Trans Poems

An Ultimatum

An ultimatum stood at my door
And greeted me so fondly
To the tune of my thumping heartbeat.
"Live as I seem or die as I am"

The words had reverberated in my skull and rattled my bones-
Sick with grief and mourning
Of a life never lived,
A lick of air never tasted on a tongue of a new man-
Not man-soon-to-be,

Trans boy wants you to know

Trans boy wants you to know that Im a safe place,
Trans boy wants you to know that I went through female puberty and that I get it,
Trans boy wants you to know that Im just like other boys, I just have a female body,
Trans boy want you to know that I go by He/Him, not

I am a girl

I am a girl,
Everyone sees it.

I graciously accept the label,
Twirling in a girls spool,
And playing it up for others.

Sometimes I feel an itch,
In a place I can't reach.
There are times when it quells,
When my voice cracks,
And I am somewhere else.

Where my hair is to my neck,
And my voice bellows.
But I am brought back to reality,
Because

Trans Diagnostic Construct

A single thread, frayed by the wind,
Woven from sorrow, soaked in rain,
Trauma, a shadow that won’t rescind,
A silent ache, a voiceless pain.

In fractured glass, I see the sky,
Its jagged edge cuts through my eyes,
And though I reach, though I may try,
The light I feel slips far away.

Madness sings in cryptic tone,
A hymn of loss, a

Trans-parallel-Ans'

Are u hu-man? Or?
P C imam bot legese?
Woe-ad priest Par'i?

Seine fish (aroma) 
2000 years, new bottles old whine!
Crawling's not flying!!

mirroring

some days,
i wish i liked my reflection.
i wish that i didn't hesitate when saying my name,
afraid of that a look will make me take it back.
i wish i my name didn't feel like an alias,
that i didn't feel like a alien.

i wish i didn't choose their convenience
over my identity,
my truth,
me.
because now,
i look in the mirror

Phantom Pain

at night, when the blue moon calls out to all wild things, 
its azure a calming wave in the bottomless screaming night
I walk in time and with each furthering step,
sweeping strides
which pay more mind to any journey than its subsequent destination,
I wonder what translucent fish hook has ensnared me, finding myself dragged from bed each

Real me Part two

And I just want to be a woman 
But I feel too trapped in these four walls 
I can't break it 
I can't make it 
These traumas from family, school and life have scarred me 
Have shaped me 
Can't let it you see 
Because of all the things I have been through 
I know there

Real me Part one

Four walls are enticing 
Can't get out of my own head 
Who is that figure in the mirror? 
The face that haunts me 
Nimble and limp - I feel misplaced 
Envious and boiled and ready to put on simmer 
Want to circle up in a ball and just tear my hair out 
Can't get over

Don't associate

Boys will be boys 
Well, not this boy 
Don't want to 
Don't like to
Why do I have to

Don't associate 
It doesn't align  
Learnt differently 
Lived through my parents' eyes and expectations 
They became mine 

Fighting myself 
Hating myself 
Internal conflict 
It's a daily battle 

Bullied already 
Bullied at home 
Nowhere is safe 

Can't be

A Transmasc Experience

Never so scared
Chains on my chest
Can't hear me
Help
Help

I am exposed
I will be hurt
So obvious
So vulnerable

Panicking
Shutting down
Can't shut down
Have to go onstage
Can't go onstage
Shutting down
Can't shut down
Have to go onstage
Can't go onstage
Shutting down

One hour twenty minutes left
Please help
Please help
I'm stuck

I need my binder
I left it at home

Stimming Towards Euphoria

Stimming Towards Euphoria

She be riding on that trans train
Lost her wit and half her brain
Next time that I see her
She won't be the woman I know

All it took was a little gender education
The internet and affirming friends galore 
To make her see what she was meant to be
Cause she was born in the wrong body
She

Lesbian Betrayal

You told me a lie
You said that you were gay
Found out you were lying 
Now I’m feeling betrayed

Said you were a fem
And that you loved only women
Now you want to explore
That haughty trans woman

I’m hurting inside
Cause I loved the woman in you
Now you say it doesn’t matter
Cause it’s what they told you to do

Said you

I Hate Being Trans

I hate being trans. 

I hate repeating my name

i hate cutting my hair

I hate it when people tell me "they wish they had my chest"

and i hate it when people say to "look my best"

but my best isnt a suit and tie

my best is a dress.

i hate looking at people and thinking "i wonder if

True Trans To Paradigm

What do I project? Some of what I have
Absorbed. Also, that which I have
Reflected upon and have parts of rejected!
I am aware there is a so-called church of
The Devil – I am cognizant of the drivers for
Building
The British NHS were in the main committed
Christians. I am aware that Jimmy Saville
Was in his own words ‘operating

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