Was hoping she'd touch my very soul
But, my blind date trudged just like a troll
She flipped me on my back
And gripped me by the sack
"Cough!...Let's keep "this" on the barber pole!"
Then she rode me hard, like Man o' War
Spurs were flyin', cryin' sparks galore
Thank God for Doctor Bliss
A penicillin kiss
Her love keeps you comin' back for more
The trolls that haunt this site
and think they're always right,
who bully, b itch and moan
are rotten to the bone.
I find it hard to hide my smirks
as they're a freaky load of jerks.
No hint of humor there
but I don't really care;
I shake my head, I'm numb
(I'd hate to be so dumb).
I find it hard to hide my smirks
as they're a freaky load of jerks.
I wonder are they mad,
or simply rather sad
with lives that failed to be,
just bitter jealousy?
I find it hard to hide my smirks
as they're a freaky load of jerks.
I do not read their trash:
so arrogant and brash,
and comments meant to sting
will make my spirit sing:
I find it hard to hide my smirks
as they're a freaky load of jerks...
yes, they're a freaky load of jerks!
I never knew some girls could be so mean
and carry on like a trans high school teen.
It sure ain’t raging hormones
cos this coven are old crones
who crave attention and wish to be seen!
So I shall grant them that wish they so crave
and make ‘em my witch ‘n make ‘em my slave.
I will immortalise ‘em
with my satirical pen
until they want more and make me their fave!
(I think I already am)
Written March 2025
Lurking behind false identities
And faceless names
They launch a venomous attack
Pulling you down the road to defame
Their malicious intent to vilify your name
Is a vicious and preposterous game
Shameless trolls are a sadistic ploy
Often media houses deploy
they live in the toadstools of Venue Valley
materializing only when wanting to do mischief
or to frighten a superstitious human
I heard them giggling once,
but they did not appear to me
trolls are fearful of redheaded girls
We have a reputation of turning them into toads
or bats, cats, snakes or worse
it is our Celtic heritage on speed
come on out! I teased them
there was stony silence
I knew then how they feared me
it made me feel superior to trolls
on Wednesday I blew away and it was a delight.
north wind picked me up and carried me out of sight.
I landed in troll village, and they declared me bright.
Voted me mayor, were all impressed with my height.
I was a head-turner, caused a riot, and a fight.
Promised them I will be back again on Friday night.
Some of the most charming people in the world
are trolls with mean dispositions they hide for months at a time
They like to date lively, joyful, women
These charmers are lovely; saying the right things
Tricking these women into falling in love with them
After they capture these women, they attempt to isolate them
Doing their best to keep them from their families and loved ones
Stating their friends are not “good enough” for them
Making fun of their woman if she wants to see her “mommy” or “sisters”
Beware of anyone who wants to isolate you.
They might smile, and you might have seen charm from them
But beware. Abusers and trolls smile too.
Knocking on doors, people to meet,
house after house, street after street,
keeping going, day after day,
whatever polls or trolls might say,
there's not much time for resting feet.
Car park selfies, the meet and greet,
sharing stickers and printed sheets,
no time to waste, there’s no delay,
knocking on doors.
Sunshine, showers, rinse then repeat,
change is never an easy feat,
when the future is all in play,
but we’ll turn corners, come what may,
walking, talking, to win this seat,
knocking on doors.
Everyday, from time to time
They do things that do not rhyme
To and fro without a cause
Barking bitterness without a pause
They're like pests on a plant
Or like ants in the pants
Doing nothing but to bite
Bringing nothing but blight
Jabbering from here to there
Jabbering everywhere
They know nothing but to bark
Like old parrots on the park
I don't know if it's productive
Doing just things that are destructive
Minding things out of their concern
But their own lives, they can't discern
Yes, I know fetid air has been filtering in
Everyone around chokes on the stench,
sour gin disguised as sweet words
from the mouth of the depraved, loving sin
one can never smother foul barnyard scents
It would take a thousand fragrant candles
to burn the donkey's ass
and get rid of the offensive odor and smelly gas
I sincerely wish this community
could become a site with more class
Will the rancid winds change direction
so the fumes of cow dung
stink up another pasture?
Something needs a serious correction
so, the sweet scent of roses once more
permeates the garden of poetry
poets dancing in harmony galore
Three old trolls looked for a wife.
One to keep the rest of their life.
They decided they wanted to share one.
A woman who can cook said the troll who was fun.
A woman who was jolly and fine said Jimmy Whine.
A woman who wants me to make her mine.
I just want one who likes counting toes.
Said the grumpy troll with the dripping nose.
two of the happiest most colorful trolls of the hour
came by in a wheelbarrow and picked up a flower
I watched them and smiled, they were having such fun.
one of them fell out and landed smack on his bum.
they both thought this was a hoot, and laughed merrily.
I ran out and asked if either would like Georgia peach tea.
they ran off giggling, but did not answer me at all.
my pink zinnias told me it is because I am a monster at five feet tall.
They were gnarly and snarly and mean with sticking out tummies.
I think they are horrible, nasty, mean, and maybe they’re dummies.
That is not a nice way to be, my mother told me, give them a chance.
I crept up on them and watched while they did a tiny troll-like dance.
Their bare feet were joyful, they were uninhibited and wild.
We think she is pretty, that happy tiny girl child.
I realized then they were referring to me.
So, I decided there was more to the trolls that I usually see.
They laughed, and they snorted, they coughed milk out their nose.
They hooted and hollered, and they picked their teeth with their toes.
They are so outrageous, but incredibly kind, and totally sweet.
Now I hang out with them every chance I get except when I eat.
It’s said that there are people,
who live Beneath the ground.
Deep within Earth’s middle,
little folks can be found.
Not Leprechauns or Gnomes with tempers;
no Elves or Trolls, are to be seen.
I’m told, they have some ghastly tempers;
when prying eyes won’t leave them be.
They often wander up above
to play with human minds.
mess with them and get rebuffed;
they simply are not kind.
So, let them be, those beings old;
you’re safest if you’re not too bold.
Spare me the agonizing of disaffected trolls
Who find nothing of substance worthy of note,
Desperately seeking a modicum of control
Their unconcealed nastiness a matter of rote.
Have they nothing better to do with their time
Than to criticize the successes of legitimate poets
Who, themselves, have difficulty making a rhyme,
But coming up with a dig, they promptly throw it.
Let’s preserve Poetry Soup from this pitiful type
Who comes here only to stir and create turmoil,
Making sure not to give them impetus or hype
In another place may they find more welcome soil.
Doing all we can to maintain peace and goodwill
Let’s keep Poetry Soup free of fractious voices,
Being careful not to engage in avoidable overkill,
But never failing to silence disconcerting noises.
Written May 17, 2022
Sub Categories
Looking for the formal definition, structure, and history of this poetry form? Visit the Poetry Dictionary entry below. Then return to explore how PoetrySoup members bring the form to life through their own poems.