Limericks Poems

Hash It Out

There once was a place  soupers called PS
Forgive me if I sound a bit too superc-i-l-i-o-u-s
               Bloggers delight with fisticuffs                
at  spiteful bullies 

Limericks X

Limericks X

This is a more serious limerick:

The Abandoned Child’s Complaint
by Michael R. Burch

I hoped you might have loved me,
but you pushed me out to sea
   like Moses, for some other
   strange Egyptian mother:
Isis, Nefertiti.

Keywords/Tags: limerick, child. childhood, children, child abuse, baby, abandonment, unloved, love, unwanted, mother

Summer Bawdy Limericks

Hot Bikini
Suzy bought a new bikini for Joe
But the price she paid, he wouldn't want to know
A sexy sheer suit,
expensive, but cute
She's hoping it soon makes his hot blood flow!

Jaw dropping
Martha liked to tan topless at the beach
Soon her phone was ringing and out of reach
She stood up to her dismay,
her rack was now on

Animal 'Mini-Limericks'

     Zebras are clever little horses with stripes
       They know how to discharge without having to wipe

     They say pigs roll in the mud so as to get clean
        My wife keeps trying mudpacks

Limericks Written In A Country Churchyard

There once was a sensitive vicar,
who said, "I'm not one to bicker,
but the peal of that bell,
makes me feel quite unwell,
and plays merry hell with my ticker."

An incensed old soul by the spire,
preaching incense-igniting to the choir,
exclaimed, "There is but one catch,
when striking a match,
don't set your surplice on fire."

A parson spoke from the nave,
"Spend

Bunch of limericks and other funny tricks I

"Okay, tell me, who's gonna be next?"
said the writer of the too-long text.
"No, please, not me," said the lean noun.
"Cut that fat verb there, two lines down."
And they all watched with their faces vexed.
The women in my Viking village
don't like domestic work or tillage.
They get much more excited
when they all get invited
on raids to go

Bunch of limericks and other funny tricks II

I hate it when a girl rolls her eyes,
because that means she's on to my lies.
And then it's harder to get her
to let me under her sweater,
and then on to the ultimate prize.
I never once said that you were fat.
I'd never be as nasty as that.
I think you’re a real cutey.
I just adore your booty.
But

Animal limericks and non-limericks

This morning, my yard was hopping
with squirrels and rabbits busily shopping
for pine needles, berries, and cones,
perfumes, oils, and sweet colognes,
to entice partners for this evening's bebopping.
The fox said to the wolf in a huff.
"We're making this problem way too tough.
You take that goat, Sandie,
and I'll take that lamb, Randy.
And we'll split Porks, if that ain't

Limericks and other funny tricks III

My wife's housekeeping skills are lackluster.
For getting things done, I just can't trust her.
And her oven runs too hot,
and the sole besom she's got
flies only between Salem and Custer.
I caught that crass, old man on the moon
sneak a peak at my naked wife, June.
In anger, I discussed the matter
with my good friend, the mad hatter,
who

Let There Be Limericks: Perplexing Plurals

A papoose with a twin is papooses,
Double goose and get geese, but not gooses.
Pluralizing perplexes me,
Aggravates me, and vexes me,
And I suspect that it checks my creative juices.

Pinch Me Collab

Irish tales of what a leprechaun gives away
If you don’t wear green on St Paddy’s Day 
a painful pinch
Like Suisse’s Grinch,
a green tie or  vest so invisible you’ll stay
                         

The Limericks Piled in His Yard

The limericks piled in his yard
Made mowing and maintenance hard.
The blade would get stuck
When nonsense it struck,
The handle from hyperbole jarred.

A Limerick on Limericks III

The man who a limerick makes,
Some topic or other he takes.
He drags it around,
Through air and the ground,
Then at a high temperature, bakes.

A Limerick on Limericks II

A classicist once might have said,
That limericks are poetry, dead.
Another might say,
‘Tis verse that’s at play,
That speaks to the earth in our head.

A Limerick on Limericks

A sentence or two, nothing more.
Five rhymes, and then back out the door.
A meter that’s strained,
Some topic profaned:
Ah me! What’s a limerick for?

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