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Little Known Nothing Poem
Laying her back on the wall of her prison
Why was it different
It hurt more
Shocked more
Chest heavy
Grief affecting her
This terrible ache consuming every pore
Harder to swallow
It was him she's sure
She loons at me
I know the look
She's hiding behind the sofa
Saying he's been back banging on the door
I know it was the tumble dryer upstairs
Her eyes are bloodshot
A beautiful bright blue bloodshot
Wide as fish eyes
She's been pacing all night holding a knife
She's holding an umbrella
I took the knives last time she cut her wrists
She's in torn clothes as she tears at her flesh
I feel my flesh tear
That's her last nice dress
No longer nice but torn and red
I give her trousers and a belt
My own only just brought
They drown her
At least she's covered
She says he's been calling her all night on the phone
I took the phone when she smashed it on the wall
I try to think of everything
In the bathroom there's hair in the chipped shabby sink
She's been pulling it out by the roots
I feel my scalp it's sore, alien
I feel everything
I removed the scissors when she shredded her scalp cutting her hair off
Saying this is why he had her
Her long golden hair
My hair
Lithium pills
In the cabinet, too many
Too many pills
She should of taken these
She calms
I calm
Promising to take her pills, begging don't send me back to hell
But at the secure unit she's safe
I'm safe
Says she'll have a bath and
be better tomorrow
She's settled, I'm settled
So I leave
I'll come back in the morning
I sleep soundly
First night in months
The morning light gives me slight hope
I can't remember this feeling much
I hear a crash
I run
I'm taking too long
Kicking the door in
I thank God for kickboxing
She's swinging from the oak beam in the ceiling
My belt around her neck
Juddering
I look for a knife
I look for scissors
To cut her down
Cut me down
I look for a phone to call an ambulance
I feel my body juddering
My heart stop beating
The belt
The new belt
I hadn't thought about the belt
Copyright © Little Known Nothing | Year Posted 2014
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Little Known Nothing Poem
She's dying over and
over
From the insanity of
the missing
The heart will
repair
Though I wouldn't
dare say this
At the sky she
stares
Continuously
She says life must
go on
I must go on
she says
I don't want to be
without him
As she opens the
second bottle of
vodka
If I'd had a choice
I'd of gone with him
But I'd never wish
for him to ever feel
This crushing
feeling
Not for a instance
In the night she
thinks I'm sleeping
But I hear
everything
Dear God
I was wondering if I
could have a moment
of your time ?
I know your a busy
bloke and that,
your tired with all
these voices
shouting up at you,
I would be too.
But I thought I'd
give it a go.
I know your the
universal spirit and
there's lots on
your mind,
so I tell you what
I'll talk and you
can just listen,
give me your views
at the end.
I was wondering if
you've looked in on
me lately
See God
I'm feeling
incredibly unhappy,
Distraught you could
say,
miserably alone.
I know there's
millions, probably
billions
I don't know the
average,
but no matter.
I know there's
other's wanting your
attention,
The people dying
from cancer or
The African village
women screaming for
you to stop the men
taking their kids,
Putting them on
smack to fight there
twisted gorilla
wars.
Our boys in
Afghanistan getting
maimed and
slaughtered.
So firstly I was
wondering if it's
normal to feel this
way ?
You see I think of
him so much he
enters my dreams as
soon as I close my
eyes,
Is this your doing ?
Tell me what I have
to do to stop this
fog,
Tell me when I reach
the other side I'll
still be me,
Tell me it's ok to
still cry silently,
without even
knowing,
Then,
Tell me how to stop
the tears,
Tell me, if this
ache in my chest
relieves,
Tell me, I'm
standing this pain
to be with him
again,
Go on tell me ??!!!
I'm so alone I bet
you got all the
Angels up there
keeping you company,
Hay I thought they
were supposed to be
down here looking
after us ?
Point is, the real
point is
You got something of
mine and I want it
back.
I'm not blaming you,
well I am sort of,
I think your a
really good bloke
but took too much
on,
We all do it now and
then don't we.
I mean the church
wrote your book
didn't it,
It's really down to
Matthew , Mark ,
Luke, and John,
you should really
send them boys down
here,
I know a lot of
people who want a
word with them.
They're responsible
for war,
Famine and mass
genocide,
Because be honest
all wars start at
religion one way or
another don't they.
I'm Sorry I've gone
off track,
What I was saying
is,
my dad told me if
he'd of died when he
got kidney failure
It's God's will.
Well if it's your
will,
Do me a favour and
send my husband back
I wasn't finished
with him yet.
And if you can't do
that,
Tell him something
for me,
Tell him I love him,
But lie, say I'm ok.
Say I'm getting by,
I got sleeping
tablets off the doc,
Say I'm almost
happy.
Not to worry.
Tell him I'm rushing
towards death for
him,
That I've stocked up
on vodka.
God, tell him I'll
be there soon.
Copyright © Little Known Nothing | Year Posted 2014
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Little Known Nothing Poem
We are the children
of the Four
A wandering race
The leaves, trees
and streams feed us
The earth, water and
winds sustain us
We belong to no man
A race so
complicated
You talk about us
with hushed voices
From behind your
hands
Always looking down
The idea of us so
precious
You don't deserve us
Never looking in our
eyes
As though the simple
mention of us will
bring you conflict
Our women so
beautiful
Seeing them leaves
the vision in your
head for days
So you look away
From our mystical,
regal creatures
As we are the
children of the
forests, rivers and
dessert
The snow in the
north
We have always been
We have always
existed
You gave us our name
It was never your
right
You called us
gypsies
You look at us and
see aluminium homes
Your curious eyes
scanning our sites
Picking up on the
old battered cars
Camp fires and dirt
Nomads fighting with
black eyes
Traveling through
these lands
You do not see our
beauty
As you are not
children of the air
A race so loyal like
thunder and lighting
Inside our homes
lives a love so vast
and thick
You can scoop it up
and eat it
It feels like candy
floss
Smells like Apple
blossom
We a deadly
protective race
Taught from years of
persecution
We learnt to only
live with our own
Wandering through
life
Never having a home
When we burned, fire
was so angry
Our ash turned to
snow flakes
The wind was so
distraught
Our ash fluttered
over holy ground
Settled on the
barren
We grew a paradise
Earth was so hurt
you took her
children
For you paradise
will be forever out
of reach
Teasing you
Just before it's in
your grasp
The ocean washes it
away
Burning us made
water scream
You had killed the
children of the Four
We don't expect to
be understood
Our wisdom lays too
deep
The Nazis didn't
just kill and
persecute the Jewish
souls
They killed us too
Put your nose in the
air
Just so
You can still smell
us on the wind
Copyright © Little Known Nothing | Year Posted 2014
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Little Known Nothing Poem
The truth
It will destroy you
An August day
While you sweep up
rose petals
On our Sun drenched
porch
You look at me from
under heavy lashes
And say it's ok
You don't wish to be
without me
It's ok your always
want me
Your never stop
I'll bask in this
glory
Thanking God for you
loving me
As tears prick the
back of my eyes
The hand around my
heart squeezes a
little tighter
Until I am
breathless with it
In time
There is a
difference to us
Making love is no
longer rushed
After
I look at you,
looking down at me
But neither of us
say it's pointless
Your days a little
darker
A little longer
Things a little more
useless
The hand around my
heart squeezes a
little tighter
As the truth picks
away at your dreams
one by one
At Christmas we
pretend we are still
happy
Completely in love
While in the garden
with your sister
The truth pours out
of me in great sobs
She says it's ok
your get through
this
We both know she's
lying
Inside she's crying
I had no right in
making you love me
So the hand squeezes
a little tighter
round my heart
Somewhere along the
way
Anger rises
The tension
surprises us
You begin to resent
me
Hate me for letting
you love me
And I am sorry
I stayed a little
too long
Cared a little too
much
I needed this
whatever it was
So the hand squeezes
a little tighter
round my heart
Invisibly I collect
my possessions
Storing them
They lay in wait
Courage appears
At three in the
morning on a Tuesday
Quietly I get my
things
Wait by the window
for a taxi
As the hand squeezes
a little tighter
round my heart
The knowledge
erupted
Watching you hold
your new Godson
Looking at me
longingly
Knowing I can never
give you this
Tears glazing your
eyes
Looking so proud
It's wrong for me to
keep you
With me this is all
your ever be
A childless man
In your hallway
You help with my
bags saying nothing
I will never be
wife, bnever be a
mother
Without you I'll
never be anything
As the cab pulls
away
You say your always
love me
I say I know
But I have to let
you go
I'm giving you a
chance of what I
can't give you
The most precious
thing
A family
So the hand
completely squeezes
my heart
Copyright © Little Known Nothing | Year Posted 2014
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Little Known Nothing Poem
There is a her shaped hole in this world
A black void
If you look hard enough you can still see the sparkles of the departed
Black diamonds of the afterlife
The entrance left open
In case he needs to follow
It's not in the leaving she said
It's in the living once I'm dead
The cold cold bed Sat in our room
The silence in the telephone
This is what the worst will be
The carrying on without me
It isn't in the leaving she sighs
It's in the knowing I didn't survive
She asked him once to be brave
Carry on forget her name
Give some meaning to his life
Leave behind the cold dead wife
How can you love me she asked
When all I want is to depart
How am I faithfully yours she cried
He just looked at her and sighed
It isn't in the leaving she cried
It's in the living once I've died
Where I'm going has no name
The darkness consumes me again and again
I'll wait for you she said
She promised as in life and death
I warned you along the way she said
I tried to make you see
I never belonged to your world
I was never truly me
I belong to the nether world
I was put here by mistake
I'm waiting for it to draw me back
To take again my place
This is what she's seeing there
He's too used up to even care
Watching his restless nights and days
Keeping the haunting mind at bay
The last vision in his head is his wife hanging above the bed
Copyright © Little Known Nothing | Year Posted 2013
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Little Known Nothing Poem
That's not me in that box
I'll not be shrouded
Or cushioned on silk
Do not dress me in Cotten
Perfect me for heaven
I shall let nothing contain me
As it's just a shell
All muscle and sinew
Fibre and hair
Nothing I need now
As I am
As air
That's not me in that box
Perfectly place
I'm not beautifully made up
Hands praying on chest
That's not me in that box
Nothing shall hold me
As God created me
My soul was set free
My love
That's not I
Looking like china with alabaster skin
Close your eyes, listen
Do you not see
Slight change in the atmosphere
As you stand close to me
Please say you feel the warmth on your chest
As I snuggle into you
I breath in your neck
If your fingers tingle
I'm holding your hand
I promise ill do this as long as I can
The smell of white musk
Creak on our stairs
That's me my love
I'll stay with your here
Mum, dad
It's not your girl
In a casket of oak
I can be part of the wind
Or anything I like
I can be for you
The warmth of the sun
Shimmer of leaves as dusk moves in
I'll be your comfort
As you cry and can't breath
I'll hold you up if you stumble and scream
I'll be for you
Whatever brings ease
I'll be memories of autumn, summer or spring
Tangled Christmas lights and blackberry picking
Warm hot baths
Water bottles in winter
For you I'll be anything
That could make this easier
That is not I
Sealed within oak and cushioned on silk
I am everything
As everything is me
I'll stay with you all
For as long as you need
Copyright © Little Known Nothing | Year Posted 2014
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Little Known Nothing Poem
I am a ghost in this house
A shadow of the past shapeless moving around you silently.
Carefully stepping on the stair steps that don't creak.
Sliding along the oak floors.
Wearing invisible clothes that don't crease.
Wondering constantly for your warmth to come back.
Grace me with your presence once more.
To be as we were solid
unbent perfection.
You are a ghost in this house
A breeze through the attic window that shimmers the curtains.
The cold side of the bed.
Wondering awake untill we meet again.
We walk circles round one another
Our hands never touch
Our bodies never meet.
I look for you in everything
Room to room but no luck
You am a ghost in this house
You bound up the stairs loudly but never make a sound.
I turn as I think I see a shadow.
Sitting on our bed with your head in your hands
A crying broken man
We are ghosts in this house
One alive, one dead
Moving around one another
But forever looking
Copyright © Little Known Nothing | Year Posted 2013
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Little Known Nothing Poem
My love for you is timeless
It will last my remaining days
Then follow wherever death takes me
On the eve of my ending day
It grew from innocent shyness
Cryptic smiles and sweet hellos
A love that was once relentless
Loosing sleep as desire did grow
My love for you is eternal
As unforgettable nights were made
There was darkness deep within me
Then light began to reign
Butterflies soon descended
Into the depths where stillness slept
Igniting a passion so fierce
Aphrodite herself had set
My love for you is undying
Lasted through storms of bitter rage
Days of unhappiness surrendered
To love you another day
My love for you is unyielding
It's simple
But it's true
As life decided for me
It would only ever be you
Copyright © Little Known Nothing | Year Posted 2014
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Little Known Nothing Poem
There's a name for me
Involuntary childless
And I can't escape this
It's everywhere I look
Being an involuntary childless
Made my pain too real
It's everywhere I go
Stalking me like an unwanted lover
Under the sheets
Creeping up when asleep
Dreaming a fat belly, glowing perfectly
I cried a day I suppose
I expect more
But now there's a name for me
Charities I never knew
others as me
Scared of the supermarket
Afraid to walk the dog
Not wanting the cheers of children near
I never knew
I never knew it would be too real
I am an involuntary childless
This exact name for me
I should be happy
Feel some sort of relief
But I don't
You see now there's a name for me
Charities
There's others feeling as this
loneliness so cruel
Life feeling pointless
A silence between holding hands
A missing atom
This world is deverstation for me
And i wouldn't wish this on anyone
But now there's a name for it
I feel worse than I did
This Lonely place others also exist
For them I feel hurt, intolerable pain
Racking through my chest
Finding it hard to breath
Others should not be with me in this dark cavern
Not knowing where their life is going
All on hold for wanting
My husband loves me
Although the missing is still there
Shall always be near
I wanted to leave
Stand alone
Letting him have a piece of paradise
A life with
Not being without
Not being an involuntary childless
The worst hurt occurred
When his mother told him not to leave
Stand by me
As if I'm an object he could put down
As I don't work properly
Just an object
Not a good one at that
That's when it hurt the most
As I was turned into and object
That doesn't work
As though our love, marriage now means nought
As I'm involuntary childless
I'm an object that doesn't work
Copyright © Little Known Nothing | Year Posted 2014
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Little Known Nothing Poem
Warming lights surround you
Quilting the sharp silence
Outside dawn begins
Earth starts stretching
Straightening out the knots
Caught from hours of slumber
Night moves on to blacken another sky
And Calmness stills the room
All is as it should be
As you drift in an endless sleep
I know not if you'll wake
Or lay your eyes on me once
more
Softening my heavy heart
As death appears, he waits by
your side
Head dipped in respect
White and gold robes I study of him
I beg him for more time
An hour, a day, a second
His comforting eyes say no
It is your time and my heart stills
Now I must let you go
Aged hands under silken skin
Once tended plants and raised children
Loose their warmth
A last breath escapes your
lungs
I look at death pleadingly
But nothing can be done
I have to let you go now
You must do this alone
Death picks up your soul up as
an orb
Glittering like a large diamond
To ferry you to your kin
I see them through the void
I see them waiting
never again will we sit on the
porch
As dew wakes up the grass
Trees shacking off the night before
Us, just being us
I'd soak up your wisdom
That resided in your soul
Every snippet a precious gem to me
Id bury them within
Where no other could reach them
Where no other could steal them
I show no tears
As they only fuel pain
From a young age
You taught me to be brave
Knowing my life would shatter
me
Often I'd feel pain
So your compassion carried me
Over potholes and rocky paths
Your soothing voice steadied
me
Till I made it safely past
Now Laying out your body
Ready for your last journey
I wonder if I told you enough
The love I have for you
I was blessed everyday
You were in my life
Things seemed easier
With you at my side
Life was not so daunting
The hill was not so steep
Now you gone I'm shattered
Watching an endless sleep
Time with you was precious
For this truth I smile
The mirror reflects parts of you
Placed in this heart of mine
Happy you left peacefully
And I was at your side
Inner gladness reigns
As not just your jam recipe
Was handed down to me
Copyright © Little Known Nothing | Year Posted 2014
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