I've been hearing news about the tragic shooting in Newtown, Connecticut
which happened almost a year ago, so I decided to post my poem again as a tribute.
The tragedy was fresh and heavy on my mind when I wrote this.
The wind howls outside my balcony door
My feet are cold from walking across the floor
As I step outside to look at the snow
I know for sure I won’t be sleeping anymore
It’s 5 am … only five hours of sleep
The house is so quiet, kids aren’t making a peep
I head to the kitchen, down darkened stairs
Coffee doesn’t take very long to prepare
Back in my bed where it’s cozy and nice
I pull the covers up, my body cold as ice
My legs are warming with my notebook on my lap
I’m thankful for the company of an early morning chat
The lights begin to flicker, my internet is gone
No one to chat with, I find myself alone
I light the few candles I have sitting about
Just in time for the power and lights to go out
Buried under covers, too bad I’m alone
The coffee tastes good, it’s still kind of warm
I close my tired eyes to take time to pray
And think about what’s ahead for the day
My mind won’t cooperate, it starts to wander
So many things that I start to ponder
Like funerals for those little ones, starting today*
In a town in Connecticut, so far away
yet so close to home, in a manner of speaking
I think of my children in their rooms still sleeping
My tears feel hot coming down my cold cheeks
As I think of the events of this sorrowful week
And of all the evil which has been unfurled
And tomorrow, supposedly the end of the world*
Well, maybe the end would be just as well
We’re already living in a sort of hell
No! I can’t think like that…I have to stop
I just wish I could have a direct talk with God
And find out what it is that He wants me to think
Find out why such bad things are happening
Why did those children have to die?
How will those parents say goodbye?
My heart aches so much as I look at the ceiling
I can’t imagine what those parents are feeling!
God, give me some answers! Show me the way!
What is the point of getting up today?
What is it I’m feeling…? Is it grief, or fear?
I hope in time things might become clear
Sitting in the dark as the temperature falls
The candles flicker gently, making shadows on the wall
Those candles smell good, they smell of peace
I close my eyes to try to get some sleep
Quietly there comes a stirring from within me
My thoughts become clear, as if in an epiphany
The children are ok… they’re in a better place
Their parents have pain that I’ll help them to face
This brings me such sorrow, I am hurting too
But I’ll use this for good, I can promise you
Things happen in this life that can’t be understood
Let your heart ache for the evil, but search for the good
Remember all those things that make life worth living
Like family and friends… serving others, and giving…
Do what you can to make the world a little better
Just spread the love… and try to remember
This world is not the end, and it isn’t your home
And neither is your body… that’s just skin and bones
There are beautiful things in store for you
I know you can’t imagine, but believe that it’s true
And tell other people, so they will have hope
It’s the only thing on earth that will help them to cope
I look out the window at the snow flying by
The sun is coming up, but gray fills the sky
I may not have the answers to all I want know
I just have to believe that God is in control
A peace comes over me like a little gift
I feel that a burden has been lifted
I still feel sad, but hopeful, in a way…
At least I think I'm ready to face another day
© Rebecca Lucas ~ December 20, 2012
*Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
On December 14, 2012, 20-year-old Adam Lanza fatally shot twenty children and six adult staff members in a mass murder at Sandy Hook Elementary School in the village of Sandy Hook in Newtown, Connecticut. Before driving to the school, Lanza shot and killed his mother Nancy at their Newtown home. As first responders arrived, he committed suicide by shooting himself in the head.
It was the second deadliest mass shooting by a single person in American history, after the 2007 Virginia Tech massacre, and the second deadliest mass murder at a U.S. elementary school, after the 1927 Bath School bombings in Michigan.
The shootings prompted renewed debate about gun control in the United States, and a proposal for new legislation banning the sale and manufacture of certain types of semi-automatic firearms and magazines with more than ten rounds of ammunition.
* Some people believed the world would end on 12/21/12 all because the Mayan Long Count calendar was thought to be reaching the end of its cycle.