~ She Reached Down My Pants ~
Went to the recent school dance
Was grabbed by a big, fat chance
Who reached down my pants
But what she wanted was missing
She settled for an hour of French kissing
~ She Was Homely, I Wanted Comely ~
My first date was, to put it mildly, slightly homely
I told her honestly I was seeking someone more comely
What’d she do? She spat in my eye
Told me I was a typical dull guy
'Cos if I wanted the latest gossip ~ with her I’d never be lonely
An erotic stanza
with a sensual bonanza...
stronger than liquor
when the last line's a kicker...
hotter than vice
while brief and concise...
coming from all nations,
each with their variations
of ribald situations...
they're even kinda "juicy" -
with more info than a blue movie!
The Pensive Poet Poetry Contest. Sponsored by: Constance La France
By Poet "Oh yes, 100% human here. No AI for me."
Come let me tell you a story,
how writers once wrote.
They wrote from their loving hearts,
telling stories in different styles.
Some were rhymes or funny limericks,
verse was a favorite along with a tanka.
I find acrostic to be fun,
but taking more thought and time.
Today this new thing called AI,
is the new kid on the block.
AI has no loving heart to write with,
yet many readers have been blinded.
I put much thought and reflection,
into each poem for my readers.
A true writer writes because they love to,
also writing for their many readers.
I had a good time
reading and laughing, enjoyed
hot warm Limericks!
Cinderella
When Cinderella left a glass slipper,
Allowing prince to find and marry her;
Not only the size that fit,
Her foot was injured a bit,
And allowed him put ointment and plaster.
Snow White
When Snow White woke up from the prince’s kiss,
Her love-life turned into a perfect bliss;
The witch finally gave up,
Climbed to sleep at the rooftop
Then, she was awoken by the sweet snake’s hiss
Beauty And The Beast
So Belle tearfully confessed her true love,
when the last rose-petal fell just above;
Beast transformed into human,
“A handsome prince!” she was stunned,
Two servants rushed to her side to shove.
(Cinderella)
Dainty slipper of glass shined in sun ray,
she had lost on her hurried run away.
Entranced prince made ardent vow
to find her somewhere somehow,
place it on her pretty feet come what may.
(Snow white and seven dwarfs)
She was lying in deep sleep, the prince found
her beauty was astoundingly profound.
He kissed her with perfection,
she woke up from dejection,
rare rapture she sensed for long all around.
(Alice in wonderland)
The Hatter was mad as much he could be,
handing round infinite cups of hot tea.
With puzzles and melody
they wandered along in glee
through the confusion, amusingly free.
(Sleeping beauty)
The prince found her asleep, face sweet with flair,
he kissed her with affection and with care.
She woke up with entranced eyes,
got filled with joy in surprise,
expelled the curse with flashy flicker rare.
An odd hatchling was judged by many,
Life for her was hardly sunny,
Every single good old day,
Just saying his skin was grey,
Why did they say it was so funny?
Was it that in the princess and the pea,
A power was held inside this sweetie,
Such a sensitive princess
to find in such thickness,
such a small pea, he was in glee
Written: May 5th, 2026, for contest sponsored by: Natasha L Scragg
1st place contest winner
*****************
1. Cinderella
There once was a Fairy so frazzled,
whose magic was sloppy and dazzled.
She meant to make gowns—
but turned mice into clowns—
Cinderella left early, bedazzled.
2. Little Riding Hood
Red met the big wolf on the trail,
who said, "I'll eat you!"—quite the detail.
But Red, being sweet,
said, "Please—after you eat,"
and the wolf felt too guilty to prevail.
3. Goldilocks
Goldilocks strolled in with a grin,
But the Bears had installed a new PIN.
She tapped and poked and guessed—
Papa Bear was impressed—
And they adopted her in as kin.
4. Jack and the Beanstalk
A Giant cried, "Fee-fi-fo-fum!"
But softly—his courage was numb.
He whispered instead,
"Please don't steal my bread…"
And Jack hugged him and called him "my chum."
5. Snow White
The Queen asked her mirror one day,
"Who's fairest?" in her usual way.
It sighed, "Well… Snow's cute,
but you've got better *suit*—
maybe focus on *fashion*, okay?"
Part 1: Robin Hood and His Fair Share
There once was a man named Robin Hood
A fine huntsman who lived in the wood
He stole from the big rich
To the poor he would pitch
But kept his fair share as he should
Part 2: Frog Prince and His Never Ending Wait
There once was a frog who knew
as he sat by his pond and he grew
one day a fair miss
would throw him a kiss~
a wannabe prince he’d wait for breakthrough
(Goldilocks)
One bear - two bears- baby makes three,
Mommy making hot berry tea and brie.
Soup is way too hot,
No sleep on a soft cot.
New home and not needing to flee.
(Little Red Riding hood)
Mommy gave me good advice,
maybe I should have listened twice.
A wolf I did find,
lost my love and mind
Now pregnant paying the price.
(The Three Little Pigs)
We are three of a family kind,
except one got caught in the wind.
One got caught by the fire,
he was in a house fryer.
Wanting new homes space aged designed.
A prince who’d been changed by a spell,
Was an ugly frog in a well.
To a pretty young miss
He said, “Give me a kiss.”
She replied, No thank you, you smell.”
When asked by Prince Charming to wed,
Cinderella shook her fair head.
Thought, not for a ransom,
He’s not very handsome
And she married Buttons instead.
When Snow-white saw the dwarves in the hall,
She observed they were not very tall.
They were children she thought
And decided she ought
To apply to foster them all.
The dragon had breath fiery red
And the people wanted him dead.
So Saint George was dispatched
But, unevenly matched,
The dragon slayed Saint George instead
Georgy Porgy, pudding and pie,
Kissed all the girls and made them cry.
Nursery Land was aghast
At what had just passed
For Georgy was a girl, that’s why.
On the pretext of finding water,
Jack chased Jill and then, when he caught her,
They got carried away
And the following May,
Jill gave birth to a little daughter
The Three Little Pigs lived dangerously.
They taunted the Bad Wolf mercilessly.
For he lost his huff
And he lost his puff
So he blew their place up with TNT!
It was the Evil Queen that the joke was on.
She wasted every apple in the land. All gone!
If she could morph
In to a Dwarf
She may have tricked Snow White in to eating one.
If Pinocchio had strings to hold him down
He may have looked less like a clown.
The plank stuck to his face
And brought down the place.
A proper puppeteer would have gone to town.
When we think about the Granny of Little Miss Red,
Why do we imagine a frail invalid in bed?
One day, to survive
When Red didn't arrive
She glued in her dentures and ate a Bad Wolf instead.
"Second star to the right and straight on to morning"
To reach Neverland for the days dawning.
Just imagine if you can
If you wrote to Peter Pan,
The poor post man would deliver it yawning.
Cinderella married the handsome Henry Prince Charming
After a start in life psychologically harming.
Her rags to riches tale
Happily did not fail
To cause the evil in her stepfamily to find this alarming.
there was a anxious young lass from Darry
who thought the world around her is scary
everything she trembled and shook
even pages from a picture book
it`s so funny how her name is Merry
----------------------------------------------------------
there was an Irish duck called Taffy
was a second cousin to Daffy
tried to impress other ducks
but become fresh out of luck
rejected by lady duck, Daisy
-----------------------------------------------------
there was a pretty young las from Portrush
with a strapping lad she had a big crush
he gave her a bright red rose
with words he then did propose
the colour of the rose, became her blush
--------------------------------------------------
there was an old man from Dublin
too much guiness, started stublin`
falling on his skinny bum
after slippin` on some gum
he went home, all sore and babblin`
--------------------------------------------------------
the irish lass from county kildare
when out ice skating, told to take care
tried a twirl and jump
but fell on her rump
and broke the part that sits on a chair
Be mine, oh please, love my heart, soul and gut
Your meanness is sexy, my darling ____
Oh, my dear AG
Turn your fury on me
Scream insults at me as I swat your _____
by Robert Gorelick
Rants and raves at congress, she’s domineering
Attorney General’s reputation smearing
Unlike humble Ghandi
She's Mean-Girl Bondi
A maniac, hard-hearted and hard-of-hearing
by I Am Anaya
Happy Valentine's Day!
2/14/26
Why not try to write and see what I have to say,
or is it my pen doing all the talking today?
OK pen what do you have to say?
Why not try a big change and just play?
Rhymes and limericks can be fun in their own way.
Why not enter a fun contest even with no pay?
Making my mind and pen explode hooray.
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