Poem | |
We are taking a long horseback ride
On the great continental divide
They are singing "Mule Train"
Just like old Frankie Laine
While my poor butt is wailing "Rawhide"
The guide's muscles are trapezoidal
With ripples and bulges steroidal
All the bulges I find
Are inside my behind
And for sure are all hemorrhoidal
I guess I'm a poor city slicker
Of riding I couldn't be sicker
I would rather be home
Where no buffalo roam
With sitz bath and plenty of liquor
The trail is finally on the last branch
All the bleeding at last I can stanch
The guide said there's a hut
Where he'll tend to my butt
Here at the Brokeback Mountain Dude Ranch
July 13, 2014
Poem | |
"Baby, this view is fantastic,
Who knew what you could buy with plastic!
With these credit cards, unlimited funds,
Any regrets, heck no, baby I got none.
Riding on an interest rate of twenty percent,
Who cares, this is money well spent!"
Says the thief who stole my purse from the rest stop location,
One of the many tales of my no good, horrible road trip vacation.
Riding down I-seventy five, heading to Mackinaw Island for a getaway,
Me and my best boy beside me, taking an adventure, oh what a day.
Construction just north of Detroit, that scary van is stopped to our right.
Keeping my legs crossed, I might wet myself, will that be alright.
He gives me a smile with a crooked left tooth and a wave with two fingers
Push the gas pedal quick, the filthy dirty looks he is giving on me lingers.
Put the pedal to the metal and off we go, not slowing down for no one
Riding high in my seventy-three coupe de vile, the fun has just begun
Didn't see that State Trooper hiding behind that sign, just past Auburn Hills
Tried to out gun him with my 405, but he caught us just past the old mills
"Son you are in a heap of a mess, speeding like Ricky Bobby in Talladega
Two choices, let me have a spin with your gal or I'll haveta read you your
After twenty minutes, we sped off not even looking in the rear view mirror
Our vacation destination of Mackinaw Island was getting closer and clearer.
It was smooth sailing, so we thought, as the night was getting dark.
Find a hotel bed soon baby, we all are angst we missed our mark.
The sign said two miles to Holiday Inn, But it’s already been nine.
Comin’ up on us now is a big yellow Dead End road sign.
Down this dirt road we skimming across freshly grated dirt.
Could stop fast enough, deer crossing, don’t worry none got hurt.
Baby this ride is exciting
That’s what I’m supposed to be sayin’
But with my crosses on my neck,
All these issues, dang I’m just prayin’
Ridin’ seventy five, with the wind in our hair.
I don’t care how we do it, baby just get us there.
Finally arrived in Mackinaw City, getting ready to board Shepler's Ferry
The line was long, the lake waves were high, we were saying Hail Mary's
The winds picked up, the skies drew dark. a storm had come without warning
The ferry turned around, couldn't go there now, not until the next morning.
We stayed in a run down, worn out cabin on the edge of the great lakes
Wondering why these vacations always turn out to bring mistakes.
But then I look in your eyes and you look deeply into my mine.
And i know no matter where we go or what we do, everything turns out just
Vacation Humor Contest
Poem | |
Three Sonnets tell a story, in sequence.
[From the narrative poem, "Don't Go to Wyoming Alone"]
I. Natural Instinct (Chivalric Sonnet)
He saves a wad of cash and designates
the stash to finance trek in far-off land
in hunting boots and custom gun he built
for me with love and hope for trophy grand.
"Is this a trip I've dreamed about?" I ask.
"Can I enjoy the hunt, savor the kill?"
I contemplate the danger in that land -
will heat, dry thirst and bugs defeat my will?
Might this be atmosphere I cannot stand?
Excitement builds as I heft gun with ease
and find the answer soon on target range
as my bull's eye displays my expertise.
Though I have no inborn instinct to kill,
my reason tells me not to waste this skill.
II. Lost Vacation
Our trip is planned, we'll soon be on our way,
he's called and found the perfect spot to stay.
The husband leads you out to hunt the wild
as room is cleaned, clothes pressed, wife cooks gourmet.
Alas, things change, his current bent is new.
While Mom and I go west without a clue
he flies the skies to satisfy desire
from Air Force days where first the hunger grew.
But circumstance forced him to stay aground,
our funds were tight and kept him budget bound.
Since children now are wed and off the corn
he's free to choose to play or bum around.
When we return from trek out west by train,
he's spent vacation cash to buy a plane.
III. New Dimension (Couplet Sonnet)
What fun we've had in years of golden age
as we, in freedom's row, our thirsts assuage.
We climb above the ground in utter glee
and view the earth below from Cherokee.
We join a pilot's group and meet new friends.
We travel now as time and space portends.
Each time we fly we bring two more because
two empty seats invite our friend's' applause.
But soon we build a smaller home down south.
I close my ears as words come out his mouth,
"The plane's for sale, I need a tractor now
to plow off snow and grade the road." It's how
our trip to Africa, in quickened time,
became a tractor. Surely, that's a crime.
Poem | |
Spending three full days and two nights at sea
Is surely the best vacation for me
Conch chowder dinner the night before
At dawn adieu to the Key West shore
Round-trip journey to Dry Tortugas
Swordfish are known to put up a fuss
It could take four hours just to reel in
Set the reel on drag and watch it spin
Some folks say it’s the thrill of the catch
There’s so much fun in the sparring match
A battle between woman and fish
Three-hundred-pound prey, no better dish
The best reward comes at dinnertime
Succulent fare in sauce made of lime
Some can’t relate and I understand
But fresh-caught fish is better than canned
From the Gulf Stream straight to the table
This adventure requires no fable
Working out with weights ‘fore I embark
Knowing swordfish are no easy mark
Snorkeling too at Tortuga reef
Expectations are beyond belief
My idea of a perfect vacation is slated for May 30 to June 1. Entry for Carol
Brown’s “It’s Time for a Vacation” contest.
Poem | |
written 28th June 2013
The place downunder, I'm happy to call my home
if you plan on a visit, here's somethings you do "need" to know
Kakadu is a place 'you' need to take the time to see
such magic you will never won't to leave
But...if your arms "outside" the boat...
It...WILL end up down, a crocodiles throat
Ayres rock...is a must place to have on your list, simply this you can not miss
As the sun descends watch it's colours change, you'll be mesmerised by 'pure' bliss
Coober Pedy...for those slightly intrigued with the underground
for it is here, a quiet town where all there house's are found
Ballarat...you can still find gold
Well... so I've been told
I recommend...."you" don't swim in the oceans at the top end..
surrounded by oceans.... the rest, feel free to jump in
"BUT" if you happen to see a 'fin' I highly 'recommend' you swim
With nights call..'when' offered pull up a chair, grab a beer and relax
there's just....'one small' catch
Don't ever be the 'first' to fall "asleep"
Aussie's find 'extensive' pleasure in an innocent prank when asleep
Enjoy your stay....and from the Land downunder we 'all' say "G'day"
and look forward to seeing you again, we know you had a great stay
Poem | |
Adult dreams fulfilled
Children’s faces, frozen smiles
Wishes now reality
Just because of you
Memories last forever
Disneyland my dream came true
Written by Brenda Meier-Hans
For Contest: Choka Me
Dr. Ram Mehta
Poem | |
The first big family vacation, it was all so new
Mom found a dream ranch, a so-called “dude”
The kids were so young, a daughter not yet two
Our son only four, wanting to ride with the crew
Rafting, riding, and a real Mountain Man too,
This vacation was a hit - who knew?
As the years go by, we’ve made many friends
But over time this special week transcends
As families grow, things change
It can’t be helped, not really strange
Truth be told, our hearts aren’t ready
To agree on a change, on that we’re unsteady
Because memories are priceless, we’ll soon not forget
The ranch rodeos, Fat-Bat baseball games, and the brunch ride silhouette..
Of our annual family picture on a mountain out West,
Every year showing our kid’s growth, we are very blessed
It’s not with sadness that I write about when this might end
For it will surely open up a new door or trend
For as long as your heart, your family, and your thoughts don’t scatter
Where you go on vacation really doesn’t matter
Beach, mountains, wherever, one really shouldn’t mind
As long as you’re together, the time spent can be sublime
Oh, there are gripes, moans, and argument; it’s part of the quest
But I wouldn’t miss it, for who would have guessed
That in time as with all things, it too will naturally end
As children grow up and add their family blend
But If our good fortune continues we’ll be part of what’s next
In the knowledge that our time together is a gift not a test
Poem | |
It’s time to pack the rocket,
Because there’s no need for cars.
For our first vacay,
That’s as far away,
As the wonderful world of Mars.
Yes that’s what the brochure said;
It’s a wonderful world out there.
So grab the yout’s,
And lunar boots,
But don’t forget the extra air.
I’ll always recall that first trip;
Starting with how to pack.
We stuffed the trunk,
Coz who woulda’ thunk,
We couldn’t bring a luggage rack.
Then we fueled her up with the good stuff,
To go fifty million miles.
Then I guffawed,
Let’s send the in-laws,
But that made my wife hostile.
I told the kids to go to the bathroom,
Then they looked at me in a daze.
When they found out.
We’ll be flying about,
Two hundred and fifty days.
There was one last major problem;
For a request we were afraid to hear.
Our son put us on the spot,
When he asked to bring Spot;
Not this time, he has to stay here.
Well that started the bellyaching,
That delayed us leaving the house.
“Will miss all our friends,
For who knows when?”
And that stuff was said by my spouse.
Thankfully calmer heads prevailed,
After toasting with some drink.
The kids didn’t peep,
And my wife fell asleep,
Due to the added drugs, I think?
Take off was smooth as can be;
Frankly, it was a hoot.
Until I realized,
High up in the skies,
I didn’t pack my bathing suit.
When the family finally woke up,
We were soaring close to the moon.
The kids both cheered,
Then said what I feared,
“Hey dad, will we be there soon?”
Well that was just the beginning,
There was more in store for me.
When one kid upchucked,
And the other one yucked,
“Hey dad, I got to go pee!”
Then my wife put in her two cents,
And asked if I’m driving all the way through?
I said we’ll stop for the night,
On the next meteorite;
What did she expect me to do?
At last Mars came into our sights;
Talk about being out in the sticks.
They asked where we’ll stay?
I said, to their dismay,
“This rocket doubles as a Motel Six.”
We all agreed Mars was wonderful;
An exquisite planet in red.
We took pic’s big time,
Then turned on a dime,
And flew back in uncomfortable beds.
Poem | |
Fourth of July meant summer vacation road trips
Sun and fun amusement parks and the beach
Flip flops and freckles carefree slow days like pouring cold honey
Fast and forever friends were found around the corner
New discoveries found due to a natural curiosity
Sea Shells, sea creatures and sand castles
young adventurers like westward homesteaders
We had life by the tail, no fear we new infinity
We believed we were untouchable
This little island was our haven and we explored like we were owners
Palm trees and tall grass was different than our everday tall oaks at home
Vacation was once per year no time to stop for necessities
Blistering sun on tender fair skin
Marinate my flesh in sunscreen
Daddy would laugh and play like he was a king
Mama didn't seem to mind as much on vacation our summer fling
Poem | |
The cold is really bothering me
It is time for a change
Told my boss I am leaving today
Gonna hop on a plane
I hear the weather is very warm
The sun will shine all day
Going to drink some appletinins
On the beach I will play
I will treasure every minute of it
Not a care in the world
I will make all types of memories
Cuss words will not be hurled
I'm leaving for vacation today
If it's nice I just might stay
Poem | |
My crazy Cousin.
My cousin calls me crazy poet
Cause I don’t think like others
I’ve not seen her since she was three
A Flower girl to us lovers
When we got wed in sixty five
But now we write and all
Oh lord, we two are so alike
It’s just remarkable.
In eight weeks time, she’s coming here
To good old western Oz
I know we’re going to get on well
I do, and that’s because
That girl is crazy just like me
And she likes a good old laugh
She seems to be a grand old bird
I’ll say on her behalf.
She’ll bring her man, and son with her
They’re all creative folk
She can paint and write as well
And boy, it is no joke
The kind of talent that they have
It will be a joy to me
To meet up with forgotten kin
I can’t wait for this to be.
11 August 2013 @ 1813hrs.
Poem | |
Written January 8, 2013
The morning blues in a lily on the pond
Wake on the wrong side of the road
Penniless pockets play the vagabond game
Ride the tiger recently tamed
On a long road to nowhere, horizon's stain
All's my name sitting next to me
Lie down with graceful angels deep in the snow
Or on wet grass recently mowed
I've grown accustomed to the scent of your mane
Spelled chug-chuga-chug is my name
Oh why do flowers never bloom in the snow?
They never have a chance to grow
No, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore
The oaks and pines getting clearer
Much to a land unafraid to spread its wings
Listen to Woody Guthrie sing
Bacon sizzles in the rain and sunshine reigns
We've reached the line of no return
Of the big rock candy mountain we will sing
For the next week my phone won't ring
Poem | |
You've heard of a "Dream" vacation,
well that's what I'm gonna do.
My wife and I on a cruise ship,
which to us is nothing new.
This will be the ninth straight year
that we've gone on a seven day cruise.
Of all the vacation options I have,
it's the one I always choose.
The name of the ship is Carnival "Dream",
the largest in their fleet.
So it's my "Dream" vacation in more ways than one,
which I think is pretty neat.
The first stop will be in Nassau,
a Bahama paradise.
Next will be St. Thomas (V.I.)
I've already been there twice.
The next stop is St. Maarten.
It'll be my third time there.
Even though I've been before,
it's so lovely, I don't care.
At these three stops, I'll just relax,
don't really do that much.
I may go ashore and look around,
shop a bit and see the sights and such.
For the many attractions the ship offers,
I just can't say enough.
Excellent shows and things to do,
to top them would be tough.
This is my "Dream" vacation,
I always look forward too.
It's the most relaxed I ever get,
there's nothing I'd rather do.
Poem | |
Dawn’s arms rock us awaken
First light guides our eyes open
A minute or two we bask
Before we rise to the tasks
Buzzing we go, all duty
Not missing the melody
Of plans laid out well in war
When the battle cry did warn
Signs were posted in plenty
In aches of flesh past groaning
Clocks ticked too fast to keep up
We sensed the call to the Sun
Finally armed and fueled
We three and the engine revved
Taking routes always farther
Away from the walled master
Warmer becomes flesh and heart
As we steer like movie stars
Heads high to catch the sun’s drops
Eyes shaded in blissful lost
Soon we are flying through air
Passing green-eyed rooms with cheer
Bucolic scenes blaze colors
How beautifully they merge
Tempo slows as deep blue nears
Silent, the wait comes to bear
Descent is smooth, toes sink in
Digging in grains so golden
It is here we recover
Here, we let go of the war
Poem | |
Born American, sixth generation of great-grands all German,
not much liking sausage or sauerkraut, English speaking all the way,
except the Germany of my ancestry was fought over and broken
so I’m a bit of France, Germany, Poland, Hungary all the Holy
Roman empire, dissolved down, fought over, egotized, horrified
and remade Into some new state where English is as common as German.
We share a love of flowers in the face of cold and rain, I drink less beer
and wine, meet up somewhere, anywhere around the world on a beach.
From my parents and grandparents, I know to serve up too much food
seven sweets, seven sours and drink and whirl the night away to a band.
Hardworking sorts, unafraid of a little dirt, loving dirt, the turnover
and young sprout brought to fruit, wearing overalls and then washing up.
To sit before a pressed linen table cloth, served up on the finest china,
the cha in my father’s name, the uff da, and other exclamations.
The morning rosaries, the blessed churches where we give thanks for all good
and the setting aside of pride while we work together to make our food.
Sure there are aprons for cooking. Shorts for summertime. A dive into any pool.
What do I know of being German, not much, it's just somewhere in my roots.
Poem | |
Finn and Mcgee
went fishing once more
With the money they saved up all year
They rented a cabin
up by the lake
And filled it with fish bate and beer
For two weeks of fishing
They made it their mission
To wake up and start at first light
With poles in their hands
They hardly could wait
For a big fish to come up and bit
Day after day
They fished and they fished
but barely got even a nibble
Then on the last day
McGee caught a trout
That apparently wasn't so fickle
Now on the way Home
Finn said to McGee
"You Know what this fish, has cost you...
...A thousand Quid"
"Well Finn, if it did
Then I glad I didn't catch two"
Poem | |
R aring to go on my first family road trip
O nward bound to cross the ocean by ship
A tlantic ocean a remarkable vista to behold
D riving with my family traveling the open road
T urmoil and tension inevitably begins to erupt
R aging tempers flare as our parents get abrupt
I nnocent children witness the beginnings of divorce
P arents should ask for directions when lost and off course.
Kim Merryman's Road Trip Contest.
Poem | |
Farewell, then, AUKN boss,
The next this year makes three.
By the time they find a substitute,
Slovenes will be at sea.
He tried to cover his behind;
AUKN boss of bosses,
As every week, balances grew bleak:
He weighed merits and losses.
With all this he'd no time to eat,
And round and round he flew.
And now he's split in a hissy-fit;
So helmsman, too-de-loo!
Day after day, day after day,
He drifted on the ocean;
Guano-vernment rained on his ship
Their suggestions for promotion.
Cousins, cousins, everywhere,
Corporate boards crosslink;
Cousins, cousins, everywhere,
Let's take you for a drink.
Accountants talking rot: O Christ!
Missions, visions - oh please!
Yea, slimy characters need legs
And slimy policies.
So has he done an hellish thing?
Not hired who? We dunno:
Was it absurd, to have a separate curd
From the whey Slovenia owes?
This wretch won't play, after 60 days;
Pissflaps, he'll have to go!
God help ya, gospod Bencina
From the fiends, that plague us thus! -
It's time to go — shot like cross-bow,
The AUKN boss.
Ah! walk-out day! what evil looks
Had I from Ernst and Young!
Who's at a loss? AUKN's boss
Wouldn't take a bung?
"You'll be" quoth one, "abolished - no
Stigma to double-cross."
He chose to go - why? We don't know:
Harmless AUKN boss.
Re-reading the original gave me a great idea for dinner until I realised all the storks have all flapped off to Africa for the winter. Pity, as I have some ancient marinade from Tuš. Like the subject of the poem, I didn't have the stamina for a Coleridge-length effort.
The National Poet Of Slovenia In A Language People Understand interprets important Slovenian affairs for the non-Slovene speaking world. www.maria.si
Poem | |
I went on a road trip with my brother and dad
And I want to share the time that I had
We left from Indiana to New York City we were heading
To be a part of my sisters wedding
I didn't have the kids so I thought yes smooth trip
I lied to myself sure was fooled forget it
We had to keep stopping it just would'nt last
For some strange reason we kept running out of gas fast
My dad got hungry as his stomack loudly grawles
But there wasn't another rest stop for at least 20 miles
We had a smooth ride until traffic started to jam
We got restless trying to do anything we can
Then the cops pulled us over and issued a speeding ticket
I'm not the driver I'm not paying it
The wedding was beautiful and so was she
I got to see my best friend and spend time with family
now Iam sad and feel so alone
Back on this long trip it's quiet all the way home
For vacation this summer I plan to go back
But this time Iam taking the kids and riding the amtrak
FOR VIVA VACATION CONTEST
Poem | |
dance upon darkened skies
guiding light on the mother road
This poem was inspired by my stay at the Blue Swallow Motel on Historic Route 66 in Tucumcari, NM.
Poem | |
I sit upon the river bank watching in reflection
Low stretched arms of mountains spread, calling for attention,
Our camping place is worry free, no one here to bother me
I want to write a poem, a verse.....and curse my own distraction
Here in summer’s languor, no words could ever tell
Beholding beauty such as this, would cause the tongue to swell
Where the slopes of other valleys, or longing lakes afar
The heart feels quiet sympathy, they cannot compare as well
So overcome with majesty, and tranquil peaks of snow
The stillness of a mirrored lake, unlike I have ever known
If heaven could be so beautiful…Dear Lord, please take me now
If heaven’s gate, is such as this, I'll never hesitate to go
But, I must put away the waiting pen, and put away my muse
For, I hear the family calling me, and though I have excuse
It's time to gather kindling wood, for a fire in the pit
Those s'mores to make, they'll not forsake, marshmallows on a stick!
For Francine's Contest: "A Summer's Day
Poem | |
Solar sails are set--
Stores secured, status shows green.
Surfing Saturn's rings.
Poem | |
Very hot season
Vacation time for children
Time to take a swim
Poem | |
Simple treasures we have found
as we learned to look around
Walking holding hand
I love you in the sand
As the tides began to rise
as the words disappeared before our eyes
But simple treasures we have found
as we learn to look around
Poem | |
Racing down the holiday expressway
Overexcited bouncing youngsters on the edge of bursting
“Are we there yet” the battle cry of back seat drivers
Did we miss that turn on the road less travelled (now lost)
Taking on snacks and numerous pit stops
Really? This was not my idea, frustration edged voice
Into Vacation Paradise we finally climb
Pitch the tent then to the beach we rally
August 22nd, 2013
For the Contest