Richard Lamoureux | + Follow Poet |
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Eddie

Eddie/Dad

I try to see 
back before 
to who Eddie once was
just barely before when
the bending began
Eddie was after all
a cute child 
wide eyed
hugging kissing and kind

Somehow horrible happened
It tricked and trapped his mind
Loud shouting screaming sounds
parents preaching pain
through domestic degradation 
careless communication
fraught with frustration
Pass the potatoes please
then spilled milk smacking sensation
belt welts broken eggs no bacon
Get up go clean up
never ever interrupt 
battles brief and abrupt
ranting and raving
mom misbehaving
Eddie helpless and in need of saving
experiencing what no child should be braving
Learning man lessons 
before he started shaving

He can't  depend on dear dad
who pretends perfection
in his ship shape barber shop
where his jolly joking rarely stops
Important friends doctors and cops
humorous happy back slaps
Eddie feels hidden looks and subtle attacks

Shoe shine simple
comic book quick
When the shop closes
Tearful Eddie gets another licking
At two times five even Eddie starts kicking
his hurt turns into fists swinging
runaway day trip escaping
Then away he starts staying
getting into trouble time
not enough praying
rules that need breaking
Who he'll become
there's little mistaking 
what he wants he happily starts taking

He can't shake the mistakes
Travels life fast with worn brakes
Tears turn into lakes
He has and has caused 
many heart breaks
Sometimes past prisons
Are to hard to escape
I think of my daddy 
dear Eddie 
and my soul shakes
Sometimes  time ticks
Other times it just takes!

Copyright © Richard Lamoureux | Year Posted 2023

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Marikate Kingston Date: 4/18/2024 8:40:00 PM Below, Beryl says what I would have. I'm not the forgiving type though. I'm not ready yet. My childhood sounds somewhat like Eddie's. "Where's my beer?" "I don't see any dear" "Then get out of here" Your poem was poignant, heart felt and touching, powerful and for some, affirming. You certainly are a very fine writer Sir. Login to Reply Richard Lamoureux Date: 4/19/2024 5:42:00 AM My dad made our childhood a hell. Forgiving him enabled me to move on. It doesn’t excuse his behaviour. It does help me replace hate and anger with empathy. In the end that is more for my healing than his. Thanks again for your thoughtful response. P.S. forgiving someone doesn’t mean you have to spend time with them. It’s important to keep yourself and your spirit safe.

John Hamilton Date: 10/9/2023 11:02:00 AM Well written Richard it is a vicious circle isn't it. Too bad our fathers lived under abuse, they passed on what they learned none of which was good. it is cathartic to forgive as I know you have. Login to Reply Richard Lamoureux Date: 11/30/2023 5:42:00 PM Thanks John, sorry I’m reading this so late.

Beryl Edmonds Date: 9/13/2023 8:51:00 AM Richard, I didn’t know anything about my father’s childhood he never talked about his past, both his parents passed before I was born. I suspect his behaviour came from what he must has seen as a child. Like you I have come to terms with the verbal abuse to us kids, and the violence towards my angelic mother. Thank goodness we have become forgiving people, as God said, we should forgive seventy times seven, that’s four hundred and ninety steps towards heaven… Belle Login to Reply Richard Lamoureux Date: 9/16/2023 7:49:00 AM Thanks for your heartfelt response. Hugs Rick.

Michael Tor Date: 9/11/2023 3:40:00 PM Wow Richard. Your dad suffered much and so the dysfunction is passed on. Your words brought sympathy for you and your dad.Your courage to share is to be applauded. I had dysfunction in my life as well. Although I had loving parents my father in the early part of their marriage cheated on my mother. My mother made his life hell for ten years. I remember when my childhood was stolen by their behavior. My mother took the dishes as I was sitting playing with my toy cars and started smashing them... Login to Reply Michael Tor Date: 9/13/2023 4:39:00 PM Thank you Richard. Hugs back... Richard Lamoureux Date: 9/11/2023 4:21:00 PM Thanks so much for being so open. Sharing takes away some of the power it has over us. I’m sorry you had to go through that. Hugs Rick. Michael Tor Date: 9/11/2023 3:47:00 PM out of anger at my dad. It terrorized me, and I spent the next ten years watching two people I loved fighting and screaming at each other. A lot of graphic moments followed, some Richard I am embarrassed to share. One thing is for sure those that are traumitized in one way or another impacts their life forever. I did not have the physical abuse but I had the emotional of watching my parents argue and scream and fight. My mother after many years forgave my dad and they loved each other in the end. Your poetry gave me thecourage to share my friend...

Nancy Kaufman Date: 9/9/2023 3:03:00 PM Hi Richard, I want to congratulate you for the personal growth and empathy you have shown toward understanding your father's psyche. It's such a great write on the cycle of abuse as well as your compassion as his son. Many of us don't ever reach that level of understanding and forgiveness. Well done!! Login to Reply Richard Lamoureux Date: 9/10/2023 7:07:00 AM For me it was a necessary progression in my healing. Thanks for such a kind and empathetic response.

Gary Radice Date: 9/7/2023 11:40:00 AM Another superb, touching write. I'm just wondering if this should appear on the same page as "Between Your Words" (Pts I & II) ? I've done similar with a couple of my poems. My thoughts only. Great work. Cheers - Gary Login to Reply Richard Lamoureux Date: 9/7/2023 5:50:00 PM That does make sense. Thanks for reading.

Brandy Nicole Date: 9/6/2023 7:21:00 PM Dear Richard, those that have been through hell, seem to take others with them. It's sad, wrong and heartbreaking, all at the same time. When you've been through such misery, going the opposite direction, seems logical. Not the case, most times. Your thoughts touch my heart deeply. Thank you for being here, for being you. Hugs, Brandy Login to Reply Richard Lamoureux Date: 9/6/2023 8:23:00 PM Your kind words have made my evening. Hugs Rick.

Akkina Downing Date: 9/6/2023 7:16:00 PM My word, you have just written what so many went through their lives. Just hurt my heart imagining that kid going through a hardship life. Some people don’t deserve and aren’t fit to have kids. It don’t make sense to me… Great write, Richard. ~ Hugs Kina ~ Login to Reply Richard Lamoureux Date: 9/6/2023 8:24:00 PM Each person has a story. Though compassion there is a path beyond what was. Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts,

Suzanne Delaney Date: 9/6/2023 7:10:00 AM Dear Rick: You have captured the sheer senselessness of this terrible behavior. I know Parental Abuse is a major problem across all strata’s of wealth and poverty.(this kind of behavior is a poverty of the soul) wether from verbal or physical abuse it only reflects the powerlessness that the abuser feels, I feel for any child caught in this trap. Hugs, SuZ Login to Reply Richard Lamoureux Date: 9/6/2023 12:31:00 PM Thanks for your heartfelt response. I could not agree with you more. Hugs Rick.

Christina Bowring Date: 9/6/2023 6:43:00 AM Another sad, painful write Richard but so well expressed and written. The last stanza ,in particular, is so profound- especially the last three lines. Forgiveness can be so hard but equally it gives you inner strength and you have plenty of it. Be proud of yourself and the kind, thoughtful man you have become. Blessings to you. Login to Reply Richard Lamoureux Date: 9/6/2023 6:49:00 AM What a wonderful thing to say. You have made my heart smile.

Ilene Bauer Date: 9/6/2023 6:10:00 AM Hey Richard! I give you a lot of credit for probing deeper into your father’s past to try to understand how he got to be the way he was and to then try to forgive him. That’s a rare thing to do and you’ve described his life very powerfully. Congratulations on poem of the day for the poem leading up to this - well-deserved! Login to Reply Richard Lamoureux Date: 9/6/2023 6:51:00 AM Thanks so much Ilene. I appreciate you taking time to read both pieces. Your kind words are also appreciated.

Eileen Manassian Date: 9/5/2023 11:01:00 PM Oh Richard...Hurt people hurt people. This is such a sad sad write. It is even more heart wrentching because it's true. I'm glad you broke the cycle. I'm glad you are healed and well. Your writing is so profound...not just for the content, but for the choice of words. Bless your heart. Login to Reply Richard Lamoureux Date: 9/6/2023 5:36:00 AM Thanks Eileen. Until we can find compassion for those who have hurt us, it is difficult to move forward. It doesn’t make what they did ok, but it does help you understand and know the abuse is not your fault.thanks for your visit and compassionate response. Hugs Rick.

Bill Baker Date: 9/5/2023 8:52:00 PM Awesome poetry, Richard. It resonates with me throughout, especially run-away days. Mom always turned the back porchlight on when it was somewhat safe to return. Only once did it take three or four days before I could return. I feel your pain, my friend. Thanks for sharing this important message. A poet friend in Texas, Bill Login to Reply Richard Lamoureux Date: 9/5/2023 10:19:00 PM Much appreciated Bill. Thanks for giving it a read.

Tom Woody Date: 9/5/2023 4:56:00 PM How many Eddie's in the world? Only God can heal some of these poor souls. And he will ... Login to Reply Tom Woody Date: 9/5/2023 5:03:00 PM Fantastic wrriting Richard Lamoureux Date: 9/5/2023 4:58:00 PM That is my hope.