Summertime reflections. - Bella Cardenas's Blog

Summer is over! finally. At first it's been a blessing and such a release but I've been itching to go back to school.

College! A new territory. And it starts tomorrow, I am so excited.

Things have been changing, I quit my low wage waitressing job, cut my hair (sorry Fred but it had to go!), got a better job, really pushed with my political involvement and concern, just everything. Even my poetry writing has changed, which is completely amazing to me considering how much I valued my style. Even fiery little Bella has to be calm and philosophical at times. This is what has surprised me. I hope to never lose the passion. Never. But as time slips by I feel this pensive type of emotion wash over me, and the tempermental side of me is quieted.

So ten minutes ago I was packing all my little pencils and paper into my backpack, along with the post-it notes, etc. Felt so light and happy, ready for tomorrow. High School is over, new and bigger things are going to start happening to me now. It was hard to get into my mind that this time in two years I will be living on my own in California, off to get my fashion degree. Time flies so quickly. It seemed like a month ago I was barely starting high school and maturing, getting my first job, learning the value of a dollar. Cute and small in sneakers and a tee-shirt. All I cared about was boys and getting an A on the next vocabulary test.

And here I am wearing a pencil skirt, a blouse, my kitten heels thrown on the floor,  waiting for a new activist newsletter to load on my computer and listening to Billy Holiday.

I'm growing up.

I'm young, I'm young I know! But even though I still have so many more miles to run, this realization has seeped into the soles of my patent, shiny hot pink heels, and has made me want to change the pace into a more thoughtful, slower jog.

I want to catch it all. I want to see it all. I want to appreciate the way the earth revolves around the sun and the blue sky stays so innocent. i want to understand, I want to be questioning.

I don't want to let anything pass me by, because before I was running, running to grow up, running to do things that really don't matter anymore.

 When I look in the mirror I see the same soul but the face and the insight in these eyes have changed.

The best thing that I learned this summer. The best thing  I have ever learned

Is to appreciate time.