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and post notes and photos about your poem like Susan Manley.
I know that all sounds very strange for people who have normal access to how they feel about any particular thing going on in their lives real time. For you its like swimming.
For people with complex post traumatic syndrome especially when it happened in childhood, you learn to ignore all of the feelings inside you because you dare not react to any of them. They will bring you further trauma. And in some cases the nuances between emotion become even harder to tease out.
Of course for combat veterans its similar. They can't process their feelings while the action is "going on". It can get them killed. But bottle it up and years later it can be like an atom bomb inside.
We are all processing machines. Taking in experiences with all of our analytics and making sense of our world through them. And most people never actually rationally think through these things, because they just live instinctually. Bravo.