Involuntary Childless

There's a name for me Involuntary childless And I can't escape this It's everywhere I look Being an involuntary childless Made my pain too real It's everywhere I go Stalking me like an unwanted lover Under the sheets Creeping up when asleep Dreaming a fat belly, glowing perfectly I cried a day I suppose I expect more But now there's a name for me Charities I never knew others as me Scared of the supermarket Afraid to walk the dog Not wanting the cheers of children near I never knew I never knew it would be too real I am an involuntary childless This exact name for me I should be happy Feel some sort of relief But I don't You see now there's a name for me Charities There's others feeling as this loneliness so cruel Life feeling pointless A silence between holding hands A missing atom This world is deverstation for me And i wouldn't wish this on anyone But now there's a name for it I feel worse than I did This Lonely place others also exist For them I feel hurt, intolerable pain Racking through my chest Finding it hard to breath Others should not be with me in this dark cavern Not knowing where their life is going All on hold for wanting My husband loves me Although the missing is still there Shall always be near I wanted to leave Stand alone Letting him have a piece of paradise A life with Not being without Not being an involuntary childless The worst hurt occurred When his mother told him not to leave Stand by me As if I'm an object he could put down As I don't work properly Just an object Not a good one at that That's when it hurt the most As I was turned into and object That doesn't work As though our love, marriage now means nought As I'm involuntary childless I'm an object that doesn't work