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Best Silly Poems

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See also: Best Famous Poems

Details | Silly Poem | |

23 warning signs that you are severely addicted to poetrysoup dot com



1) Since you have such a crazy drive to post every thought which goes through your mind, you consider posting your grocery lists.

2) You come up with another lame senryu just to post something new(and create a cheap entry for yet another contest).

3) Even though you post everything which comes to mind, post 3+ poems per day, every day, you believe all of your posts to be exemplary pieces.

4) (in relation to #3) You believe all of the "This is a masterpiece!" comments left on your poems, to be completely sincere.

5) You have the tendency to ignore that you are nearing 60 years of age. You put up avatars of yourself, circa 1971, and flirt with nearly every Souper below the supposed age of 30.

6) Instead of having a romantic evening with your significant other, you end up surfing the Soup blogs and drooling over member avatars.

7) After being single for 15 years, a completely compatible person asks you on a date. You decline the offer, end up surfing the Soup blogs and drooling over member avatars.

8) The admin makes an announcement concerning site maintenance, how the site might be down for 24 hrs -- upon reading the announcement, your stomach drops-out, you are filled with a phantasmagoric sense of doom which escalates into a bout of nihilism so strong, you consider methadone treatment to prepare yourself for the upcoming site-shutdown.

9) You begin methadone treatment in preparation for the two hours you will be away from the Soup(and awake)attending your best friend's funeral.

10) Your sleep-time has drastically altered to less than 4 hours of sleep per night. This is for various reasons, one of these being that every week you feel the need to leave a minimum of 1000 comments on poems, so whenever you post something new, the 'return' comments on said post, help push it up the 'Top 100 Recent Poems' list. You consider this to be an accomplishment akin to winning the Nobel Prize in Literature. You are awesome.

11) Instead of watching your favourite soap opera on the booby, you follow the soaps happening between Soupers in the blogs.

12) Every time you get a splinter, you have a strong urge to put up a blog about it to gain support and sympathy during your ordeal.

13) You put up blogs telling members that you are going to be 'gone' for 2 days, and apologize for not "being there for everyone" while away from the site.

14) After not seeing daylight for months on end, you put up a blog about seeing the most amazing thing .... you finally went outside and saw this blazing orb in the .... in the .... in the whatchamacallit, sky?

15) You forget to say "Merry Christmas!" to your family at home, but 'say' it in the Christmas blog that you put up on the Soup.

16) You forget your significant other's Birthday, but remember the Birthday of your favourite 'platonic' Souper.

17) Whenever you see or hear the word "Soup", your palms become itchy and you can barely contain yourself from using a computer/phone to login to poetrysoup.com.

18) You believe that if a poem rhymes, it is automatically a decently written poem.

19) In desperation, your family members and friends create accounts on the Soup, believing this to be the only way left to interact with you. In return, you have your account deleted and open a new one under an assumed pen-name.

20) You make the rounds each new day leaving "Good Morning!" comments on your friend's poems.

21) You go on vacation to an exotic beach location. The weather is gorgeous. The water is wonderfully warm. The sand is splendid. You don't swim in the wonderfully warm water. You don't take in the sights of the beach. You barely even notice the beach. Instead, you log onto the Soup via your laptop/phone.

22) Your children are hungry. You barely even know who your children are anymore. You don't care. *click* *clickety-click*

23) Your significant other finally offers to "do THAT thing"(yes, THAT one!)you've always fantasized him/her doing with you, but until now, he/she has always refused to fulfill for you. Now .... you don't care. *click* *clickety-click* 










+/-

Details | Silly Poem | |

Stop Eyeing My Candy

Clothes all clean
but the washing machine
ate up all my panties.

Raced to the store 
to buy some more,
But bought instead some brandy.

Stopped at a shop
for a lollipop;
a treat I find so dandy.

My skirt fell down
In the middle of town.
Now everyone's eyeing my candy!

Details | Silly Poem | |

DON'T BE A SILLY DONKEY THIS YEAR

Little donkey Legs are wonky He’s been on the beer Little donkey He’s gone wonky Full of Christmas cheer Been a long night little donkey You need to sober up If he arrives on your doorstep Be warned that he’s half cut Little donkey Eyes gone wonky He’s had too much beer If he heads to drive a vehicle We have much to fear Any one who drinks and drives …. really is an ass Jan Allison 20th December 2014

Details | Silly Poem | |

Bullet Proof

                     Bullet Proof

If I was a bullet I would travel real fast
Take showers in the past
Use gun powder to keep me dry
Shop at Target
And avoid people at all cost
If I was a bullet I would buy a gun
A small one, for company
Challenge Superman to a race
Or simply let him leap tall buildings, if he were so inclined
As I leap to my own conclusions by his side
If I was a bullet I would go to Mexico
Drink tequila real slow to get inebriated 
Finish off bottles of 90 proof vodka to prove a point
That I can become bullet proof in any old joint


9/01/14 The Poet - Poetry contest

Details | Silly Poem | |

SLY FOX

~SLY FOX~

There you go again little Sly fox P.D.
Another game of tag and jeopardy.
Clever, clever, little fox so bloodthirsty.
Chaos roams through your veins of liberty.
You walk the ground, prancing around your hostility.
Marching down with the dignity of mis-guided anarchy.

I'm gonna hunt you smell end it well.
Hang you up from your trophy tail. 
Kiss your night one last farewell.
By morning dawn your foxy tail,
Won't live another tale to tell.

I'm gonna find ya' ~ pull your hideout from where you hide.
Smack you around in your everyday rebellious ways.
Thinking you can defeat my crowd with your lawlessness..
I don't need no hounds to track your unlivable Holy-mess.
You created a selfish character of kindness for the blindness.
You prey on the sheep's and linger on their wall of hopelessness. 
Your sinfulness grew from the boldness, and bitterness, 
Of growing up parent-less.
My dear Sly Fox are you on alert with your ears of nobleness.
Did you not hear me creeping while you were sleeping.

Sly fox the destroyer!

You are right, you are a mischievous game of hunt!
My trap is set and waiting for you by the river front.
Go ahead, take a drink, pull one last obnoxious stunt.
Run and run, as fast as you can!
You can't out run this one game of Skitty Skat fox hunt.....


~SKAT~
 
 

Details | Silly Poem | |

Chicken Cot UFO

Chicken Cot UFO

It crossed the gloaming skies above the roofs,
in awe we followed then, its jazzy course;
mysterious would be the incensed spoofs
this ireful ship, upon us, would enforce.

Hmm..
..We said! Abominable was the ship
that traced its gaudy eights in air with hum;
predestined to avenge our ego trip,
atrocious poulets, would not succumb.

The chicken soldiers were a frightful troop
in pink-pistachio uniforms with spots,
that insolent, bombarded us with moop,
to hit our heads that were devoid of thoughts.

In order to placate the chicken troop,
some started to recite their verse to skies;
confronting that attacking chicken group,
- bird poems they opposed to battle cries.

The angry war-birds listened to the verse,
that was composed by stunned, exposed confreres,
their cackle was bemocking and adverse,
- upon their heads they wore rouge voluperes.

This myth reflected what would happen if
extraterrestrial cots invaded Earth,
relentless chicken-birds in martial tiff
would moop upon some artists of top worth.

© 12/11/2013, G. Venetopoulos

moop = Matter Out Of Place

Details | Silly Poem | |

Tattered Jeans and Old T-shirts

That day by the lake,
tattered jeans and old t-shirts,
my hand in your back pocket as we walked,
your thumb
hooked over the top of my waistband.
It was hot,
...damned hot.

You tilted your hat at a silly angle and laughed,
I looked over and thought
'Hot,
...damned hot'

Smiles exchanged and then a kiss,
I think I melted inside.
We took turns walking backwards
holding both hands
drinking in the sight of each other.

Of course we fell,
you to the floor
and me...
     
completely in love.

Making a frame with my hands,
a captured moment,
'smile for the camera'
and what a smile it was.

Sitting together in the long grass,
both our hats at silly angles,
you made a frame in front of us,
as I kissed your cheek,
and captured a memory.

Images stored safely in my jeans pocket,
not the one with the hole,
that day by the lake...
it was perfect.

Only now I realise
one camera never worked.
The image of you, still vibrant
as that day,
but the one of us
you made with your hands
faded to barely a whisper.

That day by the lake
we both fell...
but only one fell in love. 




Details | Silly Poem | |

Dancing Fool

Auntie Matilda is a dancing fool.
She took lessons at a discount dance school.
When she does the hippity hop,
even babies beg her to stop;
but Matilda’s dancing makes old men drool.

Details | Silly Poem | |

Crazy Thoughts No 1

Why do they call it 'tourist season'
If you're not allowed to shoot 'em
Seems like a great opportunity
To end the over crowding problem

If a house fly loses both of its wings
Would we have to call them 'walks'
Is it possible to have a civil war
Of course not that's just silly talk

Any idea what the best thing was
That came before sliced bread
If a turtle somehow loses its shell
Is it homeless, naked, or dead

I find this saying quite unnerving
“Practice” is what doctors do
And braille on drive-through windows
Find that kinda scary don't you

If a parsley farmer ever gets sued
Can they legally garnish his wages
Well that's enough of this silly talk
At times I go through these phases

© Jack Ellison 2012

Details | Silly Poem | |

Silly Rhyme

Little Miss Dumpty, satin and all
went to great London - to the Queen's ball.
With Prince she was smitten
but then lost her mitten -
frightened away, she had a great fall.

Details | Silly Poem | |

Welcome to my Bio

Brenda Gail 
I am Compassionate, love and breathe poetry, humorous and a peace maker.
Sister of Patti Lynne, Paul, David and Beth.
I love children (more), I love to sing in a choir and have a song for just about everything. I love to make others happy.
I feel loved, appreciated and very blessed.
I fear not being healthy enough to make it to my son’s wedding, getting sick this winter and losing my mom.
I’d love to be able to travel again, walk around a mall, and would love to be in a poetry slam.
Living in the GTA Greater Toronto Area, Ontario.
Meier-Hans 

Written by Brenda Meier-Hans 
10.13.2014
Regina Riddles Contest: Bio Poems
1st

Details | Silly Poem | |

Vase Dream - c'est la vie

       Vase Dream - c'est la vie 

White vase with no design
Dangling there - c'est la vie 
I think somewhere in Center City
Apart from everything
In an apartment rising skyward
Lingering on the edge of ledge
Standing tall atop a railing raw
Languishing over the 20th Floor
Or there about
And more - c'est la vie 
The balcony did its’ best of course
Displaying the fragile curves
Morning sun light danced approval
Around bouncing beams above the surface
But nothing could stop a soft breeze from… 
Poof!.....And off  it went… c'est la vie 
An alert French man
Pastry smile and all
Happened along
With left handed nimble fingers caressing a Beaujolais 42
The other hand stretched out with stress
As if to field an errant football pass
And in that chance encounter…Catch!...
Tumbling to concrete boundaries down
Bottle released in a wincing crash
Ground favored his mortal urgency
Pottery saved - c'est la vie 
Intact
French man’s head cracked
Let’s say opened 
Something like an egg
A natural death ensued - c'est la vie   
A passer-by seized the moment
Lifted vase and fled
Made off down and dirty
An ally
Another fate for vase awaits
Less encumbered
In a land far away
To dream of ledges - c'est la vie 
If so inclined   
Or so designed
 

Modified on 10/21/14 for - c'est la vie - Poetry Contest
 

Details | Silly Poem | |

Kiddie's Corner

Good morning, good morning, girls and boys
I hope you brought your Disney toys

Gather round in a circle close
Lets sing about the ones we love the most


Mickey, Mickey, your so cute and small
We love you the best of all

Donald Duck with his ducklings three
Dressed the same are his family

     Children, children wave your hands
     Close you eyes we're in Disney Land

Pluto, Pluto your silly and daft
You sure do make us laugh

It's time to count, lets have some fun
The Seven Dwarfs, seven back to one

     Children, children wave your hands
     Close you eyes we're in Disney Land

Dumbo flaps his ears and flies
Pinocchio's nose grows telling silly lies

Let all skip to Wonderland
Holding Alice's hands, going hand in hand

     Children, children wave your hands
     Close you eyes we're in Disney Land

     Children, children wave your hands
     Close you eyes we're in Disney Land







http://www.thehighlanderspoems.com/childrens.php

Details | Silly Poem | |

Willy


There's a monster beneath my bed
At least that’s what brother said
Mom said-" now that’s just silly
You know your brother Willy,
He just tries to make you shiver"
"But Wlly said it 'd eat my liver !"
You know I couldn’t go to sleep
In case the monster made a peep
And sure enough, round midnight
The monster gave me a terrible fright
The thing let out an awful roar
And pounded on the bedroom floor
Then the monster began to giggle
And my whole bed began to jiggle
You guessed it, out popped Willy
The smack I gave him was a dilly,,,

We're grown now, its been awhile
But silly Willy still makes me smile..




Details | Silly Poem | |

Painting The House

Summer’s winding down, it’s chillier with the new born morning dew.
So I ran out to finish painting my house, before caught in winter’s Noose.
Yeah! I DO procrastinate. It’s true! But there’s a Gall-Darn reason why!
His name is Dragon… Yes-sir-eeedie! And when he helps… Oh My!
So be forewarned, as soon there’ll be paint, found clear up to the moon! 

The first thing was the ladder…He knocked it down once or twice! 
Grandpa Troll finally, locked it in place. Now isn’t that really nice! <3
Fortunately, I’d already finished way up high, earlier in the spring. 
The penguins painted the lower parts as they made their brushes sing.
And Dragon lifted them up on his tail for another section. How sweet!

But if he can work so well with the penguins, just why did he have to… 
Knock me of my ladder, twice? A tail cramp he stated but… Honestly!
Do you believe that? Oh My? But things got worse as I spilled some paint…
On his head… It was just a drop or two. Honestly! Sorry, was what I said! 
He wiped it from his face, head, and topknot plus all that bling he wears!

But did Dragon believe me? Not on your life! But I got to hose him down.
Hey! That was fun! As we only use water based paint, with him around.
As he wiped it off his face and all he wore, I saw his eyes spark red, Darn!
Here we go, again! But EVERYONE knows not to duck beneath, my ladder.
Don’t you see! But as Dragon readied to singe my butt, a Priest came forth! 

He’d stopped by, to bless our house, just then. Now wasn’t that So Very Sweet!
I’m no dummy and asked people over, to distract Dragon, one by one, you see!
Ambulance drivers arrived to say hello! The police sold us tickets, to their ball! 
But the best thing of all, they helped paint our house. Done with brotherly love! 
We even trimmed the house in cute little penguin feet! And I turned to see…

Dragon feet going up a very tall tree. We’ll keep them. What do you think?
As a conversational piece! Then the firemen barbecued everyone some lunch.
As we got out our telescope to check the moon for Dragon paws… Sure Nuff!
They were really there! I secretly, think the neighbor witch had been involved.
I know sure well, some agency will call! I say, let THEM go wash them off! 

Now September has officially become the Dragon moon. Stop by to celebrate! 
The whole town’s here! Let the block party resume! Come on Y’all partake!
 

Details | Silly Poem | |

Where Do Frogs Go To Think

WHERE DO FROGS GO TO THINK?


Where do frogs go when they need to think?
I've often wondered where.
When they're not feeling quite in the pink
do they hide under the stairs?

Do they feel like they must follow rules
and stick to a Lilly pad?
Or can they hide in a shed full of tools
when they are feeling sad?

What if a frog felt like being alone
away from his froggy friends
Where could he go to be unknown?
Well, I guess that depends.

He couldn't go to the circus or show,
he would never be sold a seat,
he would not like a plateau of cold snow
it would be very tough on his feet.

French restaurants are not the place for him,
and he would not like to see a bait shop
but he might make some friends over at the gym
and he would be a big hit at the hop!

He could go to the library, its quiet in there
maybe catch up on some old books.
Or he could ask the beavers to share their lair,
he tried the geese and got some funny looks.

It needs to be safe, it needs to be quiet,
it needs to be worry free,
he needs to have access to his daily diet
of flies, bugs, worms, and bees.

Maybe under some roots, or the edge of a bog,
some place that might make him glad,
side of a meadow, or an old rotten log,
or even his own lilly pad.

And what would a frog think about,
when they take the time?
Do they think about flies, or avoiding trout?
That is a question for another rhyme.

Details | Silly Poem | |

WEIRD SCIENCE

* Weird  Science *

With pens he walks
Pocket Protectors to protect his chest
Taped up glasses on his face
Pull his pants down, call him a GEEK a NERD
Science -relativity theory and it's light speed from space
Experiment this- discover that, is how scientist rant
Brainy cats have so many open portals in their minds
You talk down to us as if we carry the brains of a bird
Do you really think we are all blind, 
for not caring over the objectives  principles of the Heisenberg?

You passed  each and ever single science fairs in class
Feeding your ego collecting dots 
After school you earned the right when a bully kicked your a$$!
A DORK calling your self the Math Magician King
Burning and crashing our minds explaining the physics of dying fast 
Using your Quantum Leap that our universe comes with a destiny string

No desire to be wired who needs your further scientific understanding
Life comes with a pattern in which we once lived electricity free
Ironically your scientific process of defining itself continues to expand
Supported by the measurements and masses only you NERDS understand
The power points of our so called energy,
is pointless to me like our so called gravity.
The tale you spin is not of love but a twisted one of insanity

God is the only scientific knowledge I want to perceive!
All you so called scientist, riding the lightning like Benjamin F.  
Take the bolt and tie it like a noose around your neck
Following your own perception while you feed off the sheep
Here you come to emerge to discipline us with your mind of a genius
You come and you bash us with NERD brain waves to explain! 
That this world revolves around the elements and laws of scientific claims

Research this- research that- who gives a cr@p we still die at the end
While life continues, to grow and manipulate our fate, about the universe
Unsolved facts about Einstein, who left his velocity of change for us to comprehend.
Instead of trying to rule the world, explain the facts why things keep getting worse?
Over exaggerating the excitement of an Ancient Mayan 2012 discovery curse.
Bottom line you scientific  quacks,
the real Celestial body is found on the bottom of my crack.

By; P.D.            ( LOL, I love Science )

Details | Silly Poem | |

A Naughty Twist to an Old Rhyme

The Build UP

One two…I want you
Three four...Kiss me more
Five six…tasty licks
Seven eight…I can’t wait
Nine ten…Come again!

The Cool Down? ;)

Ten, nine…that was fine
Eight, seven…still in heaven
Six, five….I feel alive
Four, three…more for me
Two, one…I’m undone!

Eileen Manassian Ghali

Details | Silly Poem | |

That Silly Old Hat Of Yours

Oh, how could I ever be bored?
When I had such interesting chores.

I had to paint our bedroom door,
Then mop the grand, speckled floor.

Walked quickly down to the shore,
And dug hidden clams with the oar.

Made a tasty clam-supper for four,
Then into their big bowls I poured.

Knowing, they would yell for more,
Prompting my tender voice to roar -

All gone, there's more at the store!
Or take a lantern to search the shore.

However, they cost more at the store,
But not a penny, to dig with the oar.

Oh, I'm sure you will not get bored,
Performing such an interesting chore.

For soon in bed, I will sweetly snore,
With a sound much louder than yours.

Last night the paint actually, tore,
From the ceiling and door, it poured.

And that is why, I happily wore,
That Silly Old Hat Of Yours.

Details | Silly Poem | |

To be silly with-

I would love to swim to the 'Guilamine' in the skin
Or dance on a carpet of sheer pleasure
I might like an ice-cream cone on the way
Topped with pink and golden treasure.
I would enjoy a drink made of sparkles
That might light up with yellow-red magic
My dreary grey-blue life – and then
I would anticipate with joy an umbrella
Made of silk and maidenhair fern
To be silly with – 





Details | Silly Poem | |

This silly thing called Love

Craze comes out of barrel of joy,
Joy, what makes you behave coy,
Coyness, a thing that would get a toy
From the soul, hands of a smart lil' boy

That his head bobs in saving his mother,
Mother, the filial original not really similar
Similar? To the father, rasp voice that quiver
From the garden of marital rupture. It'ld linger

Over the elms of gut, ebbing with the tide
Of bliss ended. Never should beings all hide
The love, warmth of family. Filial code to side
A broken china, a shattered shuttle that'ld bide

Brittle bliss. Come in the evenings and laugh
At the debris of the drum, a rumble of cough
Upon anodyne ruble of ruin. Feed from trough
O! Love if you aren't life. Then live quickly, rough.

Details | Silly Poem | |

Treasures of my soul

Treasures of my soul

One day I had an old age moment
My world went kind of crazy
I really wasn’t thinking straight
My mind went kind of hazy
I gave away all worldly goods
And left loved ones behind
Looking for that greener grass
That most do never find.

I spent a year just hanging there
In  a  nowhere kind of land
What had happened in my mind
I did not understand
But soon my soul was called on back
To the wife I’d left behind
My darling one let me return
She was sweet, and she was kind.

That night I held her in my arms
As her tears just fell, and fell
My heart just bled, my soul screamed out
I knew I loved her well
This lady who would die for me
She cried into my soul
That day my world was born again
My being felt more whole.

Now as I write these words, the tears
Are streaming down my face
And yet these tears come from my soul
These tears are filled with grace
Because that day my lady cried
My life was turned around
I live now just to love that lady
Through this such joy I've found.

27 July 2013 @ 0405hrs.

Details | Silly Poem | |

Woosh vs Zroooom--a limerick joke

A vacuum cleaner should glide
And relief from messes provide
It is quite unlike
Harley Davidson's bike
Since the dirtbag's on the inside



Author's note: Someone told me this vapid joke at work today, so I framed it as above--enjoy!

Details | Silly Poem | |

a really bad love poem

 
when you're in love you write really bad love poetry when you love a woman you want to relive with her every great moment you ever had both of them. clouds look like hearts, and a few look like ducks you know, quack, quack ducks. if you love someone, you walk into the wrong house you stain your tie during lunch you walk into people (a big guy peoples, he's not happy you run...really fast) to a man in love roses look perfect even if they're tulips ...sorry honey. you build a white picket fence with the pickets wrong side up when you love someone you take out the trash from someone else's house when you love someone you quit your job as a superhero you get rid of your trusty sidekick you give away your bat mobile you give your arch nemesis the bad news. you write goofy stuff, and mickey stuff too. i'm in love so i write really bad love poetry really? really! really? really, i'm in love, so sue me!

Details | Silly Poem | |

Affirmative Defense

Abel Cade got into a real deep blue funk,
Stumbled upon a road kill and ate the dang skunk,
Was right soon arrested by a passing Smokey,
Who threw his sorry behind in the local pokey.
Abel’s defense: “Don’t pick on me, can’t you see I’m drunk.”