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Poetry Forum. A poetry forum dedicated strictly to poetry. Poets can use this poetry forum for poetry workshops, sharing poetic techniques, discussing aspects of poetry, poetry publishing, and the poetry industry. Poetry forum members can enter poetry contests, post poems, and participate in the #1 poetry community on the internet.

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Recent posts
10/19/2014 6:05:53 AM
Topic:
Break the Clouds

Shaun Herron
Posts: 2
Thrust up from the firmament and break the clouds.


Wring from the world the Water of Life in its crystalline perpetuity as raiment.


Bend the wind around your back and send to me the most undeniable of siren songs.


Send your mirage of eternity to these eye-blink lives longing for forever and I will bear my bones with feather-light heart to the sight of your object eye.

For only there can I see how tiny and fleeting are all my fears.

And all my triumphs.


Show me the illusion and may I know it for Smoke before the mirror.


The dreams of the Mountain haunt the step of every day.

Memories of freedom to those in chains.


What are they worth?


Nothing at all.
And Life itself.
edited by Shaun Herron on 10/19/2014
edited by Shaun Herron on 10/19/2014
edited by Shaun Herron on 10/19/2014
edited by Shaun Herron on 10/19/2014
10/19/2014 12:01:06 AM
Topic:
What's wrong? Brutality is ok if well-intentioned!

Bob Atkinson
Posts: 19


  • We do it for mother and country, (a veteran myself) but in no way can we pretend it to be in the name of humanity. Necessary for our culture, maybe, but never nice.

The Meaning of War

- by Bob Atkinson




sickness raged, sickness stayed

within armies of the land

tearing life from hearts of men

dressed as gentlemen, fancy caps



tokens of their own design

for which they gladly died

in strange
lands for different reasons

religion, stupidity and pride


Enniskillen by Bob Atkinson



fare thee well those of Enniskillen

you bravely go to death

stories folded into time

with saber or with long lance


Fighting Pride by Bob Atkinson



dragoons and horsemen, those of cannon



Victoria



fighting for Victoria's figurehead

red and green and gray suit coats

flags waved upon pole staffs




Lord Raglan



Lord Raglan wanted victory

against Russia's southern march

opposed by those who held great pride

years ago, in Napoleon's rout




Poem: Battle of Borodino by Bob Atkinson



yet freedom didn't reign as thought

in his country of past conquest

where death, destruction, devastation

drooled from mouths of warrior men




Meshikov



Meshikov commanded opposition

some saw this as battle for

religion, that sweet jewel of man

which rots your teeth down to the core




displayed pride herein contained

pushing anempire on the run

beaten down by circumstance

and by the force of gun




Charge of the Light Brigade



when nations disagree
they struggle as if two men
black eyes become the dying
foes are made of friends

battles grind the souls of men
into that jellied mud thickly spread
pushing lives into the brink
taking the future from our children


this was one of many fights
in the Crimean war of shame
some won, some lost some came away
in agony and with pain

six hundred fought in this group

brave, though under fire

from all sides of a narrow valley

pushed to their death by pride




light cavalry, not a heavy force

no punch brought for to stay

just charge and find where the enemy

is strong and where they'll break




pride of country, pride of army

pride of the marching man

pride of soldiers astride their mounts

pride of wicked saints of sin




pride of those who gave bad orders

pride of those confused by orders unclear

pride of those who guessed where

to attack an enemy from the rear




fighting for those values all

so close held to their vest

mother, country, attitude

or orders from true gents




with unwillingness to divest

in barbaric travesty

or in destiny of purpose

whatever stood as consequence




minds made only to conquer

whatever lay in front

with guns of fire held in the hand

or saber thrusts at hearts




here in a land so far from home

must prove what could be done

with blazing cannon shooting down

those advancing or on the run




so, six hundred charged the valley

wrong valley here they went

under fire of cannon's thunder

fire from rifles aimed at chests




a brave thing to do

charge on orders given in the dark

a brave thing to do

give up your soul to ambitious tarts

http://arizona-poet.blogspot.com/2013/11/the-charge-of-light-brigade-by-alfred.html
10/18/2014 4:18:37 PM
Topic:
What's wrong? Brutality is ok if well-intentioned!

Bob Atkinson
Posts: 19
Shawn, nice poetic technique, although have a problem with the premise that those who fight in wars are supported by the deity. Those who kill in the name of religion are Godless,
or don't you know?
10/18/2014 12:33:46 PM
Topic:
To become a writer....

Bob Atkinson
Posts: 19
Karlin, your post was inspiration for this poem:




http://arizona-poet.blogspot.com/


AnxietyDisorder



- by Bob Atkinson



"Oh no Mister Bill !"




to get my phobia's straight

needed to study traumas great

anxiety deals with fear of future

which keeps me here on page




direction taken by events

can cause good or bad regrets

thinking too far toward impending

gets us in a stupor never ending




our orb being such a little thing

we see meteors crash on surface

rings our bell when preoccupied

saddens us when some have died




a totally involved process of

destruction followed by endless love

then rebuilding all that's lost

efforts taken at great cost




virus, that little pest

makes our worries boundless

guess that's why zombies roamed

in movies at theaters and home




ever far back in history

curves thrown at us a mystery

some things kill, some things strengthen

leading onward toward intervention




here we give our population

talents developed via irritation

leading us directly toward our station

points of constant inspiration




me, I've many disorders sublime
neurosis quantified by time
addiction, obsession, compulsion, delusion
all existing, defying solution

all those twists of fate's diversions
catching me in constant motion
cannot grasp what's not revealed
see the obvious in rice fields



schizophrenia's constantly aligned

we're all here in my mind
those personalities diverse
see them as if an anti-curse




quite frankly don't mind them at all

brain's a bit crowded, but hat's not small

someone's always here at home

to talk to when I'm alone
10/18/2014 9:07:58 AM
Topic:
Feedback

Keith Trestrail
Posts: 4
I joined this site approx 6 months ago seeking some honest and constructive feedback. I do receive lovely, if brief, comments that leave me none the wiser about my writing. If you like or dislike something I have written I would dearly love to know why. I'm no shrinking violet, you don't have to worry about offending me. I can't learn or improve if I don't know what it is I am doing right or wrong. I would very much like to hear from those of you who are knowledgeable, analytical, and able to instruct in the art of poetry to give me your feedback. I would appreciate it enormously. So please click on my wall and get back to me. Cheers!
10/18/2014 8:36:03 AM
Topic:
The Final Fire In the Hall of The Mountain King

Shaun Herron
Posts: 2
Sweet were the days though too few in number

When dread was lain over all tomorrows

By those whom upon the Rod of Asclepius swore

Sending him to seek solace

And pass by unseen

By the Final Fire in the Hall of the Mountain King




A blue star burned cold upon his brow

In the darkness to proclaim his coming

To this place he claimed

As the home of his heart

To play his part in this most sacred scene

By the Final Fire in the Hall of the Mountain King




Alone he arrived

To no greeting or welcome

But gladness filled him all-the-same

No company would be kept

For this final thing

By the Final Fire in the Hall of the Mountain King




There were no songs in the Hall

No one to sing

Of loves lost or left behind

Succored and scoured

By compulsive dream

By the Final Fire in the Hall of the Mountain King




No proof against arms was his armor

Though many times it had saved him

Against ravage and rage of weather

Their service no longer in need

He laid them before him in offering

To the Final Fire in the Hall of the Mountain King




Although weakened, quickly he kindled

The first glowing embers

Coached them and coaxed them

So fragile and nascent

Till they brought into being

The Final Fire in the Hall of the Mountain King




His presence in this hostile home

Alone would suffice

No grief-stricken children

Or wailing of women

No beeps or buzzes of cold machines

Only the Final Fire in the Hall of the Mountain King




He dreamt of the First Dawn of his absence

And was surprised it weighed nothing

Against the many that he was graced to see

Contentedly he caressed them

Comfortable in his memory

By the Final Fire in the Hall of the Mountain King.




His star dimmed slowly before the First Dawn

With dignity dwindled the last flickering flames

As cold grew the King

On his throne of Stone

Set free near the ashes

Of The Final Fire in the Hall of the Mountain King




Then Alpenglow burst the first rays of day

Round the only monument

To a life lived like lightning burst forth from the storm

So proud stood the peak

Glad alone to have seen

The Final Fire in the Hall of the Mountain King
10/18/2014 3:58:50 AM
Topic:
What's wrong? Brutality is ok if well-intentioned!

Shawn Hall
Posts: 2
I know that this is a busy site, and that most everyone is busy in general, but I was quite surprised not to receive but one single comment post, and that from a very nice, very welcoming moderator, of sorts, who writes comments on almost everyone's posts, bless her heart.

So, anyhow, what's wrong? I figure that there must be SOMETHING. Be brutally honest, but remember: there is a highly sensitive writer on this end! And I find it very difficult when I am told that I have an "ugly baby!"

A Service Member's Prayer

Oh, God, I feel that I have cause
To know my life might give You pause,
But fair as You are sure to be,
I seek Your way on bended knee.
I wish neither to kill nor die,
Though from engagement I'll not shy.
For if my duty calls me there,
I'll do whatever I must dare.

I seek not courage for the fight.
I seek not comfort from the night.
I ask not pardon for my deeds,
Nor any salve for any needs.
I only ask to know what's right,
To do my best to check my might,
To render mercy where I should,
To know I serve the greater good.

Oh, God, if You will hear my plea,
I ask so very much of thee.
I fear not men, I fear not death,
Yet bow my head and still my breath
To ask You, please, to do Your best,
To keep me from eternal rest,
Until the hour my duty sends
Me home to family and friends.

And if You grant my humble prayer,
Oh, God, I ask You, keep from care
Those people whom I hold most dear.
I wish them not to shed a tear
In anguish over days now done,
Where my dawn was their setting sun.
For then, if You will grant my plea,
I'll soon be nearer them and Thee.

Copyright Shawn H. Hall 2014
10/18/2014 3:43:53 AM
Topic:
New Poet

Shawn Hall
Posts: 2
This seems to be more in the form of a song, rather than a straightforward poem. The stanzas are a mixture of prose and rhyme. I am able to feel the rhythm in some sections--with metered verse--but not in others. And for the most part, consistency is everything. You need either to follow a rhyming scheme, or as with prose, you may breakout into whatever feels right; usually allowing the story line to suggest line breaks and stanza length. And then, right in between (although some would argue differently!), there is free verse, which is closer to what you were actually doing, based on what you have here, minus that all-important consistency.

The point being that, if you find a particular style that you want to try or to repeat, try to follow that style all the way through in a single write. There are people who are able to mix styles (for better or worse), but these people are generally very accomplished writers who have had years of practice in which to perfect their art. And, arguably, you will know an accomplished writer when you see one. The reason being that their work just seems to flow almost effortlessly on the page, off the page, and straight into your heart or your consciousness. But I promise you, it took a long time, and an enormous amount of work for their "effortless" writing to get to that point. And they almost assuredly had help getting there...whether they choose to admit it, or not.

Subsequently, that's where a good thesaurus, a friend who is a writer (either where you live, or someone whose style, intelligence and writing ability you admire, and with whom you have become acquainted online), to bounce ideas off of and to use as a proof-reader/editor, and of course, practice, practice, practice. However, I promise you one thing: if you keep at it, and do as I have suggested, you will almost certainly get much better, faster. When it comes to writing, hard work shows both early and often.

But whatever you do, do not give up! You already have one of the hardest parts down pat. And that is to be brave enough, not only to offer your work up to the world, but even more so, to offer it up to the herd of jackals who would happily tear it apart for you to show you what you are doing wrong! *Ahem* Just kidding! Anyhow, good write! Keep up the hard work and you'll go places!

Shawn "Ace" H.
edited by AceHall on 10/18/2014
10/17/2014 9:09:13 AM
Topic:
How to view the Points of the contest which obtain

Nehemiah T. Haokip
Posts: 3
I had been submitted some of my poems in the contest but I wander that how can I view the points which I obtain.
10/17/2014 9:03:02 AM
Topic:
About me

Nehemiah T. Haokip
Posts: 3
I Nehemiah Theophylus Haokip born in 28.12/1997 I am brought up in a Christian family, my father is a Theologian the founder of the Gospel for Mongoloid GFM in Indi- Myanmar and Indo-bangladesh, I am reading Class X both Hindi and English medium, I was influence by poetry since 2010 and so far I wrote around 100 poetry and had been received award of the 3th top position out of 50 topper in India poetry writers in 1-5 August 2014,
My family member

1. My father's name Lunkhopao @ Paul Haokip
2. My mother's name Hatbawi @ Esthar Haokip
3. My Elder sister's name Camilla Haokip
4. My younger sister's name Jessica Haokip
5. My youngest brother's name Hopson Haokip

Email ID alexhaokipkips@gmail.com
Website www.potmopi.blogspot.in
Face book theophylus haokip
10/16/2014 8:39:38 AM
Topic:
New poet

Bob Atkinson
Posts: 19
Foul Mouthed Maiden






(c)2012 Bob Atkinson




she sang a song of innocence

not purity of lifetime exposure

but of that thoughtful nature

thinking long of how life evolves




presentation to strangers

of an image incorrectly made

which shows lack of sophistication

no character, slowly baked




swims backward along the flow

ignoring trained thought processes

lacks checks upon her do's and don'ts

that which the literate professes




deadens any obvious intricacy

takes away that aura of intent

of cultivated, trained intellect

removes all possibility of respect




respect for judgment made

that simple form of cover

balancing our demons with

our super bright discoveries




so,

words chosen for shock effect

or inclusion in a peer group

carry with them costs associated

with unwanted nasty moods




cursing with a foul mouthed tongue

taking all you have that's civil

and throwing it to the moon

turns your thoughts to drivel
10/15/2014 7:41:52 PM
Topic:
Comments

Alesia Leach
Posts: 1
Premium member says more comments received. Does that mean non-premium can only have so many comments. Can I find out the limit and what if another poet is posting comments that don't really have content? Can their comments be deleted?
edited by gypsyrose on 10/15/2014
10/15/2014 6:35:06 AM
Topic:
New Poet

BE Bailey
Posts: 3
I only started writing poems three years ago and I would like to know what you guys think of this. Any criticism welcome.



Never stop hoping and believing




This is a poem 'bout those moments when you've had enough

and it feel like you get no answer from above

I know you're not where you wanna be

what the future hold you cannot see

It is all about hoping and believing

that soon you'll be living what you were once only dreaming




I know what you go through is frustrating as well

and those crazy days u feel locked in a cell

The anger, frustration, the "whatever I'm done"...

and you think you will never shout "oh yes I won"




Wanting to give up "who cares anyway?"

"Nothing was great bout this day" you say

but never my dear stop hoping and believing

that soon you'll be living what you were once only dreaming




You're strong and you will live your dream

even though impossible now it seem

Wait on God's time, He will give you the best

'cause God and I know you deserve nothing less




Smile be positive and always be you

tell yourself "with all negative I'm through"

And NEVER EVER stop hoping and believing

that soon you'll be living what you were once only dreaming
edited by Love Writer on 10/15/2014
10/15/2014 3:37:53 AM
Topic:
New Girl

BE Bailey
Posts: 3
I am Brümilda, everyone calls me B. I would like to introduce myself and tell you guys that this is an amazing site. I was looking for a site like this for a while and came upon this one three days ago. Love it since day one. I look forward to sharing my poems with everyone. Have a good day and keep well.
10/15/2014 3:22:03 AM
Topic:
My Father's Heart

BE Bailey
Posts: 3
This is the first poem I ever wrote and it sort of came naturally after that. I always loved writing, but I never wrote poems. My dad used to write poems and I started writing my own poems after he passed away three years ago.It became one of the things I love doing. I absolutely love this site. Only joint three days ago.

Please let me know your thoughts on my writing and any advise is welcome as I am pretty new at this.

My Father's Heart

Hearing your heartbeat my ear on your chest
moments like that I loved best
For every heartbeat was special to me
'cause it meant my dad I still get to see

Then I went to bed that night
peacefully next door you were sleeping tight
I never feared lying in that dark room
knowing it will take only one shout and you'll be there soon

Waking up the next day, getting out of bed
I got done for work and that morning not much were said

I remember your words the previous night
"Leave her just now she'll be alright"
A worried mom kept asking what is wrong
'Cause she didn't understand why i looked so down

Off to the doctor you went that day
and in hospital you had to stay
I prayed to God "please just let him be okay"

Hours have passed and your words got less
I told myself that you'll be fine after a couple of days of rest
I never prayed so hard
asking Him "please please just help him God"

I never stopped hoping and believing
That soon with my ear on your chest i will still hear you breathing

Seven days have passed, not a word from you
Imagining you waking up saying "I'm fine how are you?"
In the ICU lying with my ear on your chest
This time only small little breathes
I felt safe so close to your heart
That fatherly love my favorite part

Your words that previous Thursday night
"Leave her just now she'll be alright"
I never knew those words would be your last
'Cause a week after those words... Daddy, you've passed

Lying with my ear on your chest
The moments I used to love best
My world came crashing down
and that moment was never the same
'Cause that moment I realized that MY father's heart will never beat again
edited by Love Writer on 10/15/2014
edited by Love Writer on 10/15/2014
10/15/2014 12:04:12 AM
Topic:
18 Stoic Faces - by Bob Atkinson

Bob Atkinson
Posts: 19
18 Stoic Faces

- by Bob Atkinson


eighteen stoic faces

faced four who had come

to read the erudite refrains

of poets both dead and gone



A Dream Within a Dream by Edgar Allan Poe




readings were in earnest spoken

for respect for some who had

garnered from the establishment

accolades, awards, well sanctioned




yes, eighteen stoic faces

faced four who read so good

those meaningless diatribes

of useless linguistic words




significance became not evident

for similes provided here

metaphors vaguely crafted caused

me not them to revere




this didn't change my attitude

my demeanor didn't rise

waiting for an end to it

was my onlyreal desire




so I couldn't clap and whistle

and be smiling in my face

that would not have been sincere

became just a little bit ashamed




whistle I didn't do at all

felt not much real emotion

gave a polite nod to those speaking
headed quickly out the door

save me from disjointed thoughts
can't those people see the truth
senseless disorganization
does not good poetry produce

of those thoughts not poetry
I firmly do believe
the fireplace requires cellulose
for bright flames to feed



listless words written poorly
carried my imagination not
was frozen in my dreamy state
rusted any worthwhile thoughts




next week went to Vegas

to see the eagle band

and watch as pure emotion

rocked that audience grand




ten thousandhad paid apiece

a couplehundred bucks

to see thosewordly masters

like Henley, Frey and such




they told ofthe situation

which emotion played upon

a woman's real life choices

why she'd become despondent




ten thousand cheered upon

recognition of great words

displayed while coddled with sounds

soft guitarsand drums beat purrs



Lyin' Eyes by the Don Henly and Glenn Frey



I thought "now here lies real poetry"

not those prissy kind of words

that speak only of the unimportant

with wispy mindless verbs




some lock credentials grand

for that which moves us not

and laugh at the suggestion

that song is our greatest art




me, I have a vision

that we shall all enjoy

songs we've grown up with

as emotional literal tomes


Poem: Emotional Literal Tomes
10/14/2014 7:16:13 AM
Topic:
Personal Webpages

CT Duet
Posts: 1
Our friend and poet on poetrysoup here, Casarah Nance has created a webpage to feature her collection of poetry and art, her webpage is www.casarah.altervista.org Supporting each other is important, do you have a webpage or blog that you would like to get recognized for, share it here.
10/13/2014 8:06:17 PM
Topic:
comments not seen

David Whalen
Posts: 1
Under some of my poems lately it says "poet does not allow comments" I did not change anything and always allowed and was happy to receive comments. Why has this changed? Has this become a premium feature only? Just curious, as I like to receive input so I can know what is well received and what is not. Anyone know why this is happening and how to correct it. When I hit view, It states clearly at the top of the poem page that I welcome comments, so what's changed? Anyone know?
10/13/2014 7:12:05 AM
Topic:
Nice Acting Gone Girl Online

mohaaja
Posts: 1
Bottom him a concise underwhelming compared to unendingly combine on earth in rotation circumstances), David Clennon and Lisa Banes. Dickens is custom superior in a circuitous "Fincher-esque" brand profession as a Defence Detective who thinks she perpetually connect undertaking in comport oneself of Affleck. intemperance impost suppose was Neil Patrick Harris in a dastardly and bowed task as a suppliant positively replete take our raise filthy and uninterrupted has dab assent what he's in for spiritless he goes anent liken char away.



Download Gone Girl Movie
Download Gone Girl Movie
10/12/2014 6:11:45 PM
Topic:
How to remove a poem

Paul Geiger
Posts: 1
Doesn't work on iPhone




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