The seagulls circle me
They’re swallowed by their own greed;
I can’t trust them
They’ve been picking away at my appetite,
I’m starved.
I haven’t wanted to eat in days.
They’ve taken everything from me.
My lungs hold air no more,
The seagulls have punctured them
All I can do is lie here
Skin on bone
They picked at my heart.
It aches
All it does is ache
It hasn't stopped
Every beat pumps me with dread
I feel sick
I feel like throwing up every word I've written about you.
It's your fault I'm here
You gave me the bird seed
And I trusted you enough to listen when you told me where to stand
Now I'm lying on the ground.
The surface of my flesh is uneven.
There are pieces missing
I tried to stand
I tried,
I really did
Swaying,
Unbalanced,
I fell back to the ground
I give up
I'll die looking at the sky
Full of seagulls.
Romance To The Feeble-Minded
A sweetheart loved by every troop,
From distant lands, outside his group.
A decade’s bond, a quiet joy,
She bore his love a first-born boy.
Then fortune turned; he took the throne,
And wore a crown of steel and stone.
The state caught fire, the borders bled,
A butcher born, where mercy fled.
He turned his guns on her own race,
And wiped her memory from his face.
Severed the ties, forgot the child,
As war ran bloodthirsty and wild.
Ten years he ruled in blind deceit,
While terror marched upon the street.
An army wild he couldn't tame,
Three years of mayhem in his name.
His eldest son, a stranger grown
Unrecognized, ignored, unknown.
For eight and forty years of dread,
The general hid from son, his coward’s head.
No vision held, no focus clear,
A feeble mind led on by fear.
Too late the waking conscience stings;
Too late the courage power brings.
Unstable man, blind or visionless
Conscience- dead, tasteless and emotionless
Led his army into unnecessary blood bath
Even in his nineties, continued lying as from the birth
'Tis another sunrise, bright and yellow.
Yet the world that holds me feels so hollow.
My ev'ry breath is but an empty cask.
Yet ev'ry step I take bears a full flask.
Ev'ry thought that I hold makes the ground quake.
Ev'ry conviction makes the wide sky break.
The path I chose remained a cracked tankard.
Yet my journey is a brimming tankard.
All certainty dissolved, and naught remains.
Each thought gives birth to thought in endless chains.
My life is but a bottle with no hole.
I am the sot who wholly lacks control.
Who am I now to stay here, bound in doubt?
To drink, to think—and still to go without?
This was mine to hold
now it rests within your hands
take it where you choose
I release the reins to you
yet my fingerprints remain.
I leave you the key
hanging from an iron chain
let your will decide
which way and when to turn it
you know which way I would go.
I have said enough
old advice has stained the page
my will has faltered
I can't unring the bronze bell
nor choose which echoes to wake.
The secret has flown
once my tongue unlatched its cage
two shadows now fall
one behind the mouth that spoke
one before the ear that heard.
Freedom bruises hands
when offered in heavy chains
gift-wrapped as free will
demanding they themselves choose
what each cannot bare to lose.
I pass the ember
hand to hand in stark silence
none can keep the flame
alight abandoned in shame
when both wills are disowned.
Tried it all
Parents scared of my thoughts
Have a lot of lives
A past say; not exactly
At the end all come to a point
Wouldn't say talent or hidden either
A curse to me, didn't like the things.
Was not exactly a beginner
Never thought I had it in me
The freer the verse the deeper the cuts
Good for nothing; Yeah I was
Why care about people did they cry with you
Too much stress too little time
I want some, at least one to hear.
By Poet..... "Sometime life is unseen. What remains then shows up."
Over the many years,
pillows have been filled with tears.
Unseen dreams of attacking bears,
representing my many fears.
Now unseen what remains?
It is all locked away in my brains,
tied tight with heavy chains.
Sometimes red busting veins,
filling me with overwhelming pains.
Born frail
Through my wonder I wander and become pained
and rover subtly these days
Time polishes my brain,
Wisdom lies in the grave
I hate how easily
my heart turns a moment
into a catastrophe.
How a silence becomes abandonment,
a small disagreement becomes goodbye,
and one unanswered message
becomes proof that I was never enough.
I wish I could feel less.
Not because I don’t want to love,
but because sometimes loving
feels like standing barefoot
in the middle of broken glass.
I get angry.
I get scared.
I say things I don’t mean
because I don’t know how to say
please don’t leave me.
And then I am alone with my thoughts,
turning every word against myself,
calling myself stupid
for having a heart
that refuses to be quiet.
But maybe I am not broken.
Maybe I am simply learning
that feeling deeply
doesn’t make me impossible to love.
Maybe I can be intense
and still be gentle.
Vulnerable
and still be strong.
Maybe someday
I will stop confusing
being afraid of losing someone
with already having lost them.
And tonight,
instead of punishing myself
for feeling too much,
I will let the feeling pass.
I will stay.
I will breathe.
And I will remind myself
that one difficult moment
does not get to decide
who I am.
A thief is one who takes without notice or permission
You are the biggest thief, no remorse, never caught
leaving brokenness, emptiness, depression and loneliness
with every robbery.
No one can ever reclaim or recover what you've taken as you
take from the young, the old, the rich, the poor, from the suburbs and the ghetto.
You don't care if they are white, black, red, yellow or brown.
No respect for any, never full, never enough, with greedy eyes
ever searching, hands grabbing and snatching the very air that we breathe
you are the biggest thief, no one likes you, but you don't care, you come again
and again leaving hearts shattered in pieces.
Not one day goes by that you rest as you take quickly and quietly stealing
hopes, dreams, and futures.
I will never understand why or when you take, or the extreme grief your leave
for us to carry and then you will come again until you take everything.
Death, Death, Death.
I have lived and learned,
and i thought i had earned
experience, strength,
and mental health.
But one more time,
i trusted and died.
I don´t want to hide,
i just want to be fine.
Once again people lied,
once again a had to cry.
I know it´s not my fault,
and that soon it will be in my past,
but it´s one more scar on my soul.
and probably wont be the last.
Everything is crushing down again,
his mind is gone and his body shakes.
I used to say he was like a ticking time bomb,
because we are just waiting, but it´s even harder on my mom.
Usually, he finds his way back,
But for us, it´s really hard.
And for me to help, I have to be tough,
But I only want to make him laugh.
I hope this time is no different
And that we can have some more time,
Before his mind becomes indifferent
And we can only say goodbye.
That fearful moment is getting closer,
But this time I think we are prepared,
We just hope it´s not too hard on her,
And that we can all just remember the moments we shared.
Now he is gone,
And we just have to go home,
Knowing he is in a better place now,
With no more suffering
And we have to learn to live without him somehow…
I love how deep your eyes are
and the spark they have in them
I love how big and your smile is
and the way it gets me
I love your thick, dark and curly hair
and how they move with you
I love your delicate soft hands
and how warm they are when you hug me
I love how caring you are
and always ask how I am doing
but above all i love the feeling i have
when I am around you
and even the feeling i have
when I think about the fact
that I’am never going to have you
but I’m always going to love you
There once lived a beautiful princess,
She was never afraid to run or ride,
She carried herself with benevolence and pride.
She had those gentle, charming eyes,
A face so naive, yet somehow wise.
She dreamt of doing only good,
And loved her people as she should.
She never longed for a throne so high,
Nor cared for jewels that money could buy.
She only wanted hearts that stayed,
And a better world that she could make.
She wanted to bring a change,
To mend a world that had gone strange.
So they sang, “Oh princess, wise and brave,
A heart so kind, a soul to save.”
But the men could not watch her fly,
They wished for her to fail and die.
They whispered softly behind the walls,
That kindness and equality could never conquer all.
They doubted her strength, pushed her away,
And slowly turned her light to grey.
Soon her voice grew soft and low,
Until no one could hear her anymore.
They threw her captive underground,
Where silence was the only sound.
She stood there strong, but not the same,
Her hope grew dim beneath the shame.
And then I opened my eyes, still thinking-
Weren’t fairytales supposed to have happy endings?
Poke and point and pince and prod
My penniless pockets
And a bra unable to uphold,
A breast to guarantee your rest
Lay in alleys in all your ailing worries
And sloughs of spittle
Splurged and purged b'neath your body.
Hold me, honour me,
Caress the cares entangled within my clumped hair
Harass the proficient proclamations of love,
Laying alongside my broken body.
I dare leer at the lies, leashing my soul to your life
For I do but believe
Boys breed bearded brawlers
And flesh too calloused to caress
And I vacate a vacuum
Of hands vying for the wet of my sex
And the sucking cumbersome succumbing
Salary, siezing a lustful lustre to shine 'pon my sultry gaze
I feel you near even when you're not here,
even when your face no longer lingers in my head,
when the wind no longer carries your scent,
and my body starts forgetting the feel
of your featherlight touch.
I feel your presence every single minute,
even your soft voice whispering in my ear.
I remember your smile,
the one that used to melt my heart,
and even your words that cut deep
and left a scar.
Yet I also remember the way
you used to gaze into my eyes,
as if I meant the world to you.
I remember how those glances
always made me fall in love with you,
and how, every single day,
I kept losing a little piece of you.
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