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Animal Magnetism

Andrea Dietrich Avatar Andrea Dietrich - LIFETIME Premium Member Andrea Dietrich - Premium MemberPremium Member Send Soup Mail Go to Poets Blog Block poet from commenting on your poetry

Below is the poem entitled Animal Magnetism which was written by poet Andrea Dietrich. Please feel free to comment on this poem. However, please remember, PoetrySoup is a place of encouragement and growth.

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Animal Magnetism

A pet more exotic I'd wanted.
A pet to be groomed and then flaunted.
Not a dog or a cat -
Something cooler than that!
I began my search feeling undaunted

In a pet store I came on a ferret.
Such a pain he was! How did I bear it?
Under doors and through cracks
He'd escape from me. AAAACH!!
So I traded him in for a parrot.

Well, the parrot just wanted to fly!
And that bird knew more bad words than I.
When he called me a whore,
I threw open the door:
“Now you’re getting your wish, Bird. BYE BYE!

A boa constrictor I bought,
He’d like to be cuddled, I thought,
But he wrapped and he squeezed,
As I gasped and I wheezed,
And offered the rat that I’d caught.
A bowl of piranha I won -
I played Baccarat with a nun -
And they wiggled their bums,
So I tickled their tums,
But bones ’stead of fingers aint fun.

My elderly aunt sent a text,
Suggesting tarantulas next,
But my spider alas,
Took a bite of my ass:
My pet-owning hobby is hexed.

I went to the pet shop, I swear,
But nothing I wanted was there -
To my pets I am prey,
So I went on eBay,
And purchased a big teddy bear.

For the "Grab a Partner" Contest. To see
who I collaborated with, read my comment
under the poem.

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  1. Date: 7/14/2015 10:44:00 AM
    LOL! I SOO loved this Andie! MY fav is the one about the piranha! hahaha...! Of course, my capcha is WHA...ahahaah

  1. Date: 5/14/2014 10:29:00 PM
    I love the ending of this funny poem. I to will only get a teddy bear. Had pets over the years and now just want a cuddly bear. LOL love phyl

  1. Date: 2/26/2014 3:23:00 AM
    I trust this did well in the comp. What fun, you've both created an excellent piece. It's off to my favs, in readiness for tweeting.

    thirtyseven Avatar scott thirtyseven
    Date: 2/28/2014 4:09:00 PM Block poet from commenting on your poetry

    My internet has suddenly decided to go slow of course. But here we go you are number 3. Tweets away...
  1. Date: 2/24/2014 2:15:00 PM
    That was funny Andrea. I busted out laughing several times. There's not much humor in poetry, especially mine. Yet I love to laugh and that was funny. Great job. Take care.

  1. Date: 2/19/2014 12:33:00 PM
    LOL! This is brilliant! So imaginative. Your wit is rapier sharp. Kudos, Andrea; a pleasure to read :)

  1. Date: 2/18/2014 9:55:00 AM
    These will win for sure. I love your bony fingers one, the rest also. LOve, daver

  1. Date: 2/11/2014 6:36:00 PM
    Awesome win..Sara

  1. Date: 2/11/2014 11:09:00 AM
    Congrats on your win Andrea

  1. Date: 2/11/2014 10:48:00 AM
    Andrea, a delightful and hilarious write by you and Jack. Hope all is well with you. Hugs

  1. Date: 2/11/2014 10:42:00 AM
    Really enjoyed this Andrea, You should do more Limericks..' great fun to read I shall send you a soup mail now..'

  1. Date: 2/11/2014 7:14:00 AM
    GREAT, I reall...lllly enjoyed this one. Fun filled.............. congrats.

  1. Date: 2/10/2014 4:19:00 PM
    Andrea I love all of this and you and Jack did a great job, it is as a limerick should be....David

  1. Date: 2/10/2014 11:59:00 AM
    Very funny stuff Andrea! We had a hamster in the house once but my dog ate it....whoops

  1. Date: 2/9/2014 7:07:00 PM
    This poetic form I difficult to write but you have done justice to this piece. I enjoyed it and chuckled a bit. Very entertaining.

  1. Date: 2/9/2014 12:33:00 PM
    I see that you teamed with Jack..These were very good Limericks..I enjoyed reading each one of them..Sara

  1. Date: 2/9/2014 7:11:00 AM
    This is so funny! You and Jack did a fantastic job. I am an animal lover but there are some I won't go near, and most of them are here!

  1. Date: 2/8/2014 10:43:00 PM
    Pure genius I loved it . Daz

  1. Date: 2/8/2014 7:27:00 PM
    Don't think I've enjoyed a limeick more. Love the risqueness of it. You could never tell where you and Jack began and ended. Awsome!!!! Peace. :)

  1. Date: 2/8/2014 7:13:00 AM
    Andrea this is hilarious..I love it...

  1. Date: 2/8/2014 2:00:00 AM
    I like your rhymes...give a man a second poetry... Eve and I are old souls, we are not new to the world, but we are new to the Poetry Soup...thanx for visiting...