Limericks Poems - Poems about Limericks

Hot Bikini Suzy bought a new bikini for Joe But the price she paid, he wouldn't want to know A sexy sheer suit, expensive, but cute She's hoping it soon makes his hot blood flow! Jaw dropping Martha liked to tan topless at the beach Soon her phone was ringing and out of reach She stood up to her dismay, her rack was now on...

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Zebras are clever little horses with stripes They know how to discharge without having to wipe They say pigs roll in the mud so as to get clean My wife keeps trying mudpacks...

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There once was a sensitive vicar, who said, "I'm not one to bicker, but the peal of that bell, makes me feel quite unwell, and plays merry hell with my ticker." An incensed old soul by the spire, preaching incense-igniting to the choir, exclaimed, "There is but one catch, when striking a match, don't set your surplice on fire." A parson spoke from the nave, "Spend...

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There once was a young man from Szechwan, who thought his prick looked like a pecan. He met Bertha Butts, who was hankering for nuts, so he gave her his pecan to chew on. The women in my Viking village don't like domestic work or tillage. They get much more excited when they all get invited on raids to go plunder and pillage. I said,...

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I hate it when a girl rolls her eyes, because that means she's on to my lies. And then it's harder to get her to let me under her sweater, and then on to the ultimate prize. When Jill and I vowed to go all the way, we were both very excited, I'd say. Till we got to the road less taken, where...

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This morning, my yard was hopping with squirrels and rabbits busily shopping for pine needles, berries, and cones, perfumes, oils, and sweet colognes, to entice partners for this evening's bebopping. The fox said to the wolf in a huff. "We're making this problem way too tough. You take that goat, Sandie, and I'll take that lamb, Randy. And we'll split Porks, if that ain't...

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I once met a child of the devil, who in her father’s fame did revel. And boy, would she get mad if you dared diss her dad. Her rage would hit a hellish level. I knew a character named Louise who blew up her world in one big sneeze. When she opened her eyes ~ anon, her entire world was gone. And she...

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A papoose with a twin is papooses, Double goose and get geese, but not gooses. Pluralizing perplexes me, Aggravates me, and vexes me, And I suspect that it checks my creative juices. ...

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Irish tales of what a leprechaun gives away If you don’t wear green on St Paddy’s Day a painful pinch Like Suisse’s Grinch, a green tie or vest so invisible you’ll stay ...

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The limericks piled in his yard Made mowing and maintenance hard. The blade would get stuck When nonsense it struck, The handle from hyperbole jarred. ...

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The man who a limerick makes, Some topic or other he takes. He drags it around, Through air and the ground, Then at a high temperature, bakes. ...

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A classicist once might have said, That limericks are poetry, dead. Another might say, ‘Tis verse that’s at play, That speaks to the earth in our head. ...

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A sentence or two, nothing more. Five rhymes, and then back out the door. A meter that’s strained, Some topic profaned: Ah me! What’s a limerick for? ...

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For the sleigh team there applied ten: Nine deer and a man born of men; Though trembling with fear, Santa’s choice was clear: Rudolf instead of Dolf Lundgren. Ol' Frosty was struggling to count- He couldn’t get his numbers to mount. He dropped his mid-weight To look like an eight And so now can give good account. Santa stipulated stocked shelves And so...

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Santa is ready for the big night, Rudolph's red nose is really bright. Santa's bag is toy filled, that elf is unskilled. The ground is covered in snow of white. Elf's are funny and cute but very small, always asking Santa to make them tall. He said eat lots of fish, as you make this tall wish. Santa gave them all a new...

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