Best Dachshund Poems
Some folks call me a sausage dog
I think they couldn’t be meaner
It’s not my fault I’m long and short
And look like a misshapen wiener
I’ve got four stumpy little legs
So my tummy is near to the ground
My owner’s take me for a drag not a walk
Guess that's why they named me Cigarette!
01~16~15
Contest: Dachshunds – Rob Carmack
~awarded 9th place~
Premiere Contest #13 sponsored by SKAT
One
Chloee? Yes Reginald!
Why do they call us Dachshunds, Wiener Dogs?
Maybe they call you a Wiener Reginald!
You cut me off at the legs with that one Chloee!
Two
Chloee? Yes Reginald! Have you ever smelled mothballs.
No Reginald it's too difficult to spread their tiny legs.
My that was a low blow Chloee. You wish Reginald, you wish!
Three
Reginald? Yes Chloee! I was at the park with my owner playing
Frisbee. As I watched the Frisbee I wondered why it was getting
bigger and bigger as it came towards me than it hit me.
Four
Chloee? Yes Reginald!
I was just lying down in the park the other day watching a Labrador
chasing his tail an' I thought ain't that amazing how easily amused
Labradors are! Then I realized I was watching the Labrador chase his tail.
Five
Reginald? Yes Chloee! I've written a poem it goes like this.
"Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme. And some don't!"
Six
Chloee? Yes Reginald! I was at a restaurant, I ordered a chicken sandwich,
but I don’t think the waitress understood me. Because she said,
“How would you like your eggs?” So I tried to answer her anyhow. I said,
“Incubated! And then raised, and then beheaded, and then plucked,
and then cut up, and then put onto a grill, and then put onto a bun.
Damn! It’s gonna take a while. I don’t have time. Scrambled!”
The Finale
A Dachshund walks under a bar. I mean walks into a bar. Goes to the
bar and sits down. Asks the bartender "can I have a Budweiser Light
Beer" the bartender serves him and informs him "that will be seven dollars".
The Dachshund pays. The bartender keeps looking at the Dachshund.
Finally the Dachshund yells "What?" The bartender explains "no I'm
sorry we just never get Dachshunds in this bar." The Dachshund replies
"I'm not surprised...at seven dollars for a beer..."
The Encore
Reginald? Yes Chloee! When you cut your nails, do you file them?
Yes Chloee as a matter of fact I do! Pity! I just throw mine out!
Curtains!
01~10~2015
Sponsor: rob carmack
Contest: Daschunds
When I walk, my chest nearly touches the floor
With tail wagging madly I know I can score.
The judges look at my teeth and nails
I give that steely look that never fails.
My coat is brushed to a high sheen
I am the proudest dog you have ever seen.
Bred to scent, chase and flush out
Rabbits and badgers, with my long snout.
I might be small but a tough customer
Lion hearted to defend my master.
,
So don’t look at size look at content
Judges chose me to win the old codgers contest
With rosette on my collar, nearly as big as my head
I walk around the show arena, thinking, where’s my bed.
Gone are the days when out in the fields I would run
Now I would rather lie in the garden and soak up the sun
The Dachshund’s a marvel on skis
Little legs that stop short of its knees
It can schuss like a pro
Making furrows in snow
(Though its privates are given to freeze)
A dauntless dachshund was my darling dog.
He was charmed to chase the cavorting frog.
He always ran and romped with great agility ,
For sniffing and smelling mice, he had a special ability.
He was rock black in shade and was very bold.
He stayed loyal and lively and never grew old.
His swaddling gait and swiveling move,
Brought much joy. From life, all boredom he did remove.
Safeguarded and shielded our home with a surveilling eye.
Lazily loitered with us under the lulling evening sky.
His sparkling starry eyes shone with joyful delight.
He sought snuggles and cuddles as if they were his right.
Sad, one day, our darling dachshund for ever departed.
Dropping his doggy duties, from us, he silently parted.
The memory of the magical moments he gave, merrily stays.
A faithful friend who gave us funny and festive days!
A bunch of dry lime leaves like schoolkids runs
across the street. Be careful, do not slip
on crispy morning frost. I see someone’s
bike on its side, its owner rubs his hip.
Are you okay? He is okay. A crow
pecks out a crumpled tinfoil. What's inside?
Alas, inedible. I’d like to know
what cars parked off the road dream of at night.
Oh, these wet dreams that make their windows sweat,
you’re definitely better, to misquote
Poe, than reality. A young brunette
next door walks her old dachshund in the coat.
That's how a pen of poet turns sometimes
a routine morning walk into the rhymes.
21.10.2019
Your Best Sonnet July-December 2019 Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: John Hamilton
https://www.howmanysyllables.com
10 10 10 10 0 10 10 10 10 0 10 10 10 10 0 10 10
Small and mighty,little and proud
One of the weeniest doggies around
but don't let size fool you, you're in for a treat
I am one of the bravest and loyalest you'll meet
The comical clown who just loves to play
I'll take no time to train if you show me the way
I'll play with your slippers, and sleep on your bed
and then when you're sleeping,lick your face, neck and head.
some say I am yappy but i swear its all rumors
My sharp high-pitched bark is just meant for intruders
I'll roll on my back and let you rub my tummy
I'll do anything for a small treat, if its yummy
potty training can take a while they say
but remember that Rome wasn't built in a day.
oh and dogs can be gassy so please beg my pardon
and I may dig the occasional hole in the garden
But if you're looking to take on a new life long friend
and you promise to care for me right to the end
you don't need to search far or start looking around
choose the 'doxie', the dachshund, the 'sausage dog' hound!
As a pup she sailed through the air
Jumping from chair to chair
An eagle's elegant poise void
Just a thud 'pon the air
Those short legs carried her swiftly
As her chest drug the ground
Most all small furry creatures drew
A bristle and grrrr sound
Her red coat matched her fiery growl
As enemies she faced
Until that brave cat stood her ground
And a red dachshund chased
The moral of this story is
Don't get all bristled up
You might meet your match dear friend
In a small dachshund pup
Sponsor: Rob Carmach
Contest: Dachshunds
Written: January 26, 2015
I puppy sat and now dog sit my daughter's dachshund
Her personality is still the same fiery..
Fiery can have either two or three syllables
I used it as two..
This is a form of Poulter's measure..
My little dachshund is such a pest,
when I'm writing he just won't rest.
He grabs the ball and comes sashaying in
trying to gain my attentions solely on him.
I resist at first, determined to continue writing
but his persistence is quite inspiring.
Once or twice is never enough,
he's a little dog hidden in the rough.
Before I throw the ball he is away
standing, holding, waiting for the play.
I raise my arm and point to left then to right
but he knows this game and holds steady in spite.
My little friend is wise beyond his years
and there he goes running to my cheers.
He returns with satisfaction, holding tight the ball
knowing at some point Ill say "That's all."
I can't resist that tiny face
and in the yard we each take our place.
We play our games, applauding each new feat
then go inside for a special treat.
My next door neighbor has a little dog
Who lives his life close to the ground
They laughingly call him "Stretch"
A much sweeter dog cannot be found
Stretch has an" I can do it" attitude
He tries and tries to jump the fence
Now really, its just my own opinion
But I think he's more than a little dense
He tries to bring in the morning paper
Between his legs he lets it drag along
Almost every day he trips and falls
Never able to figure out what's wrong
He brings a bit of fun to the neighborhood
We gladly doggie- sit when they're away
This goofy little dog with six inch legs
Has a way of brightening up our day
Dachshund headgear:
Weenie
Beenie
Frankfurter for a Dachshund:
Weenie
Weenie
Grouchy Dachshund:
Meany
Weenie
Proportionally, a male Dachshund has a:
Teenie
Weenie
(But size isn't everything)
Dachshund making critical life choices:
Eeenie
Weenie...
Dachshund is a banana skin:
Short like a cigarette butt,
Big eyes like two snooker balls,
Wide ears like the vessel's flags,
Legs interlocked like a letter X,
Long trunk like a train on the track,
All buttock like a kangaroo.
If I should meet it on my way out,
I will retract home and recite a psalm.
My name is Franz Ferdinand
I’m a Dachshund not a band!
I come in coats 1,2 and 3
2 sizes - standard and mini
My coats are smooth or wire or long
Short on legs, my back’s not strong
but take me to a badger hill,
I’ll dig and dig and won’t stop till
I do the job that must be done
And get those badgers on the run.
My red fat dachshund
Independent smart
Intelligent dog
My sweet dog grandhound
Visits me daily
Constantly brings smiles
Dachshunds - Poetry Contest
My Doll, My Dachshund
An old abandoned house in the country, is where we saved our precious hound
Covered in mange, fleas, ticks and whatever deathly smell she had found
I called her name; from out of the yonder she came when she heard my yell
We could see she was excited to be rescued and the car ride went well
Once we arrived home, it was bath time, eating, then sleep
For hours she snuggled next to me without even a weep
She was red, small, a miniature seven year old baby of mine
We shared everything together and talked all the time
We would cuddle in blankets when weather was cold
No matter the circumstance, she and I fit the mold
One day she came to me, however not feeling right
I rushed her to the clinic and sat there all night
The doctor informed me that she could no longer walk
I sat there stunned, desperately crying, I couldn't talk
Our only option, as you can imagine, was true
I held her in my arms as she went into the sky blue
She is buried by the creek bed where she loved to play
There is not a moment that I don’t miss her every single day
Not knowing if I will ever feel the same way as I did then
Hoping that someday, her little nose will nudge me again
01-07-15 Dachshund poetry-soup contest
For sissy, you are missed my pet.