not being able to respond to emotional content.
I never "thought" about it prior to being in therapy and actually reading up on the subject.

Richard's ability to drop into rhyme and blast away intrigued me and I just had to know how he did it. So I asked him, and he told me.

Practice, practice practice. Just write, every day. A little, a lot, on whatever subject. Write and make it yours.

This stumped me a bit, but the truth be known I was enamored with Richard so I took a stab at it. I wrote what I now label as an "I" statement. Funky thing.... it was actually a bit of therapy for me. I wrote out "who "I" am".

********************Poem Time******************

I am an artist
I draw and paint
and watch the world go by

I am a romantic
I love and laugh
and give all till I die

I am a person
I live and breath
and fight for justice for us all

I am me
I think and feel
and follow life at my own call

Who am I? Artimus 1982

Now in therapy, this is a powerful tool. I wouldn't know that until a good 20 years later.
Incidentally this poem, and all of the others I wrote during that time? They had no names. I didn't "know" what they meant. Now you can think that's funny, or really odd or whatever you want. But in reality? I was so disconnected from what I felt about anything that I didn't know what to make of what I wrote.

Poetry would be my connection to how I felt. It would also become an outlet.

I had learned to disregard how I felt about anything as a coping device to deal with the realties of my life growing up. Read "How to make an Artimus" So how do you create an "Artimus" and you may see some of the reasons. Life was about "doing" not feeling. 

Back to poetry.....

Richard applauded my simple poem and urged me further. We talked many times and even though we didn't date for long our friendship sustained the test of time. I even attended his marriage some 8 years later. We can still drop into easy comfortable talk and just enjoy the heck out of each other.

I shared poetry with Richard, and later on a very small scale with a few friends. Most of the friends were not interested at all, and so, I put it aside for a very long time.

I pulled out and worked on poems a few more times over the years. When I had big upheaval in my life. When change was imminent, it helped me become clear.

In 2001, when I decided to leave my marriage, and made friends with my then boss... I shared poetry with him. He was going through a hard decision making process and a divorce and I tried to show him my coping mechanism. He was astounded. We shared writing back and forth and it brought us close. We were never lovers, but we were good friends and shared thoughts and emotional things on a deep level.

******************poem time*******************

A requiem for an artist
was painted on a mans mind

This artist attempted to change the world
to heal it from inside

The man took the brunt
of all of her messages of hope

She sent them ostensibly to him
to help him cope

But really what the artist wanted
was just to be heard

To not be a blank portrait
Overlooked, unheard

The artist tried to heal the world
to heal her own pain

To push back the dark
hold on to love, to resist being insane

The man reflected he understood
He showed that he heard that she cared

The man was going through personal growth
so some of the exchange scared

The man now has the knowledge
that the world is his to create

The artist knows the two met
as if an act of fate

Perhaps the world will heal

Perhaps it will continue on

Perhaps the man and the artist are more closely drawn

A man received the insightful rantings of an artist who paints the world.

And because of this, another artist exists.

Requiem for an Artist - Artimus 2001

Somewhere in the exchange with this friend... the poetry just started to "flow" from me. It would come out in perfect rhyme complete thoughts with no editing. As if my subconscience self had just spouted. I had gotten into true right brain flow. It is really powerful incidentally. I wrote "Path of contemplation" and "Trust" in such a state. Trust was written in live chat with DrDave. I think I blew a fuse in his brain. LOL

Now I don't think my poetry is the bees knees for artistic achievement. But I have been told by many an admirer that what I say, and the way I say it connects very deeply for them. It has great meaning. I honestly didn't know if what I said was "any good."

So how do you write poetry? Just do it... Eventually you will get to the meat of the subject, I assure you. And when you do, you might find your inner thoughts and feelings waiting there to be discovered.

OH! one last thing.... The requiem was about the sale and death of a company.... I wanted to put that into some context for anyone that took it to literally.

Context is another topic for the blog though... something I need to think about.

( written for Gemi and Sally )

- Artimus

NOTE This blog post is a copy of a post I wrote anonymously years ago on another service. How do you create an Artimus is the outline for my upcoming book of which the first chapter is posted up here under Short Stories. I may or may not post more chapters. I am working away on that.