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Poetry Forum. A poetry forum dedicated strictly to poetry. Poets can use this poetry forum for poetry workshops, sharing poetic techniques, discussing aspects of poetry, poetry publishing, and the poetry industry. Poetry forum members can enter poetry contests, post poems, and participate in the #1 poetry community on the internet.

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New to PoetrySoup? Introduce yourself here. Tell us something about yourself.
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How do I...?
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PoetrySoup Notes
Info and comments from the PoetrySoup Team.
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12/28/2014 1:51 PM - BONNIE Hollywood-Cutts
Poetry Critique
Be Gentle
Post here if you're new to receiving a critique and you want "gentle" feedback on your poem. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
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223
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1/22/2015 1:15 PM - Janet Cervenka
High Critique
For poets who want unrestricted constructive criticism. This is NOT a vanity workshop. If you do not want your poem seriously critiqued, do not post here. Constructive criticism only. PLEASE Only Post One Poem a Day!!!
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623
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1/26/2015 10:24 AM - Bob Atkinson
Poetry Talk
Writing Poetry
Ways to improve your poetry. Post your techniques, tips, and creative ideas how to write better.
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Poetry Everything
Discuss your favorite poems, poets, and poetry books - analysis, ideas, hidden meanings, random thoughts, etc.
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Looking for a Poem
Can't find a poem you've heard once? Looking for a poem for a special person or an occasion? Ask other member for help.
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7/9/2014 10:42 AM - Nancy Zapf
Outside the Bowl
Post information about other useful poetry related websites and contests. Also report poetry scams.
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11/19/2014 2:05 PM - Skippy Kangeroo
Non-Poetry Talk
Love and Romance
Don't Post Poetry Here!!! Seeking relationship advice, romantic ideas or just want to express your feeling - Post Here!
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9/30/2014 1:54 PM - Jennifer M.
Fun and humor
Don't Post Poetry Here!!! Everything to make us smile - anecdotes, stories, fun things to do, etc. But NOT Poetry.
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I just need to talk...
Don't Post Poetry Here!!! Talk about anything or need a shoulder to cry on? Share your thoughts and emotions here:
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11/30/2014 5:51 PM - mazhar butt
Publishing
Publishers
Know of any good publishers? Tell us about them here.
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12/13/2014 12:02 AM - Kate Ginsberg
How to...
Have you published a book. Tell others how you did it.
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11/23/2014 2:50 AM - Jamie Girl
Self-Publishing
How do I do it myself?
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What's going on
Forum users online 155   Forum members online 0   Forum guests 155

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Recent posts
1/26/2015 7:05:47 PM
Topic:
Avatar

Edwin Hofert
Posts: 1
How do I place my picture where it belongs instead of the image provided?
1/26/2015 10:24:52 AM
Topic:
18 Stoic Faces - by Bob Atkinson

Bob Atkinson
Posts: 65
Distorted Syntax

- by Bob Atkinson



Nicholson B. Adams




"... those who, not favoured by genius, sought to follow him, could imitate his technical devices, but they produced distorted syntax, high-flown metaphors,exaggerated bad taste ..." NicholsonB. Adams




tell me truly do you believe

in what these people do?

words of disjointed symmetry

held for a world to view




meaning boxed in a corner

or vaporized in pain

some wonderment of thought process

sent down a sewer drain




would not here a problem lie

but for opportunity lost in motion

some overburdened calcified

works of a confused notion




my opinion, well researched

causes me to believe

we shouldn't demean our genre'

by writing on end of sleeve
1/26/2015 3:34:24 AM
Topic:
New to Poetry Soup, hello.

Kirsten Mackie
Posts: 1
Hi there I am new to Poetry Soup, please take a moment to check out my work, I look forward to your response.
I am from Scotland originally, I grew up in Edinburgh. I have lived in Cape Town South Africa for two years now. With my partner (love of my life gorgeous Afrikaner) JP Vorster we produce a popular weekly fringe variety show at the legendary entertainment venue Mercury Live and Lounge. I also coordinate Artsreach, non-profit outreach organisation developing literacy through the arts.
Before reaching the Southern hemisphere I spent the better part of a year living in Sarajevo, Bosnia i Hercegovina, where, among other great experiences, I had the chance to perform at the Sarajevo War Theater SARTR in 2012.
I look forward to meeting some other Poetry Soupers, all the best,
Miss Kiki
(Kirsten Mackie)
1/26/2015 1:53:58 AM
Topic:
hello everyone

Austin Eseke
Posts: 4
Its austin eseke again,pls take a moment to check out my new poems(competition) and (my love) you will be happy you did.
1/25/2015 11:03:19 AM
Topic:
The Battle of Borodino - by Bob Atkinson

Bob Atkinson
Posts: 65
Suspicion of Ill Will

(c)2015 Bob Atkinson



Terrorism



was here in an open rage

I saw you not with mercy's grace

I saw you openly regress

to violence of innate anti-progress




where greed devoured your good senses

where lust amended your pretenses

where animosity peered through your eyes

and seeped into your eager lies




how can you push that idea upon

another while deriding us

how will you justify your charge

when inhuman actions you discharge




take your ideas back to your cave

leave us to present our worldly page

one which doesn't fight and maim

one which lets ideas expand




ideas which garner progress toward

peace of mankind, a simple thought

something you in barbarity leave

wanting for our time of grief
1/24/2015 8:06:56 PM
Topic:
Motionless by Amar Wills

Amar Wills
Posts: 1
"Motionless"

Malevolent notions masked making moment’s standstill.

Overturned by odd deeds oblivious to oneself.

Time ticking away quite tactfully to its own tune.

Inadvertently impaired by inattentive inhabitants in life.

Objectively offset by unfulfilled ordinances.

Never nullified by the norms of nomenclature.

Lackluster for those who lavishly live.

Endlessly epitomized with elders thoughts in mind.

Seemingly snared and stagnant by satire of sapiens.

So as to surrender salvation it stands serenely steadfast.
edited by Amarcwills2 on 1/25/2015
1/22/2015 1:15:32 PM
Topic:
I welcome your feedback!

Janet Cervenka
Posts: 4
Overall well written. Maybe try changing S2 Ln 3 to "no room in such a place" so the word is not repeated within the line.
1/22/2015 1:10:36 PM
Topic:
Dolly Voodoo

Janet Cervenka
Posts: 4
Put some breaks here and there and tighten some of the language a bit. Get rid of the ands that start sentences, they are just adding to the word overuse. Also put a stanza break where thought changes. I read several times though and am not sure where I would put them so the "run" does not slow down. some of the line breaks look a bit unnatural but that may be because of spacing here. Use them to pull your reader to your next line or end them when you want to slow down.
1/22/2015 12:57:34 PM
Topic:
Please help me to improve this "Prayer" poem

Janet Cervenka
Posts: 4
First I'd tell you to take your couplets and joint them into stanzas. All of the breaks contribute to the choppiness you mentioned. Also are you really set on "fixing" this poem, or are you willing to let this rest and thoughts from a day and use it elements to create something stronger yet different? You have a couple of problems here. The first is that you do no have a structured meter to the lines. The syllable count is all over the place and it feels like the breaks are there just to satisfy the rhyme scheme. You have forced the words for the sake of rhyme. Also look at your punctuation. There are places that are the end of a sentence and you used it and others where you have not. To punctuate or not? That is up to you but I go for punctuate faithfully in this piece. Also look and if you had to restructure a line in an archaic language form to get it to fit, it is adding to the choppiness. I would probably do a complete rewrite of this and decide if I wanted to keep this structure of use something totally different. Sometimes writes are just my daily diary. If you want examples of lines rewritten or specific changes, message me.
1/22/2015 12:35:46 PM
Topic:
Hello

Janet Cervenka
Posts: 4
I am looking for a second poetry home. I am not a new writer and prefer honest critique to comments like "Great poem!" which, while are nice, are not really feedback that I can use. Some of my best poetry have been written from challenge lists where people give me unrelated words and I just write. I also tend to spew anger in poetic form and its a great outlet. I have several chap books written but have never taken the time to publish. One of these days. Please drop by and say 'Hi' I always give critique for critique as well as a thank you to acknowledge I've ready yours
1/21/2015 9:41:54 PM
Topic:
18 Stoic Faces - by Bob Atkinson

Bob Atkinson
Posts: 65
The Emperor Has No Clothes


- by Bob Atkinson



Emperor's New Clothes


bright with pomp, circumstance


he stands proud on center stage


apparently anointed king of words


by the queen's simplistic charade






credentials stuffed in a corner


to tell all of his talents strong


what's missing?


semblance of understanding thought






why and where it comes from


what and who creates


that magical transformation


of a mind's internal state






as emotional content of literature


poetry's power does equate


to bombs and bullets of weak minded


those so thoroughly debased






beginning now we'll utilize


all social tools at our command


and begin to plant that growing seed


that produces worthwhile man
1/21/2015 9:41:53 PM
Topic:
18 Stoic Faces - by Bob Atkinson

Bob Atkinson
Posts: 65
The Emperor Has No Clothes


- by Bob Atkinson



Emperor's New Clothes


bright with pomp, circumstance


he stands proud on center stage


apparently anointed king of words


by the queen's simplistic charade






credentials stuffed in a corner


to tell all of his talents strong


what's missing?


semblance of understanding thought






why and where it comes from


what and who creates


that magical transformation


of a mind's internal state






as emotional content of literature


poetry's power does equate


to bombs and bullets of weak minded


those so thoroughly debased






beginning now we'll utilize


all social tools at our command


and begin to plant that growing seed


that produces worthwhile man
1/21/2015 8:05:16 PM
Topic:
Please help me to improve this "Prayer" poem

Melinda Ponce
Posts: 2
I wrote this several years ago when feeling overwhelmed by the sheer number of friends needing prayer. I just recently found it again and would like to improve it. It feels choppy to me, especially towards the end. Where, how do I start to fix it? Thanks in advance for any pointers.



96 800x600 Normal 0 false false false EN-US JA X-NONE /* Style Definitions */table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-priority:99; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:Calibri;}Is there never any end to prayer requests?
Hurting souls and broken breasts?

How can I this day
Make time for one more friend to pray?

Yet as you give me moments here and there
You remind me to lift my friends in prayer.

I stagger beneath these over whelming needs
To survive I MUST to you go with their pleas.

May I ever be faithful to pray for each
As your son did his disciples teach

For illness of heart and soul and mind
To each one of them be kind

Wisdom give to all who call
On you, the greatest wisdom giver of all

Broken bodies, hurting hearts
Care givers who must do their parts


On you I each petition render
The great physician and heart ache mender

How deep your love for us that we
May lift our prayer to you and then the answer see

For I know that until our ties to this life you sever
Prayer requests will cease, never

Humble the heart within my breast
And may I never tire of prayer requests

And I thank you for allowing me to pray
For each of these my friends and family today

And I thank thee too for friends who on you call
When I ask that on my behalf they on their knees would fall

Yes, prayer is a privilege rich and sweet
How beautiful it is to kneel at your feet
1/21/2015 5:16:47 PM
Topic:
The Battle of Borodino - by Bob Atkinson

Bob Atkinson
Posts: 65
CircleYour Wagons

- by Bob Atkinson



War Wagon




circle your wagons when under attack

sweeten defenses, they're coming back

tally your bullets for open season

rally your troopers with heavy breathing




enemy's near, no safety here

transform what defenses you can with good senses

dig deep so we don't have our bottoms showing pant-zes




find in possession what arms you can grab

enter all protests through proper channels

rant, rave and stammer some orders

mind travel to home to give mom some hope




walk the perimeter for last minute dances

carry your burden, open field glasses

rally your squad, enhance their chances

saddle your burden with open quick glances




can you believe there lives in this world

those who hate love to the point of disturbance

allowing their minds to fill with rage

enough to destroy the whole human race
1/20/2015 1:42:24 AM
Topic:
Kjøp en og gi You: Inside Toms Shoes

jerryreding
Posts: 4
Toms Shoes lover kundene at hver gang de kjøper et equiparable av selskapets toms sko, alevoso det gi et similar til et barn my partner and i et fattig land.

Och har gjort selskapet unti en $ 100-millioner bedrift som har solgt ?nnu mer enn to millioner sko i løpet av dom siste seks år. Costs Clinton har kalt living room 35 år gamle grunnleggeren av Toms, Blake Mycoskie, en av de fr?mst interessante gründere han noensinne har møtt.

Mr. Mycoskie, men sier at damien ikke kjører et selskap. Han sier at kent i s****en for en global bevegelse ved å utnytte kraften toms sko barn til forbrukerne å gjøre godt. Og han har en entusiastisk følgende. Toms campus klubber har spiret på høgskoler rundt om i landet, og årlig markedsføringskampanjer trekke utbredt oppmerksomhet til fattigdoms ridd nasjoner.

I han utgaven av Tiny Kindle, undersøker Amy Costello hva som skjer med via to millioner toms sko salg har forpliktet seg until å donere til sobre trengende. Er Toms "en for en" nærme seg en smart og effektiv form for filantropi? Hvem tjener, og hvordan selskapet bestemme hvem sine begunstigede er?

Du får høre hvordan Toms arbeider we flere land samt fra filantropi eksperter og of entreprenør i den tredje verden toms norge billig som forkastet Toms tilnærming fordi han mener det vil gjør vondt, ikke hjelper, folk prøver å få selvforsyning.

Velkommen til å besøke min hjemmeside: http://www.ntomso.com/
edited by jerryreding on 1/20/2015
1/19/2015 3:55:07 PM
Topic:
What is your style?

Jennifer Bui
Posts: 1
Haiku is my best style, but I do free verse more often.
1/18/2015 4:01:56 PM
Topic:
Hello;

Autumn Matthews
Posts: 1
I'm Autumn and I've only very recently joined Poetry Soup.
I suppose I've been writing for a long time, but I've just begun publishing my poetry (if only to receive suggestions and/ or critique).
I'm happy to give you opinions on your works, just drop me a message and I'll get back to you.
That's all from me,
Autumn Matthews
1/17/2015 5:04:24 PM
Topic:
Paradox of Civilization (Poem)

Graphite Drug
Posts: 14
Thanks much. Wasn't trying for a purpose, just thought such a place seemed a paradox in the Jordanian Desert. The history of continents across the Atlantic seems very elusive to American pop-culture. Ewwww, did I just write pop-. . .
1/17/2015 8:34:28 AM
Topic:
The Pickup Truck - by Bob Atkinson

Bob Atkinson
Posts: 65
ThePickup Truck

- by Bob Atkinson



Pickup Truck


they fill a need within us

for utility prearranged

an open disposition to

move toward man creation




that soul of central power

mimic of the deity proud

construction in purest form

with that hammer loud




we ride as if utility

was written on our chests

pompous in our nature

towering high over the rest




we use them to commute

not good for an environment

yet when we are accosted

by those with better sense




we stand as if indignant

"don't take from me my pride"

never in a thought process

do we let sensible be our guide




so, there in that confused state

those green with solar shields

waste resources every day

with bulkiness of their wheels

***********************
http://arizona-poet.blogspot.com/2014/10/the-pickup-truck-by-bob-atkinson.html
1/16/2015 11:23:27 AM
Topic:
Paradox of Civilization (Poem)

Bob Atkinson
Posts: 65
Three cheers Graphite, a poem with purpose. Good deal.
Bob




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