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Disordered Poems

disordered

am i going crazy?
those words will consistently ring out in my head
like a bomb that has just struck land
sometimes it feels like you're walking on eggshells
forever i am labelled as i am unbalanced
unstable
my head is so loud
but so quiet at the same time

like the silent whirring of tv static
head-splitting chattering is buried deep within my

Categories: disordered, abuse, child abuse, depression,
Form: I do not know?

Galley slave to obsessive compulsive disordered behavior announces

Galley slave to obsessive compulsive disordered behavior announces...

Fore score minus xv orbitz ago
from being centenarian
strong contractions forced me
to pass thru cervix,
buck naked bare lady,
I ranked as only grandson sharing
same surname as Aaron,
(mine paternal grandfather)
me the sole heir –
foreshortened to Sol Aire

evinced scrawniness then (as shown
via ultrasound), which at birth
became crystal clear,
unbeknownst to parents
obsessive hidden compulsive

Categories: disordered, 6th grade, 7th grade,
Form: Rhyme

Disordered Sons and Fathers

May all sacred,
but not quite omnipotent,
fathers learn this day
as we impatiently correct
our stress-disordered sons

That respect is earned,
so maybe disrespect is too
positive and negative layered
for and against authority
for and sometimes restlessly against
repeating Business As Usual 
white middle-class dadisms:

You snooze
you lose

May apply to your lethargic
chronically anxious 
thuggish 
couch-surfing
cannabis-fed son

And yet feels counter-intuitive
for babies
and us great grandads
who need

Categories: disordered, age, father son, health,
Form: Parallelismus Membrorum

Book: Radiant Verses: A Journey Through Inspiring Poetry

On Healing

Sometimes healing is messy
It is a rollercoaster 
Ups and downs
Sometimes I can handle it
Other times I lose control
I say I am in recovery for my bulimia
But I still struggle
I still consider pushing myself that extra hour in the gym
I think skipping lunch that day won't hurt
I sometimes spend too much time looking at teeth enamel

Categories: disordered, anxiety, health,
Form: Free verse

Disordered

They say this sense of martyrdom is disordered.

And so is the sense that this world is growing broader. 

There is nothing behind the revival I had promised-

The revived connections that are a secret, there is order to it, honest!

As my thoughts become harder to understand…

My plans to be a savoir are in limbo, this light

Categories: disordered, mental illness,
Form: Rhyme

Kafka Disordered

“Kafka Disordered”



Kafka disordered 
never complete
in himself 
burning stories 
fuel for Nero
dreams of you
reading him 
wrapt under 
the covers
of his last pages 
tattooing his voice
on your tongue

lips pass keys
legs entwined
love notes 
never run

Metamorphosis
the trial

(LadyLabyrinth / 2020)





"Mirror Forever" / Weyes Blood
https://youtu.be/tQ1CH2_Arws


"Andromeda" / Weyes Blood
https://youtu.be/Aki1Xn36eJ8






“Every thing you love 
is very likely to be lost, 
but in the end,

Categories: disordered, dream, muse, mystery,
Form: Romanticism

Disordered Love

Sometimes I follow
my negative thoughts, and think
Am I losing you?

I know I'm unsafe
I'll be a catastrophe
I just can't leave you

Lonely lonely me
I can't stand to be apart 
dreading your goodbye

I know I am wrong
as I can't love you without
harmful expression

Somehow you love me
through all of my disorder
I love you for that

Categories: disordered, love, mental illness,
Form: Haiku

love, disordered -

you hold my gaze

fix upon my eyes and lips
       then back to my eyes
              'Do you believe in chaos?' I ask

'No, Babe, I don't'
       'That word is just a farce

Categories: disordered, passion, sensual, soulmate, words,
Form: Free verse

Disordered Eating

My stomach twists, 
Empty.
I'll run to forget the pain,
Busy.
Drinking water helps,
Better.
I go home and shower, 
Clean.
My reflection catches my eye,
Fat.
I look away,
Shame.
I flip on the TV.
Bored.
Victoria's Secret ad comes on,
Curious.
Their bodies chiseled into perfection,
Jealous
Tv turned off,
Wishing.
Empty refrigerators will stay,
Almost.
Next workout to burn off more,
Thin.
My stomach wrenches,
Empty.

Categories: disordered, body, image, woman,
Form: Free verse

Disordered

protests now do detest them
the helmets will address them
run panic and distress them
banish to cell and condemn
claim right to rule again

hard-and-fast the policy
fell hard that commodity
hitting streets so solidly
viewed as such an oddity
such a ***** thing to see

wave recedes again to swell
building up a clientele
force apply fire, to expel
as wave takes in material
cameras rolling just

Categories: disordered, community, courage, emotions, imagery,
Form: Rhyme