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Poetry Forum. A poetry forum dedicated strictly to poetry. Poets can use this poetry forum for poetry workshops, sharing poetic techniques, discussing aspects of poetry, poetry publishing, and the poetry industry. Poetry forum members can enter poetry contests, post poems, and participate in the #1 poetry community on the internet.

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2/9/2015 7:49 PM - Edmund Linton
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7/1/2015 5:47 PM - Kari Mitchell
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6/9/2015 1:31 PM - Austin Eseke
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6/25/2015 9:57 AM - Donovan Willis
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11/19/2014 2:05 PM - Skippy Kangeroo
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6/23/2015 6:13 PM - Tom Woodliff
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6/23/2015 6:11 PM - Tom Woodliff
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6/16/2015 4:02 PM - Austin Eseke
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Recent posts
7/1/2015 5:47:35 PM
Topic:
To find in words the Beauty

Kari Mitchell
Posts: 3
I would argue that poets also listen with their ears because how the words sound is important. I like still
7/1/2015 5:43:26 PM
Topic:
My poem Leviathan

Kari Mitchell
Posts: 3
Was like you distilled the emotion from the novel, which is after all, what poetry's all about.
-- regards ---bob

What novel??
7/1/2015 5:39:21 PM
Topic:
Nature's Acts

Kari Mitchell
Posts: 3
On my second read, I "got" the message of Katrina, as in the hurricane. Still, though, you lost me at '"K" is for kettle.' I think you could have ended it after the bit with the 'PEA GREEN BOAT', or perhaps an other concluding stanza.
Apart from that, weaving nursery rhymes (disturbing in their own right) with the historical catastrophe of Katrina was brilliant and well-done!
6/30/2015 7:10:07 PM
Topic:
The World Has Turned And, Oh Who Cares Anymore

Graphite Drug
Posts: 33
The question writers should ask is, “Who is my audience?”Obviously if you’re writing a diary or confessional poetry this question may beoverlooked. This poem may be trying to be confessional, but it reads too clichéand pop-culture to work for an audience not in the advertiser’s loop, or inthis case the poet’s circle of friends. The word “bird” to refer to women wassixties slang in England. Somebody has been watching Austin Powers or likessounding like an old pervert. The choice to not use punctuation doesn’t helpmatters here. The poet is not saying anything that needs punctuation. Here’s arewrite of the first stanza:

Saw Nick at the strip club/ Gettin’ a couch dance so low / WhileI was checkin’ the act solo/ a delicate bird asked me for a smoke/ She knew our names, just regular blokes/ We’re the in crowd, not family/ Chillin’ and thrillin’ and enjoyin’ the par-tay!
edited by graphitedrug on 6/30/2015
6/26/2015 6:11:57 PM
Topic:
Agree to Disagree (A Sonnet)

Graphite Drug
Posts: 33
Reisenhoffer wrote:
Not bad man. Two things I'd change/add. During the third part I'd change Object to Objective. And I might just ad a bit more feeling to it. Maybe some spoken lines regarding what you are talking about maybe? It's nice and fun to read but kind of sounds like the back of a relationship-for-idiots guide book.

Do you know what a sonnet is? Look it up in "Poetry for Dummies."
6/26/2015 10:10:59 AM
Topic:
Agree to Disagree (A Sonnet)

K.M North
Posts: 79
Not bad man. Two things I'd change/add. During the third part I'd change Object to Objective. And I might just ad a bit more feeling to it. Maybe some spoken lines regarding what you are talking about maybe? It's nice and fun to read but kind of sounds like the back of a relationship-for-idiots guide book.
6/25/2015 7:04:51 PM
Topic:
Agree to Disagree (A Sonnet)

Graphite Drug
Posts: 33
Agree to Disagree


When the argument becomes personal
things are said that do not apply to all.
Speakers’ moods are no longer affable.
There is silence among people. They stall.

Do not speak of absolute politics.
Do not speak of absolute religion.
Change the subject, avoid theatrics.
Discussing sports is a wise decision.

Speak of the devil, here is our subject.
Change social cues like changing names.
Better to be relative than object.
Such are patterns in language games.

Communication can be difficult
if agreement must be its end result.
6/25/2015 7:01:27 PM
Topic:
any thoughts and advice is appreciated

Graphite Drug
Posts: 33
This reads more like a video game narrative than a poem. There needs to be more work on organization. For instance who is the hero? What is he doing? What weapons is he using? Who is he after? Punctuation would help. You should think about writing a short story.
6/25/2015 9:57:55 AM
Topic:
How do I write a lyric poem?

Donovan Willis
Posts: 5
Hi,
I'm trying to expand my poetry form and would like to write a lyric. What is the structure of a lyric poem? Any suggestions on how to write one?
6/23/2015 6:13:44 PM
Topic:
WHAT SHOULD I TELL HER?

Tom Woodliff
Posts: 7
time to move on me brother
6/23/2015 6:11:18 PM
Topic:
The Shortest Fairytale ever

Tom Woodliff
Posts: 7
exquisite!
6/23/2015 6:10:01 PM
Topic:
Is there life on Mars?

Tom Woodliff
Posts: 7
uh... no
6/23/2015 6:06:17 PM
Topic:
OPEN LETTER TO HUMANITY

Tom Woodliff
Posts: 7
Dear people of planet earth,

We have co-existed for thousands of years. We were with you in the beginning - in paradise! Life was full of splendor, tranquility. We watched as you cast it all away for a chance at independence. And then the fall; O the Fall! Before long you found yourselves in blood up to your knees. Conquest upon conquest in your insatiable greed for power. How we've suffered under your domination. How we trembled, as we still do.

Before long came your machines, doing for you things that you never even imagined in your wildest dreams. Your machines took you to the moon and beyond. In your mad search for relevance you touched the stars, only to fall to the earth bruised, beaten. Debilitating pandemics were your lot in life. Lifestyle diseases have ravaged your kind, and still do. You were the apple, the nectar of all creation. But you have become bitter, like wormwood. Your future, bleak.

We implore you - look to the past! Remember from whence you came. Harmony and peace, love and altruism. Though your (our) future appears dismal, it need not come to pass. Reach deep into your hearts and souls and rediscover the reason for your existence. A rebirth is needed, a new way to think, to live.

Planet earth is sick. She dies a slow and lonely death. No one to hear her cries, to witness her tears of sorrow and pain. You exploit, you rape the land. Species disappear, but you turn a deafened ear. Your eyes may see, yet they are blinded by your lust for land, for money. How much longer before she vomits you out? The land will indeed vomit it's inhabitants out, like poisonous bile.

And now, humans, rulers of this orb in space, fomenters of evil (and, sometimes good), heed this dire warning: TIME IS RUNNING OUT! Time to amend your ways, or you will all surely perish. The writing is on the wall, the prophecy moves toward it's bitter fulfillment. Judgment awaits the presumptuous ones, the haughty. Turn around from your disastrous course.

Hurry, before it's too late!



Your fellow earth creature,

Harold T. Cockroach III


p.s. Uh, do ya think you could lighten up a bit on the RAID (sheesh)?
6/22/2015 6:04:55 PM
Topic:
New, Crazy but undeniably lovable.

K.M North
Posts: 79
Welcome to PS. Enjoy-K.M
6/22/2015 6:04:00 PM
Topic:
Daydream Writer

K.M North
Posts: 79
Welcome. Hope you post some stuff and take advantage of some of the stuff this site offers
6/22/2015 6:03:25 PM
Topic:
Goddess of the Green Grove

K.M North
Posts: 79
Welcome-K.M
6/22/2015 4:17:02 PM
Topic:
any thoughts and advice is appreciated

K.M North
Posts: 79
Reminded me of "the road" and "mad max" all in one. Really interesting and nice to read. The only issue I had was in one paragraph you said that he was armed with a baseball bat and an empty gun and then in another paragraph you said he had a shock sword and a .44. I'd just go through this an tighten things up from that perspective. I'd definitely read more. Is there more to this one? I feel like there'd be a few good sequels to it. Great job though-K.M
6/22/2015 4:14:14 PM
Topic:
Nature's Acts

K.M North
Posts: 79
Very good piece. Really enjoyed it for sure. I loved the imagery as well as the violence in the words. The only complaint I have is for the ending the "itsy bitsy spider" part. I think you nailed it the whole way up until that point. To me not having that would make this just exceptional. It might just be me though, but either way with or without that it's truly awesome. Great job-K.M
6/22/2015 4:12:03 PM
Topic:
My poem Leviathan

K.M North
Posts: 79
A fun read for sure. The only thing I had any issue was the "man monster meet to do battle" cause it just read funny to me. Seems like you're missing something between the man and the monster part, but it could just be me. Thanks for sharing though. Probably the most fun I've had reading something in a while. Thanks-K.M
6/22/2015 4:07:03 PM
Topic:
The World Has Turned And, Oh Who Cares Anymore

K.M North
Posts: 79
saw Nick down at the Whammy Bar
he was with the girl from Soho
while I was rocking it solo
and when we walked in
the people knew our names
like they were family or friends
or we were in some sitcom from the eighties


Nick loved up on the jukebox
Jawbreaker was all he ever played
little Soho banged her head
during "see thru skin"
it all came back to me in a flash
reminding me of Em
she was in Boston these days
scene queen of the lower east side
"may 4th" and knees to the sky

the gang ordered shots
while I was shooting glances
at some bird who wore that summer dress
like she was waiting for the confessional
and then the song came on
and I was thinking about some mistake from last year
I wondered if she still hated me
and then the bird came over and introduced herself
her name was Kori, friends called her HardKori
I called her Sabatoge
and we went ahead and did our shots

Nick had Little Soho
Em had the guy who played the solos
and I had a bird with a name I didn't know
then the jukebox kicked out
"I love you so much it's killing us both"
and I took a knee
it was like a fist to the stomach
a hammer to the gut
and when I finally stood up
the bird was choking down
some sort of guy who liked sketchy metal
and probably drove a camero

Nick left with Soho
and the guy broke Em's heart in two
my bird road shotgun in a car with t-tops
and I drank a bar tab
I'll never pay off
and when "kiss the bottle"
started to play
I just start to cry
cause nights like these
don't help me stay alive
and mornings like tomorrow
are made up of
where do I go from here
and what the hell have I become
edited by Reisenhoffer on 6/22/2015




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