Parents Struggle - Michael Degenhardt's Blog

<P>Hi everyone, I want to&nbsp;say I had a not so great weekend. My 15 year old had to go to the hospital because he had gotten hurt near a train tracks as a result of drinking liquor. Let me tell you that this really came as a surprise to me and the wife as we would not have suspected it. He told us that it's the stress in school and at home, that he's really depressed. Talk about a blow to the parental ego! I'm having a rough time with this because now we have to make arrangements for him to meet with the school counselor and I am seeking out professional help for him as well.</P> <P>I sat wondering all Saturday night, what could I have done better? What could my wife have done better? I came to the conclusion that we coudln't have done any more. It comes down to choices and where we feel we are in life. It didn't make me feel any better coming to that but now I'm not wasting time lamenting on our parental qualities and being able to focus on the needs of the kids more.</P> <P>I'm letting you all know this in case I am not on that often. I will be devoting a lot more time to the family, as much as possible. Especially through his punishment, my wife and I can't leave him alone in the house for fear of his doing this again.</P> <P>Please keep us in your thoughts as we work through these trials of parenthood and trials of teenagers. ~ Michael</P>

Lena Townsend Date: 2/26/2009 1:38:00 PM I am so sorry that you and your family must suffer this. I wish you and yours the best. I myself am a parent of two teenage boys and they always seem to get into something. I feel that you are doing the best you can possibly do by standing firm with the punishment and being there to help him through this troubled time. The next best thing is therapy and you are on it. I am glad to be able to say there are a lot of great services out there for both your son and your family to help you through these teenage years. Many blessings, keep your chin up! Smiles from Lolita Login to Reply

Date: 2/23/2009 4:09:00 PM Michael, With all the pressures kids are under these days, depression is quite common. Life is so fast paced, it is tough enough for adults to handle let alone teens that are also going through self image changes and peer pressure. You are there for him. Many, many parents go through this type of thing. May God see you through this tough time. My thoughts and prayers go with you. Karen Login to Reply

Danielle White Date: 2/22/2009 3:53:00 AM Praying for you. Maybe you caught it early enough. I didn't , and now my almost 30 year old daughter still drinks and will do any drug she can get her hands on. I refuse to enable her; at this point, what else can I do? *****Danielle******* Login to Reply

Constance La France Date: 2/19/2009 3:40:00 PM Mike..its not easy for kids in this generation, so much out there to get them in trouble, I hope your son gets help, I will miss your comments, always uplifting and inspiring, I often look at my niece, 11 years old, so grown up and mature, wanting to pierce her belly button... and I think back at myself, at that age still playing with Barbie dolls..its just not the same out there, so easy for kids to take the wrong path, but your son is lucky, he has you and your wife, who obviously love him very much... god bless Login to Reply

Michael Degenhardt Date: 2/19/2009 8:57:00 AM Thank you all for your concern. All of your reponses prove that family isn't only blood, but the people who just care, the many around here and the world. Blessings to you all, but we will get through this, just something so new for me and the wife to deal with and didn't think we'd have to with a kid at fifteen, butthe world keeps changing so I guess so do we have to. ~ Michael Login to Reply

Katherine Stella Date: 2/19/2009 8:40:00 AM oh mike so sorry to hear go to the doctor and get him thos pills that will make him so sick if he drinks he will never want to drink again my thoughts and prayers are with you all at this time may god make him wake up Login to Reply

Donna Golden Date: 2/18/2009 1:10:00 PM Michael, my heart and my prayers go out to you and your family. As a mother of three teenagers and one 12 year old (wannabe teenager), I understand how difficult it is, and how we can second guess ourselves. You are doing what you know you need to do, and I commend you for asking for help when you need it. Sometimes keeping him away from certain "friends" and making sure he has positive peer influences makes a big difference. The depression is something that really needs attention more than anything, though. I'll specifically pray for wisdom on your part. Blessings, Donna Login to Reply

Barbara Gorelick Date: 2/18/2009 9:06:00 AM Darn, darn, darn..So sorry about this rough patch your going through. My only advice would be to get him some professional ASAP. The hard part is finding the right fit for your boy. Dont be afraid to change therapists if it doesnt seems to a fit. Good luck my dear..hopefully this be an "event" and you can get through it and move on. Love, BG Login to Reply

Debbie Guzzi Date: 2/18/2009 7:20:00 AM Mike, I have a son. He didn't have terrible 2, or 4, or 8 he had terrible 14. Even as an honor student we still had 3 trips to the police dept. that years uh huh! You can't change the past so you are wise to focus on the future. I would say positive attention always gets the best results in the long run. Ask him to think about what he would do if he was the father, usually they're harsher on themselves. For my sons 2 weeks detention I took off work and home schooled him 8am to 4pm. After the first week, school called did he want IN SCHOOL detention..oh yeah he ran back to school real fast. "Anything except my Mom as task master!!!" LOL all the luck in the world! Debbie Login to Reply

Carrie Richards Date: 2/18/2009 6:32:00 AM Thoughts and prayers go to your family Michael, I hope this turns out to simply be a rough patch, that will resolve with time. Don't beat yourself up...these days, parenting is so much harder than when mine were l5. I see the things facing my grandchildren, the pressures are so much more than when I raised my own...my hats off to parents today who do their best. Sometimes, even that isn't enough. Best wishes and God Bless. ~love, Carrie Login to Reply

Christopher Higgins Date: 2/18/2009 5:46:00 AM I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers Michael. This is a hard time for you and your family but the light at the end will be comforting. Login to Reply

Vince Suzadail Jr. Date: 2/18/2009 5:44:00 AM My prayers go out to you and your family. I have four kids. My second is back home at 37 years old after losing his house, his wife, his car, his job and anything he ever had through drinking and gambling. He shows no motivation to change. Best bet is to keep the lines of communication open, but the final choices are his. My sons alcohol problems started about 12. He's blamed everyone except himself and has an excuse or just lies when you try to talk about it. Parents do the best they can. The final choice is up to him. God Bless. You both must be excellent parents or you wouldn't be worried enough to put it in this blog. We do what we can and we can't be there 24/7. Vince Login to Reply