Best Shoe Poems
"I LIKE NONSENSE, IT WAKES UP THE BRAIN CELLS!"
a quote from dear Dr. Suess......
Dr. Suess and his Shoe Store
LISTEN, LISTEN! I have BIG NEWS
Dr. Suess has a store just full of SHOES..
A GAZILLION shoes I'm sure there must be
Line them all up, bet they'd stretch to the sea!
Small shoes and tall shoes and some with spots
He even has one covered with pink polka dots..
...... Lots of Dots....
Round shoes and square shoes and OH MY
Even lots of cool shoes you don't have to tie!
A snake came in cause he was going to school
And wearing shoes at school is a VERY strict rule..
Now where could a snake wear a shoe you ask?
Well he wore the darn thing like a Halloween mask..
You can buy just one pair if your feeling thrifty
But poor old centipede - he had to buy fifty
He first bought 25 pair, all were bright yellow
Then 25 orange...now he's quite a colorful fellow!
A kangaroo complained that his feet were sore
So extremely sore he could not hop any more
They fixed him up with a spring loaded pair
Now he can happily hop from here to there!
So if a GRANDUFULOUS sight your longing to see
Dr. Suess is waiting at the corner of 7th and G
With shoes for the young and shoes for the old
HURRY! HURRY! before the purple ones get sold!
This is an old poem of mine that I reworked a bit....
She jiggled like pink jello into the store
with platinum blonde hair and red rouge on her face
the shoe clerk mumbled it must be 1950's day
watching her strut around with a hanky made out of lace
She said hi hon you know why I'm here
he replied let me guess, you wear a size eight
she said well if the shoe fits I might as well wear it
and maybe later if you get lucky you can be my date
So she scouted around and found a pair
and sat down with tight dress flair
he thought to himself I think I'm in love with Mae West
looking her up and down and at her chest
He gently took her foot and slid her old high heel off
his hand sliding up and starting to cruise
she batted her eyelashes and said oh keep it coming, she toyed
saying, why don't you come up and see me later big boy
With that he winked and slid the new heels on
watching her walk around like Mae West
she said you know I know you like me big boy
but my eyes are up here and not on my chest
With that he gave her a long wolf whistle
and said you know I just can't resist
now stop acting your shoe size sexy
pulling her towards him giving her a passionate kiss
She whispered hon is that your gun
or are you just happy to see me
he said guess what my little chickadee
tonight you can be my Bacall and I'll be your Bogie
With that she left the store with customers galore
staring, whispering and looking aghast
he said out loud, come on... get a life...
I know we're a little kooky, but she happens to be my wife!
2-7-18
My Shoe Collection
Shoes
Nice if you have them
Shoes
There is love
There is happiness
When the next path of your journey
You take with shoes on your feet
Shoes
I am coming out of the closet
I am not a woman
But I do have too many shoes
Shoes
Love and relationships
Why there are a lot like a pair of shoes
At times, things may stink and smell
Yet still better as a pair
Shoes
If I could walk a mile
In everyman’s shoes
I could walk forever
Never having to buy my own
Red Shoes
The Red Socks
Will never win
Without good running shoes
Blue Shoes
If only I had blue shoes
Of suede
Id be dancing with you
After the autographs
Shoes
Homeless people wish for shoes
Millionaires wish for closets
Big Shoes
My feet are so big
Ladies buy me my shoes
Shoe Sale
The man with one leg
Looks for shoe sales
At half off
The Hookers Shoes
A good hooker
Never has used shoes
Academy a Wards
Winners and losers
All complain about their shoes
Petty and jealous, the famously inane
Their shoes show their vain
Shoe Diversity
They come in many fashions
In shoes there is humanities design
We all walk the path of human strife
All Shoes matter
Celtic Shoes
Irish Shoes
Scottish shoes
Welsh shoes
All meet at the pub
So their feet can have a rest
While the mouths imbibe with chatter
If all goes well
Later on
The shoes fall off in a clatter
Miami Vice
Got the finest shoes from Miami
Found out they were fakes
Tongues were bent and crooked
Must have come from crocodile skinned tears
Mocking the homeless with no shoes over the years
The Great Canadian Shoe Trapper
The trapper goes for beaver pelts
The millionaire goes for shoes of felt
Armani makes it all the way
Only when the consumer comes out to play
The Shoeless Argentine
If you wish to invade the Falkland’s
Remember to bring your shoes
Cause your dictator has all your money
He cares not if you really lose
A box of old shoes under the stair,
Discarded, unwanted, no matching pair.
No longer needed, pushed out of sight.
Resigned to this box, and a fast fading light.
Soft supple leather with creases to spare,
Polished and nourished with infinite care,
Deep, deepest red, black cherry hue,
Once, long ago, a fine ladies shoe.
Dirty old canvas all tatty and frayed,
Laces have gone with age they have strayed.
Way back in time in Olympics it shone,
The end of an era, the last race is run.
A crusty old boot with steel in the hide,
Remembers the days the land it would stride,
Helped build this country relished the role,
Undaunted, unbowed, grit in the sole.
A soft velvet slipper its partner long gone,
Lies quiet in the box while the world moves along,
Once in a while a pale silken glove,
Holds it so gently and strokes it with love.
Such a wearisome time in this box of rejects,
What happens now? What happens next?
Each knows the answer. No use debating.
It’s the end of the line, and Heaven is waiting.
It was a homeless old man near a shoe store who fell asleep
He was so tired that nap turned to a sleep that was deep
A little boy walked passed with his mother and noticed that the old man had one shoe
He felt sad, “mother it’s something I just got to do!”
That little boy face was full of tears
His little heart grew big because he cared
He grabbed both of his mother’s hand and tightly grasped them leading her into prayer
After the short and quick prayer, “Mom I was just told to share.”
He had ten dollars from his allowances that he saved for weeks
His mother didn’t know what to say, she couldn’t even speak
Immediately he rushed in the shoe store and asked the clerk how much was that one black wing tip shoe
The clerk had a big smile and said it was thirty-two
Every customer and fellow employee gave money to make the little boy prayer come true
Instead of thirty-two dollars he now had sixty four
He quickly grabbed the shoe box and ran out the door
The little boy shook the old man out of his sleep and gave him the box
When the old man woke up his eyes was full of tears and he was shocked
Big crocodile tears rolled down his face
He grabbed the little boy and gave him the tightest embrace
The old man yelled, “This is the best gift yet!”
Some say the old man got up and danced until the sun set
Mark 12:30-31 (NIV) Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’[a] 31 The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[b] There is no commandment greater than these.”
Real Life Shoe Fable
Old Woman with too many kids
Lives in ancient shoe
Kicks out the heel
And puts in a pool!
There was an old lady who lived in a shoe
She was sad and poor and feeling quite blue
So many children, the count was twenty and two
The cupboards were empty, they were really poor
Something needed to be done, the old lady swore
A sign ‘room for rent’ she put on the door
Three little pigs came, the room to rent
One look you could see, murder her intent
Now the freezer is full, no money she spent
The story she spread, the wolf was to blame
Now the poor old wolf has unwanted fame
All due to the old lady, what a terrible shame
They're old, they're ugly, they're falling apart.
Had them forever, they're part of my heart.
They're comfy and old
And to me, pure gold
And if you throw them out, a fight WILL start.
We are extremely jealous of her sandals, the ones with the glitzy silver rhinestones.
She has worn them twice this week. But who is counting?
We scoff at her apple decorated tennis shoes, who would wear them in public?
I hate those damned ugly fur-lined boots she drags out for snow, my mate says.
I snicker.
We hear footsteps, and get quiet.
Humans get weird when the shoes are talking.
The closet door opens a crack.
Someone yells “Are you ready yet?” The husband, we think.
He never comes in here.
The door opens wide, making me blink due to the bright light.
I feel like I am in a police interrogation room.
Pick me! Pick me! Pick me! My mate begins to chant. I shush him.
I can hear him still thinking it from his corner of the closet where he was thrown
Upside down and backwards last summer.
I am sitting under a garbage bag of clothes, so why am I laughing?
Our woman reaches for my mate. I can feel him smiling. I try to scoot closer, so she can see me.
She pokes around a bit in this hovel from hell, then she drops him. OUCH!
She picks up the glitzy rhinestone sandals, and the door shuts.
“I hate YOU!” my mate yells at me.
We are in the dark again, in the furiously maddening darkness.
I want to kill him, but I cannot move, squashed under this damned garbage bag.
"One day while resting in the store,
I saw you striding through the door.
You seemed a kindly youngster who
Would know just how to treat a shoe.
Though nervous, newly-made, and shy,
I tried my best to catch your eye.
And soon my heart was filled with glee.
You picked me up and purchased me!
"You took me home and shined me up
And kept me from your gnawing pup.
Beneath your bed you made me wait
Beside the one you called my mate.
I sat forgotten there for weeks
With dusty toys and dirty sneaks.
Until, at last, one day at dawn
You picked me up and put me on.
"For months I took you where you chose.
I saved your sole and heel and toes.
We dodged the mud and sidewalk cracks
And walked on walls and railroad tracks.
You put your weight and trust on me
And laced me tightly as can be.
Through pain and sweaty feet and rain
I held my tongue, did not complain.
But now I'm old; there is no doubt.
I'm tattered, torn, and all worn out.
I hear you've bought a brand new pair.
With all I've done, it isn't fair.
Remember how we romped and ran?
I need a good retirement plan.
I've earned a better ending than
The bottom of your garbage can."
* * * * *
(Did you notice the two shoe puns?
"I saved your sole(soul"
and "held my tongue")
On top of the pile___shoes upon shoes
One lone wedged-heel red shoe that gives clue
That she knew what her fate would be soon
Aware her soul__spirit would take flight
One lone wedged-heel red shoe that gives clue
The owner was last one to die the death
Aware her soul__spirit would take flight
Memories filled her every thought
The owner was last one to die the death
Terror, horror with every breath
Memories filled her every thought
Of family, friends, life, love__children
Terror, horror, with every breath
Because she knew what fate would be soon
Same as family, friends, love__children
On top of the pile__shoes upon shoes
At the ball...
At this point in the tale, a happy ending should be pending,
But readers now are more demanding,
And so, I'll tweak a bit the plot.
Cinderella made an entrance like aurora borealis
That sent a shockwave through the palace,
"Who is this chick? Man, she is hot!"
When the prince caught her attention, his anxieties enflamed him,
But when she smiled, he overcame them,
And asked her if she'd care to dance.
The king and queen were sore relieved
Because they'd had some apprehension,
To girls he'd never paid attention,
They thought him something of a "nance".
But by the time the waltz was over he was thoroughly enraptured,
This girl his royal heart had captured,
And her to wed he was inclined.
Mom and Dad looked on with pride,
And it was then and there decided
To get the two of them united
Before the prince could change his mind.
But he was well and truly hooked, and as to true love she surrendered,
Cindy suddenly remembered
She must be out of there by twelve.
If she hung around too long
Until the tower bell stopped tolling,
The whole darn thing would start unrolling,
The midnight knell would end the spell.
So Cinderella fled the ball, but just before the spell was broken,
She dropped a slipper as a token,
And hoped the prince would come around.
But when the clean-up crew was through,
Along with hairpins and nail clippers,
At least a dozen single slippers
Had been turned in to Lost and Found.
When the prince saw all those shoes, he didn't ponder which or whether,
Just one was crystal, the rest leather,
And he knew what he had to do.
He had his mother pack a lunch,
And Benzedrine he grabbed a fistful,
Then off he shot just like a pistol
In hot pursuit of that glass clue.
To be continued...
Adorably cute
in my hand-tailored suit...
searching for my Cinderella missing her shoe;
among the prettiest faces, someone will stand out
with eyes that are somewhat blue...
and running into a handsomer guy,
it won't discourage her from finding her delight...
hiding behind others without the perfect alibi!
Come out of the loud crowd,
beautiful one...show every apparent charm:
the delicacy of your womanly gesture;
and I'll reach out in kindness,
to subdue the fears of your first encounter!
Come out of the dim shadows,
incredible one, and accept my dance...
a request from my eager lips;
think of where we'd be tomorrow indeed,
when everyone has left and we ecstatically breath!
All the glamorous girls on the dance floor,
drinking heavily and laughing hysterically,
can't be compared to you; and what I'm looking for
is not just another amazing beauty,
but that certain winkle of shyness and more ingenuity!
Be that Cinderella missing her shoe, looking straight at me;
letting me gently slip it on,
so that this tender moment can become reality...
before our memorable, romantic night is gone,
and we'll remember nothing more than fantasy!
The happily ever after...
He searched the kingdom for a fortnight 'til all saddle sore and weary,
With his eyes bloodshot and bleary,
The prince arrived at the last door.
He found two sisters, far too ugly, and an even uglier mother,
And asked himself why even bother,
This whole darn quest's become a bore.
Then from the kitchen came the vision he had searched so far and wide for.
He asked stepmother what she'd lied for
To say the three of them were all.
A flash, a crash, there was the gown, and then he saw her bare right flipper,
And on the left, a crystal slipper…
The girl he'd danced with at the ball.
The stepmother feigned regret that they had sadly so misjudged her,
T'was for her good that they'd begrudged her,
But to a prince one shouldn't lie.
On her wedding day the trio met the fate they should have dreaded,
They were arrested and beheaded,
And Cindy never blinked an eye.
The wedding feast and celebration were the grandest in the nation,
The king and queen felt jubilation,
Their son was "normal", after all.
They could retire and the crown would be passed down to their descendants,
Their kid, grandkids, and co-dependents,
They were so glad they'd had that ball.
But on their wedding night the prince confirmed his sexual confusion,
And forced them both to the conclusion,
Theirs was no fairy tale romance.
But still they made the marriage work, although they had no little nippers,
Sometimes he wore her gown and slippers,
And Cinderella wore the pants.
So, in conclusion, Cinderella got her semi-happy ending,
In spite of all the rules I'm bending
To tell her tale and make it new.
It wasn't meant to be so grand,
But what my muse commands, I do,
And now in bidding fond adieu,
My hat is off to those of you
Who stuck it out and read it through.
The End
Black ship, kick the door!
Your language is dust
Cornered, sacred words
A forgotten sheep
Demanding a shift
Thunderstorm clouds attend
No one will notice, in the end
Incomplete carcasses
Diamond worm domain
In your prism-like universe
Fed on geometric shapes
Rhyme that door!
Run away!
Black ship, sail!
Smashing broccoli heads
Reach the portal in the rain
Floating bowl on cosmic haystacks
Look it up with my velvet spoon
Then join the silk, sonic blast
On the roof
Oh, but your hands are tied!
Symbiosis shall come in hand
Blow my steps way up high
(Balloons and thread look alike
When papered by fish in flight)
Spider my past into the air
And I shall take you there
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