Outhouse Poems

Memory of Outhouse in Winter

Old fashioned outhouse
You can clean it
Or repaint the door
But you can never get rid of the stench
People who have never used one
In the middle of the night
In the freezing cold of winter
With chattering teeth
Have no idea

Terrified of the Outhouse

Sammy was terrified of the outhouse.
He had been scared of it since he was four.
Since the day his mother disappeared.

Why can’t we get indoor plumbing? He asked Daddy.
Daddy did not want a bunch of strangers on the property.
He did not want anyone poking into “our business”.

Sammy had horrifying dreams about the outhouse.
It did not make

Virgin At the Outhouse Door

JANUARY VIRGIN AT THE OUTHOUSE DOOR
Not much of light, the cold had settled in,
and made for her, sweet Laura of the farm,
the quick of flight, down path direct and thin,
and well known, for relief of her alarm.

As farmer's daughters, she could be the tale
of trav'ling salesmen, if one came around,
but all her heat, her passion,

The Dunny Brush

THE DUNNY BRUSH
It has been here since modern sewerage was begun
and each water closet usually has at least one.
But to get a participant to use it, can really be a chore.
Most folk will use the paper but sadly for some, the Dunny brush ignore.
We have warned, scolded and abused them about their stain,
To grab the

A Traditional Housewife

The  woman married at a young age
to the eldest son of a farmer-
my maternal uncle and neighbor.

Usually, she woke up early at the crow's caw
and swept the dirt floor of the house with a broom
often wiping it with water and a nura ( wet cloth )
After that she took a bath, changed her clothes
and

From Eden To the Outhouse

From Eden to the outhouse 
in just a few thousand years
blooming weapons of mass extinction
from the seeds of our many gifts..
A volley of nuclear warheads is coming
within a generation or so
the wealthy and powerful will sashay 
to heated bunkers-stocked with tomorrow...
While above, the serfs break dance 
like ants in a boiling water bath.
There'll be no

Outhouse Wake Up Call

coldest day ever
stiff outhouse door barely shuts
rude awakening

The Outhouse Market

A flea market called the outhouse market
is located just outside of York Town.
And an arrow sign nailed to an old tree
points you to the best flea market around.

Cause it's hidden behind some outhouses
folks need to look for it, it's hard to find.
And yet, it has quite a reputation
as the place ... to find those one

The Outhouse Fiasco

I was raised up in Wichita Kansas
A city slicker I'd guess you would say
Once my Uncle Ben took my brother and I
To visit his cabin for a night and a day

We fished and swam and had great fun
Then went back to the cabin for a bit
I asked Uncle Ben, “Where's the bathroom at”
He said, “Out

The Outhouse

Back in the old days
Which wasn’t long ago.
We had to use the outhouse
When we had to go.

They came in many shapes and forms
And reeked of you know what.
The walk was rather tedious 
When you had to go at night.

Some would keep a bed pan
Underneath their bed.
So if it was just #one
They would use it instead.

Some

Searching For the Outhouse

Travelling through the outback 
with a tour group, 
my stomach started rumblin' 
I had to go poop. 

I ran underneath 
a eucalyptus tree, 
but a dang dingo 
kept following me. 

I had to go 
really darn bad, 
this is the worst feeling 
I have ever had. 

I kept running around 
was feeling rather daft, 
I

I Thee Am a Component Therefore of Intrinsic Outhouse Disconnect

Watch me walk through the sadsands of stupored time 
trading youth for aged ashes, suredness for shyness
knowledge for retirement, candor for cowardice, 
diligence for dunceness, eagerness for 
edginess, fairness for flakiness, goodness for gonadness,
healing for hurting, idealism for idiocracy,
judgement for jealously, kandor for killing,
loving for lamenting, mentoring for miserating, 
needing for neausating, optimizing for obliterating,
penetrating

The Talking Outhouse

I passed by the privy one day
and heard this voice that came my way.
I looked all around and way out yonder,
stood there awhile and had to ponder.
Someone was calling my name so free,
but who in the world could it be?
the door to the house was open a mite,
I shut the door and latched it tight.
I

My Outhouse

Welcome to my outhouse
My humble little abode
Just four walls with a couple of holes
That help with the ca-mode

Always something to read
Or a word search to be done
May write some words on the wall
To read later for a little fun

So sorry about the smell
But this is where the business gets done
I'll kindly sprinkle some lime down

Outhouse Blues

Sitting in the outhouse,
Gettin' high on turds;
Thinking about my crappy life,
Can't sum it up in words

The kids ain't worth a quarter,
They're meaner than the mob;
All they do is eat and fart,
They won't go find a job!

I have a cat named Bonzo,
He hates his litterbox;
Squats wherever he chooses,
Right on my favorite socks

My stupid dog Binky,
Dumber than

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