Neuman Poems - Poems about Neuman

Au Revoir Oh Perilous Freedom

...Au revoir oh perilous freedom...

Since pledging my troth
to the missus July 25th, 1996
after the comma error
punctuated mein kampf with disequilibrium.

Ever since the notions
of life, liber...

Figurative Paralysis Laid Waste Body Electric of Mine

...Figurative paralysis laid waste body electric of mine

This is Spinal tap 
bamboozling, binding, bleeding, bombing...
ripped from every dog eared 
and book marked page
recounting latest ill fat...

Fretfully Aching To Feel Fit As a Fiddle

...Fretfully aching to feel fit as a fiddle

After experiencing a severe,
albeit violent near lethal bout
of irritable bowel syndrome
(yesterday night August 30th, 2023)
triggered courtesy dulcola...

Unidentified Extraterrestrials Willingly Abducted Me

...Unidentified extraterrestrial(s) willingly abducted me

As a divergence 
from the apocalyptical, dialectical, 
geomorphological, judgmatical, 
metaphorical, philosophical...,
I share an out of ...

Worry Knot Chokes Out the Living Daylights

...Worry knot chokes out the living daylights

I know from personal experience
the foolhardiness of
courting, flirting, honeymooning...
worse case scenario,
particularly when just a wee lad,
your...

Unidentified Flying Object Abducted Yours Truly,

...Unidentified flying object abducted yours truly,... 

a willing experimental subject 
to escape untenable married life.

Upon falling into a deep slumber, 
the following subconscious 
somnambu...

My Favorite President

...My favorite president?
Can't tell you now
they've re-written history
and a mob with pitchforks
would be chasing me.

The terms of their herd immunity
let them rule with impunity
from within t...

Murder In the Tunnel-

...I have a problem;
these animals keep digging
mammals moles, gophers

~

hole digging tunnels
Oh! Burrowers where’s your den
you’re not our friend

~

small animals holes
moles, voles, ra...

Maintaining Marital Covenant Bailiwick Wife Doth Master

...which prime mate affectionately called buttock blaster
alimentary explosion ofttimes causes global disaster
upon such gaseous debacle run for your life ever faster!

Yours truly (humorously dry h...

Lavender Lady

...LAVENDER LADY
She was my lavender lady;
Standing by the lake,
Gazing across the sky-blue water
At who-knows what in the distance.
She was the very essence of elegance.
Spurning...

Let *****Sapiens Envision Eco Friendly Infrastructure

...Radical planet friendly measures
equals earning kudos as unsung hero
(think environmental/carbon footprint)
nearly absolute zero
while global population quarantine
suspension of civil rights
wo...

Rock Ribbed Dogmatic Secular Humanist

...Morality and self-fulfillment
attainable without belief in God
similarly yours truly
would figuratively crane
his credulity to ascertain Ichabod
mentioned in first Book of Samuel
as purported s...

2009 Hyundai Sonata An Infuriating Rattletrap

...Time and again finances stretched
to breaking point
crackle, pop, and snap
'curse Alfred E. Neuman
smiles at yours truly
(this luckless papa)

with with his toothy gap
haint even Abel nor Cai...

Fretfully Aching To Feel Fit As a Fiddle

...Unsolicited feedback
across rock of ages woke
beguiling ghostly busty spectre
courtesy Marie-Antoinette,
(i.e. bride of France's arty choke
King Louis XVI) bespoke

let him eat cake, and (sic)...

Driven Mad

...Alice Neuman, the last human who could drive died
Spread rapidly on networked news platforms that never lied
To the twelve billion populous that could not
Because of the AI developed when she was ...

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