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Poet Limericks - At least one stinker

Blog Posted:4/27/2013 12:26:00 PM
I had some fun writing about the poets here in the form of limericks.
I entered one of them in PD's bad poem contest.
Can you guess which one?

Get Your Red Hot Frank

There was a guy named Herrera 
Who wrote poetry in a caldera
More often than not
His poems were so hot
You had to rub on some aloe vera

French Tickler

There is a poet named Lamoureux 
Who can multi-task just like a pro
He tickled his wife
To an inch of her life
While he calmly composed a rondeau

Craigish Corn

There is a fine poet named Craig 
Whose rhymery never is vague
Though he may be Cornish
He is never forlornish
Cause he takes first prize at The Hague

(forced rhyme, but better than the plague)

Carry On, Carrie

She's the queen of poetical meter 
But you just have to know how to treat her
Unlike Carrie Nation
She'll take a libation
Then spew out some amazing vers libre

Tanned de Mams

There was a young poet named Mandy
Whose meter and rhyme was quite dandy
She consumed a zucchini
In her purple bikini
And got all the geezers quite randy

(just kidding!)

Give Me Moto Guzzi

She composes her verse in Jacuzzi
But her rhymery never is cutesy
In a poetry slam
Just yield and say ma'am
Or get flattened by sweet Debbie Guzzi

(just kidding!)

Moto Guzzi is an Italian motorcycle brand, in addition "moto" in Japanese means "more", which is what I want, more Guzzi.

Roux Bin Day

Sunday's my quiet bloomin' snooze day
And Monday's my all Cuban blues day
But the next day I go
To read a poet I know
I call it Good Boy Ruben Tuesday

Harry's A Pock O' Lips

The Four Horsemen come and it's scary
As they raze the towns and the prairie
Though all do abhor
The Horseman named War
There's one that I like that's named Harry

(just kidding Harry!)

Andrea, Lovely Meter Made

There is a sweet poet named Dietrich
Whose prosody sure is a neat trick
I swoon like a lamb at her
Iambic pentameter
And laugh at her indiscreet limerick

April 1, 2013

PD's Contests

For her contests, I always enjoy her 
Make her laugh, but never annoy her
If she gives you a nine
Like she did some of mine
It's the poem, not the Poet Destroyer

March 11, 2013

English Lit

There is a sweet poet named Johnson 
Who roasted my poem with a Ronson
If ever you spurn her
She'll turn on the burner
And toast you clear to Wisconsin

(just kidding, Joyce!)

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  1. Date: 4/28/2013 2:19:00 AM
    I love JOyce's rhyming comment!!! And hey, we do not have to blog about our contest entries, do we, Roy? In any event, I found your blog on worst poems to be the most entertaining to date!

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  1. Date: 4/28/2013 2:18:00 AM
    so you say there is one for PD/that is bad? But which one could it be?/ I think I will curse/ if the one that is worst/ is the cute one you wrote about me!

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  1. Date: 4/27/2013 10:31:00 PM
    LOL! Thanks for the honor, Roy! Roux bin.

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  1. Date: 4/27/2013 4:36:00 PM
    And now that the wrong has been righted... I'm sorry for being so slighted. ..A lim'rik from you.. And from Carrie too.. Has calmed me and keeps me delighted.

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    Jerden Avatar Roy Jerden Date: 4/27/2013 4:39:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    This is great! Hey! We could just do all our comments this way, no?
  1. Date: 4/27/2013 4:15:00 PM
    Roy, always an honor to be considered anyway or anywhere within your creative world, and since you're 2 years older---thanks Dad!!!

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  1. Date: 4/27/2013 2:54:00 PM think maybe two stinkers are the men limericks......Ruben, and Harry......but we forgive you as long as they are funny!!!!! (and yes........they all made the grade!)

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    horsman Avatar harry horsman Date: 4/28/2013 4:49:00 AM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    love you too Carrie
    O. Avatar Ruben O. Date: 4/27/2013 10:46:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    ; )
  1. Date: 4/27/2013 2:51:00 PM
    There is a sweet lady named Joyce/ Who scanned all the blogs of her choice/ She read Jerden's limericks/ But her name wasn't in it/ This poet is raising her voice!! LOL!!

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  1. Date: 4/27/2013 2:15:00 PM
    There was a young fellow called Jerden For whom writing wasn't a burden. He wrote limericks On heroes and hicks. But on me has never conferred one.

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    Jerden Avatar Roy Jerden Date: 4/27/2013 3:32:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    Ask and ye shall receive! Carrie took away half of the rhymes already! ;)

My Past Blog Posts

Thanks for your support
Date Posted: 6/3/2015 6:42:00 AM
Hosting multiple open contests.
Date Posted: 5/12/2015 8:23:00 PM
A Sonnet for Pansy
Date Posted: 5/5/2015 8:50:00 AM
My story was published this month
Date Posted: 5/2/2015 9:09:00 PM
Pi Day 2015
Date Posted: 3/13/2015 3:05:00 PM
Foodies - Part 2
Date Posted: 1/7/2015 11:30:00 AM
East Jesus Contest Judged
Date Posted: 1/2/2015 9:21:00 AM
Happy New Year to the World of Poets
Date Posted: 12/31/2014 6:23:00 PM
Merry Christmas to the World of Poets
Date Posted: 12/25/2014 5:54:00 AM
Foodies - Part 1
Date Posted: 12/20/2014 2:01:00 PM
How kids perceive their grandparents
Date Posted: 12/19/2014 5:55:00 AM
Got Writer's Block?
Date Posted: 12/6/2014 8:10:00 AM
Clean and Clever Limerick Contest Update
Date Posted: 11/17/2014 7:51:00 AM
My First Short Story - Accepted for publication
Date Posted: 11/2/2014 6:46:00 PM
Happy Halloween
Date Posted: 10/31/2014 7:18:00 AM
Non-Christian Poetry Contest Update
Date Posted: 10/19/2014 9:05:00 AM
New Contest - Religious Poetry: Non-Christian
Date Posted: 10/5/2014 6:40:00 AM
Date Posted: 9/30/2014 10:57:00 AM
The Pedicure Virgin
Date Posted: 9/11/2014 8:19:00 PM
How to make an image out of a long poem
Date Posted: 9/3/2014 12:58:00 PM
How to do a scansion of your poem to verify the meter
Date Posted: 8/19/2014 6:03:00 PM
Too Subtle?
Date Posted: 8/15/2014 1:39:00 PM
New Feature -Poet's Notes About the Poem
Date Posted: 8/2/2014 12:31:00 PM
Free Verse: Start here or finish here
Date Posted: 7/21/2014 7:04:00 PM
Bogus Entries in Contests
Date Posted: 7/19/2014 6:46:00 AM

My Recent Poems

Date PostedPoemTitleFormCategories
8/23/2015 Outhouse Blues Rhymehumor,parody,
7/21/2015 First World Food Problems Limerickfood,satire,
7/6/2015 The Waning of Dreams Coupletdepression,sad,wine,
5/26/2015 Poetic Ambitions Quatrainart,poems,poetry,
5/4/2015 Pansy Carpenter Rhymehistory,
4/25/2015 The Full Monty Python Limerickhumor,
4/17/2015 English Lit Rhymehumor,
4/10/2015 Scratch Rhymechildhood,humor,nostalgia
2/22/2015 Steamed Buns Limerickhumor,
1/12/2015 Punxsutawney Phil Speaks Limerickhumor,
12/24/2014 Santa's Little Helper Limerickchristmas,humorous,
12/18/2014 How to Make Money with Poetry Limerickhumor,poems,poetry,
12/4/2014 Saint Nicholas Clerihewchristmas,humor,
11/29/2014 But I Must Stay Villanellesad,
11/29/2014 The Pedicure Virgin Prosehumor,
11/14/2014 One Tolkien Over the Line Rhymetribute,
11/5/2014 Message of the Moth Quatrainangst,longing,
10/30/2014 Just Another Routine Day Monorhymedeath,
10/25/2014 Pi Day Rhymehumor,
10/25/2014 Go For It Carpe Dieminspirational,
10/15/2014 Halloween on the Dark Side of Town Rhymeholiday,satire,
9/22/2014 Andrea Dietrich Clerihewtribute,
9/15/2014 The Empty Quarter Alliterationearth,nature,stars,
8/31/2014 Bad Goldilocks Abecedarianhumorous,
8/23/2014 Matryoshkan Multiverse Haibunhumor,
8/10/2014 The New One Blank versedark,
8/5/2014 Piki Tupp and Poteeta Way Quatrainchild,children,
7/22/2014 A Brush of Wings Versebird,
7/16/2014 Great A'Tuin Haibundeath,journey,stars,
7/13/2014 Blood on the Saddle Limerickfunny,vacation,
7/8/2014 Willow: A Fable Rhymechildren,death,dream,fant
6/30/2014 Ragnarok: The Storm Epyllionweather,
6/28/2014 Dante's Path Quatrainspiritual,
6/11/2014 Bill's Drill Limerickhumorous,
5/26/2014 Albert Einstein Clerihewhumorous,science,
5/22/2014 John Cougar Mellencamp Clerihewbio,humorous,
5/19/2014 Same Old Soup Quatrainpoetry,satire,
5/14/2014 Into the Sunlight Haikunature,
5/9/2014 Januaries Haikunature,
5/7/2014 Jonah Falcon He's Not Limerickfunny,
5/6/2014 The Well Traveled Linguist Limerickhumorous,
5/5/2014 Raise the Mast Limerickhumorous,
5/4/2014 Are you glad to see me or is that just a wrinkle Limerickage,funny,
5/2/2014 The Devil Can Cite Scripture For His Purpose Rhymehate,religion,slam,
5/1/2014 On Conspiracy Theories Sonnetphilosophy,
4/28/2014 Tongue Oil Limerickfunny,
4/28/2014 Red Moon Limerickfunny,
4/28/2014 Faux News Rhymeslam,
4/24/2014 Concerning Human Understanding Blank versephilosophy,
4/1/2014 The Thunderous Wonderous Electric Toy Train Rhymechristmas,nostalgia,
3/18/2014 Ignominious Exit Rhymehumorous,
3/11/2014 Premature Exoneration Limerickholiday,humor,
2/28/2014 Going Gigging Rhymefishing,
2/10/2014 A Series of Unfortunate Darwin Awards Limerickdeath,humorous,silly,
2/7/2014 What Can I Do Sonnetabsence,death,fear,
1/29/2014 The Earth Abides Quatrainnatural disasters,nature,
1/23/2014 Ancient Dance Sonnetlove,
1/21/2014 Happy Hour Iambic Pentameterdrink,relationship,satire
1/7/2014 San Saba Springtime Sonnetnature,spring,
12/28/2013 The Whittlers Cowboygrowing up,nostalgia,
12/19/2013 Redneck Santa Rhymechristmas,parody,
12/17/2013 The Tale of the China Poblana Epichistory,
6/13/2013 Ode on a Japanese Commode Rhymehumorous,parody,
5/24/2013 The Fruits of their Labors Free versepolitical,
5/23/2013 Damaged Goods Quatrainabuse,
5/21/2013 White Trash Nostalgia Quatraingrowing up,
5/15/2013 The Conceit of Poetry Coupletphilosophy,
4/26/2013 Empyreal Ecstasy Quatrainnature,night,stars,
4/24/2013 Bordeaux Rouge Limerickhumorous,
4/18/2013 head typist Quatrainhumorous,writing,
4/14/2013 The Roughneck Song Rhymeday,drink,red,song,work,
3/23/2013 Tiger's Wood Limericksports,
3/20/2013 A Couple for the Ages Sonnethumorous,
3/17/2013 Bambino, Bambina Limerickbaby,
3/11/2013 The Treachery of Images ekphrasisart,image,me,
3/8/2013 Pearl of La Paz Sonnetdeath,grief,
2/17/2013 All Hat and No Cattle Cowboycowboy,humorous,old,time,
2/10/2013 Dark Temptress Sonnetfood,humorous,passion,
2/10/2013 Three Pills Didacticlife,me,philosophy,truth,
1/30/2013 Icebox Days Rhymechildhood,growing up,humo
1/26/2013 The Angel Inside Rhymeallegory,angel,art,beauti
1/22/2013 Call Me Tex Cowboycowboy,home,humorous,me,n
1/10/2013 Bobcat Moon Rhymeautumn,friendship,loss,mo
12/9/2012 Six Man Dance Rhymeautumn,football,nostalgia
11/18/2012 La Bejarena Rhymeangel,beauty,death,histor
8/27/2012 Kiss of the Eagle Rhymeadventure,space,travel,
8/23/2012 Delicacy of Leaves Rhymehappiness,nature,time,
8/10/2012 Keep It Turnin' to the Right Rhymeday,earth,funny,life,love
8/10/2012 Cruisin' the Drag Rhymecar,funny,growing up,high

My Photos

Fav Poems

Amazement Free verselife,places,voice,
Pearl Diving Quatrainlove,
Slow Movin Tights Balladme,red,women,
That Night We Kissed Rondeauromanceheart,night,heart,
A Voice In The Wind Rhymeimagination,nature,
Sailing the Seas In A Pecan Tree Rhymeadventure,old,
Soul of the Poet Quatrainfarewell,poems,poetess,
Generations Epicbirth,death,hope,life,
Muse Free versewords,writing,
Falling upward Rhymeanger,angst,bereavement,b
No Longer Mourn for Me When I Am Dead Lyricdeath,faith,religious,
Ashen Snow Villanellesad,september,

Fav Poets

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