In my dreams, I walk a path,
Of sod and soil, rain's aftermath.
Tortured mask I've left behind, pieces of a former life.
My eyes are wide in tempoed stride,
Each step forward in all its grace,
Into the world I walk alone,
My heart beats silently.
Maybe heaven will smile today,
Through it all I keep my truth with liberty and poise.
I make no promise or fake disguise.
I am a soul in need of love.
A place that I call mine.
To walk among the crowds of man,
Without prejudice and pain.
In these fields of golden sun,
With history at my back,
Let shadows fall to crowded streets,
As I step across the track.
The mask that binds me now is shed,
With nothing but the glorious sky above.
For as I find my resting place,
Among the swaying blades of grass,
My tortured soul comes to rest in peace,
Heart and soul join in the music of the waves.
Coming Home
Sitting alone on the moving train, with heavy thoughts upon my brain.
The cabin lights begin to dim, I shed the ghost, I am not him.
My mind goes dark while the car stays lit, because I know the truth of it.
And as the driving rhythm rolls, I climb out of the ten-mile holes.
I claim my space and leave behind, the quiet wreckage of the mind.
I sift the ashes and the bone, for truths that I call my home.
Tonight I'll sleep in my own bed, without demons dancing in my head.
For tonight I swear the demon's lair, is no longer filled with Satan's air.
The remnants of the days gone by take yield to bluer skies,
and from the wreckage of the mind, the woman starts to rise.
I make no promise, I make no claim, the devil dwells in his domain.
To turn around and look for blue, where reddened skies are breaking through.
I know my heart, the battle's won, the heavy, bleeding work is done.
I leave behind the life I knew, and stand my ground, for I am true.
O Lord my God, the war is through, there's nothing left for me to do.
I wish the world could finally see, the truth that You have known in me.
Tibi fideliter,
Debra
Definition: programmed cell death/cellular suicide
in an attempt to remedy damaged components,
neatly shrinking and dismantling damaged parts.
A cognitive dissonant conscious
exists at a crossroads.
My mind fractures at the mere thought
of going back into the closet of deferred romantic pursuits,
even if hiding can ensure survival.
My dilemma encapsulates the quintessential concept of coming out.
Taking a step out of closeted comfortability
opens up the avenue for external toxicity,
while retreating into latent potential is
unintentional self-immolation.
Choosing integrity at all cost
Daring to expose her truth no matter what
Guts and courage to spare
Wordku: 5-7-5 words
AP: Honorable Mention 2025
Coming Out
Comfort and meaning can be found
In the draping of rainbow flags
And the joyous stupor of marching
Alongside understanding strangers.
Absolved of the sin of lying,
She now stands free.
A new kind of love blooms within her,
Big as a bright yellow sunflower
And purer than Alpine snow.
Anxiety
Breathe in, breathe out.
The crawling of the skin is real,
Repelled by the way
Prying eyes touch and poke and prod.
Even if nobody stares, everybody stares.
Breathe in, breathe in.
If she breathes out the skin will crawl again.
Breathe in, breathe in, breathe in,
And hold.
Depression
No difference now
Between her lifeless, shallow-breathing visage
And the stains on the walls
Left behind by negligence.
Tired eyes follow ticking time
As it slips right by her,
Through the crack in the window
And into the cacophony
Of urban joy beyond.
It was nearly summer break,
We met as she bumped into me.
She fell and I helped her up,
That was only the beginning.
We spent summer together,
Being with her, it just felt right.
A thought invaded my mind,
I couldn’t help but think “Kiss her.”
It caught me off guard a bit,
Girls shouldn’t kiss other girls, right?
Wouldn’t that be a bit strange?
Maybe I have just drank too much.
Next time we were together,
I was stone cold sober, And still,
I leant in as my lips met hers,
In that moment, everything stopped.
I didn’t feel weird, or wrong,
It didn’t feel strange, or awkward,
It was perfect. So was she.
I wish it lasted forever.
An active adolescent auld adored
before bipolar behavior began,
articulating anger all abhorred,
became Beelzebub’s best boogeyman.
Called clergy congregated, confident,
discerning deep down, devilish divide;
collectively cajoled - concomitant
deemed demonic delivery denied.
Extinguishing exorcism’s effect,
(for fiendish foe, ferocious, fiercely fought)
escaping existentially erect,
found friars’ faith faint-hearted, fairly fraught.
Gregarious, ghost gracious greeting graunts;
hereupon, his holy harassers haunts.
————-
graunt - an archaic spelling of grant
alliteration using the letters of the rhyme pattern: abab cdcd efef gh - a sonnet's rhyme pattern would end in 'gg', but went with a 'gh' couplet, well, because...
silly, struggled with this one - reminds me a little of the Sons of Sceva mentioned in Chapter 19 of Acts...
I am a fractured cat
thin as sleet, nails for a brain.
There's a place to find
to get out of this pain.
Dragging myself out of the rain
letting a drenched door swing open
rubbing every naked nerve
over a prayer-mat,
finding a corner to dry
unshed tears.
I'm a gaunt spook-eyed tiger
and tigers eat the hurt, devoid
of self-pity or stripes.
Being in the darkness,
The void of nothing,
Sitting alone,
In the black of night.
Where are my angels, my saviors?
Hearing voices in my head,
Maybe they're outside the box!
The box that keeps me prisoner.
I dream of the sun,
The sun of pure light,
Of the future that gives me hope.
All I see is darkness,
The blackness of my soul,
I feel the fear within me,
Of this void in my heart.
The voices grow louder,
Louder, louder,
I see the light sneaking,
Under the box.
The lights go brighter,
Brighter, brighter,
My eyes are burning.
I hear the voice of an angel,
" We found you, your safe now."
I fall into the arms of the angel,
As the darkness becomes light.
As I fumble thru the darkness,
Year after year wondering if I will,
Ever find my true love.
I see a piercing blinding light,
And in the distance I see,
The silhouette of a woman.
As I walk closer I can see your smile,
And I finally realize you are,
What I've been searching for.
A love so pure and so bright,
You will guide me out of the darkness,
And into your heart.
As a child, I learned that life is cruel
And justice is blind
My loving family filled with secrets and care
All I ever wanted
A love to call my own
A place to be unafraid of my surroundings
Why am I ever denied
Leaving scars on my heart
All I ever needed was a love that is real
To never feel alone and disregarded
All I ever wanted was my time on the moonlit path of romance
To feel loved and safe
But I was held to a standard around my elders
Hope that they would change their ideas
So my hope was twisted and rooted to fear
I hide myself, who I am,
All I ever wanted acceptance and love
So keep hidden my secret designs my plots a face worn
I watch on the outside as others delight in the pleasures and joys of love
Days turn to hours and hours to years
When they solve the mysteries once beheld by misguided eyes
And all truths are spoken confessions boldly told
Then can I finally come home
Fluttering Blue Banners
Pink & White long behind
Hidden under the tiles, an adder
Teeth sharp as rock we’ll surely find
Large smiles and new energy
So young blooms breathe fresh air
Into lungs defeated by entropy
Feeding grins once diminished by a glare
How music lulls us sweetly
In morning, in night, in rest
How the poisons kill deftly
And we ignore symptoms for the fest
Celebrate for new breath
Defeated by broken lungs
Turn away from threats of death
Her beauty never hears their tongues
They’ll surely kill us all
Or make the rest unending pain
But spring will be loved in place of fall
And if in Her stormy skies, we will reign
I am your son
Why don’t you see me?
I am your son
Know God said love reigns?
You can put me in a dress,
Wrap me up in femininity
But I am still your son
And if you think that you know
Better, I ask you honestly
To consider why you have such defense
Against truth, my intuition
And I know that you crave understanding
But I am just as thrown
That you would rather have a
Despondent Daughter
Than a change and happy Son
I'm coming out of the closet today
barking it out to the universe
to liberate my gem from the clay.
I'm a... HETEROSEXUAL male!
I find women to be a fabulous creation
I want to dance, converse, and sing with them
I'd like to make love to the souls of most of them.
I'm a proud HETEROSEXUAL male and not afraid to say it.
My banner is colorless and made of tempered glass.
It's quiet -never snaps at the wind.
If you try to smash it, it just may shred your hand.
I'm throwing a coming-out party for 90 percent of the world.
B.Y.O. beer, shield, and spear.
A racing snail got
Rid of his shell…didn’t help…
He still felt sluggish!
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