Hope I'm the only one you call Beb
Every time you go to Bed
Keep it low-key with them Blues
Or listen to my lyrical Bars
You Promised to be my only
I go keep it a hundred with you Bae
You pretty thick with some big Booty
I love everything 'bout your Body
Go put on your Bikini
Lemme take you out to the Beach
Bang you hard from the Bay
With no sweeting in its coastal Breeze
surviving_pawn
I was just trying to save face
When I tripped on my own shoe lace
To the floor face first
Then up with a burst
Break dancing was born from my grace
So be there
SO BE THERE
TO KNOW MY LOVE FOR YOU AT THE LAST SUNSET
TO KNOW YOUR HEART AND GUT FEELINGS FOR THEY RIDE TOGETHER FOR CARNIVALS OFFEN
MAYBE STILL CONFUSED ABOUT OUR LOVE
WHICH ROLLS MORE THAN THE WHEELS RIDES ON MY NEARBY CHILDREN PLAYGROUND
SO BE THERE FOR MORE OR NO MORE OF US
WELL THAT WOULD DO .......
There was a girl in a night club,
Who tripped in that crowded pub.
She bruised her left arm,
But laughed off the harm,
And danced while a dog ate her grub.
I am a mouse, I am I am
I am a mouse, I am
The sort you would surely kill
If you found me in your house.
I am a rat, I am I am
I am a rat, I am
Your voice would suddenly go shrill
If you found me in your hat.
Tongue Tied in Clichés: A Blessing in Disguise
A blessing in disguise,
a double-edged sword—
a far cry from peace,
yet all in all,
at the drop of a hat
we reach for a ballpark figure,
beat around the bush,
break new ground,
burn the midnight oil.
By the book we cut to the chase,
play devil’s advocate,
fill the void with food for thought,
start from scratch,
then get cold feet.
Give the green light,
go down in flames,
hit the nail on the head,
find ourselves in over our head,
jump on the bandwagon,
keep something at bay,
leave no stone unturned.
Out of our depth,
past the point of no return,
we read between the lines,
take it with a grain of salt,
see only the tip of the iceberg—
until at last we throw in the towel.
Recall that rib-tickling comic named Dick
Boundlessly, he performed many a schtick.
He could trip over his own feet
and dance never missing a beat.
Me? I just fall on my face - Fiddlesticks!
Clumsy oaf that I am, I get in my way;
sometimes when I move, my feet want to stay.
It's an art to stumble then rise.
I blame my shoes which are queen-size,
rub my head and say, "This just ain't my day!"
Verse 1]
You're so incredible,
the most amazing man.
I'm taken to new heights of pleasure
with the touch of your hand.
There will never be another man
in my life who compares.
Your eyes, your smile...
no one as perfect anywhere.
I will never forget, or stop loving you...
Well would ya lookie here, my dear…
I can lie too!
[Chorus]
I can lie just like you do!
Make promises, plan dreams that will never come true.
I didn't know I could be such a fool!
I guess I was never, ever
good enough for you...
See? there I go again, I can lie too!
[Verse2]
You are the man
of every woman's dreams.
You sure knew your way
around my body
I guess I had you going
with all the fuss I made
So glad I was the star of all my high-school plays
Because you are an imposter...
And baby I should win an Oscar…
Cause as you can see
I can lie too!
[Chorus]
I can lie just like you do!
Make promises, plan the dreams that are never coming true.
I didn't know I could be such a fool!
I guess I was never, ever good enough for you...
See? there I go again, I can lie too!
Receiving a pie in the crown,
It just might occasion a frown.
But bear well in mind,
One always will find,
The target is never the clown.
I have no ass
My back goes right into my legs
If I didnt have a belt my pants would fall
Its genetic
My dad also has no ass
I would have never known
if someone didnt point it out
I thought I had one before
who looks at their own butt?
I tried to do squats daily
but it didnt help
Implants arent my thing
I am not gangster
my pants just lay like that
There is no cushion to support my pants
No bump
No rump
Just flat backside.
Ignored wounds
do not bleed at once,
but when touched for cure
they ache longer than they should,
reminding us how silence gathers dust
inside the body.
It is not that love is feared,
only that sometimes
its arrival feels unnecessary
like an extra flame
in a room already warm.
Still, a newborn’s breath
teaches another language of affection,
a fragile trust resting
in the hollow of two palms.
Love moves gently,
care bends like grass in wind,
affection lingers in corners
where no one thought to look.
And the hands--
they rise as sky,
they fold as umbrella,
they open as shelter.
One gesture,
a thousand meanings,
all carrying us
a little further away from hurt.
Tree top dwellers
Electric line leapers
Garage roof tenants
They seem to live solely
To gather nuts
Be chased by eager canines,
And flaunt their furry tails.
Our relationship is on shaky ground
We don't kiss each other like before
We don't say hello and goodbye anymore
We give each other the runaround
For the grace of God
We need to sit down to talk things over
We need the help of the Lord
Countless serious promises were made
That we must keep, cherish and honor
We must always sleep in the same bed
Until the end of time, until eternity
We must behave and act maturely
We must discuss everything thoroughly
We must smile and be nice to each other
We must live in peace and in harmony
And our love and passion must last forever.
Copyright © January,2019 Hebert Logerie All Rights Reserved
Hebert Logerie is the author of several books of poetry.
When I arose one day, I could barely walk.
Had to drink my coffee before I could talk.
Before I was done, the bathroom would call,
I held the grab bar, but still managed to fall.
The shower beckoned me, so I went on in.
I slipped on the soap, and bruised my shin.
Later I was hungry, so in the kitchen I go.
I screamed a bit loudly, when I stubbed my toe.
My dog started barking, and looking quite mean.
He then bit my leg, it was a real bloody scene.
I made it to the fridge, and looked inside,
There was nothing to eat, so I sat down and cried.
I ordered a large pizza, and thought "oh well".
But when it arrived, it was burnt as hell.
I tried to take a walk, but my feet were still sore,
Instead of feeling good, it was becoming a chore.
I made it back home, after slipping in the mud,
That's it, I thought, this day's a real dud.
I thought tomorrow will be good, like it's always been,
I laid my head on my pillow, then the ceiling caved in.
Goodnight!
His name was Dan but most called him “snake”,
we listened intently to each thing that he spake.
His voice would croak,
and that is no joke,
Because he was different we thought him a flake.
Specific Types of Funny Poems
Read wonderful funny poetry on the following sub-topics:
adults, birthday, christmas, friends, friendship, graduation, kids, life, love, rhyme, school, silly, teachers
and more.
Definition | What is Funny in Poetry?
Poems Related to Funny
absurd, amusing, bizarre, cracks me up, curious, entertaining, hilarious, hysterical, joke, joking, knee slapper, ludicrous, mysterious, playful, ridiculous, side splitting, silly, slapstick, strange, unusual, weird, whimsical, witty