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On Poetry :: Translation - Beto Riginale's Blog

About Beto Riginale
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Ciao a tutti !
Welcome to my work and blog. Here are a few words about me.
        I was born and raised near Berkeley, California, and was introduced to the beatniks in North Beach by a high school friend in the late '50s. That is an event that influenced the rest of my life.
        I studied mathematics, philosophy, and German at university. By a quirk of fate, I became a computer scientist and website designer for most of my professional life. Since retirement, I have written poetry, essays, and translated German -> English and Spanish -> English. I write only free verse, haiku, and (some) prose poetry.

My favorite poets (in no particular order) :

Allen Ginsberg
Lawrence Ferlinghetti
Gertrude Stein
E. E. Cummings
William Carlos Williams
T. S. Eliot
Jack Kerouac
Alejandra Pizarnik
Charles Bukowski

Thank you for stopping by to read my work and blog.
~Beto


On Poetry :: Translation

Blog Posted:11/20/2019 3:39:00 PM

Many years ago, when I was translating professionally (mostly philosophy), I realized there are many ways to approach rendering text in a different language. From my perspective, there are three basic approaches: mechanical (computer), translation, and interpretive. 

The first is now most often done by running the text through a computer program. The results of such mechanical translations have improved significantly since I first used one in the late '60s. In many cases, an automatic rendering is good enough to get the author's (general) intent across. That is particularly true for factual text, such as technical writing.

The second approach, translation, is most often done by humans, sometimes with assistance from mechanical translation programs. This style of rendering (commonly referred to as "word for word" or "literal" translation) tends to be reasonably close to the original language text in terms of the words used. Sometimes when rendering poetry, there is a similarity of rhythm and rhyme. However, there is often a good correspondence between the author's intent and that expressed by the translator since a good translator will attempt to use words that express the translator's understanding of the author's intention. That is, there is some interpretive work done.

The third approach, interpretive, provides a result that is furthest from the version supplied by mechanical translation. In this style, the interpreter attempts to understand the author's intent and to give that understanding in an original form. Here the interpreter's intuition comes into play. Two writers working in this approach will often result in very different versions. On the other hand, if the interpreters have a good grasp of the original author's style and usage as well as a sense of poetry, a genuinely poetic and, in a certain sense, a unique piece will result.

My approach is, generally speaking, a mixture of translation and interpretation.

The following is a poem, Im Gewitter der Rosen ( English: In the Storm of Roses ) by Ingeborg Bachmann ( 1926 - 1973 ), written in 1953. Here I present the original for those conversant with German, followed by a machine translation, a human translation, and an interpretation. A comparison of the first two (English) versions shows the two are very similar. However, in my opinion, in the second, the selection of words is much better. For instance, "storm" for "thunderstorm," at least to my ear, taking into account that poetry is an aural art, is much better. The same is true for the substitution of "leaves" for "foliage." The third version is an interpretation and bears little resemblance to the machine translation.

In my opinion, it comes down to a matter of taste on the part of the reader.

*        *       *

German ( original text ):

Wohin wir uns wenden im Gewitter der Rosen,
ist die Nacht von Dornen erhellt, und der Donner
des Laubs, das so leise war in den Büschen,
folgt uns jetzt auf dem Fuß.

Machine translation ( Google Translate ):

Wherever we turn in the thunderstorm of the roses,
the night is lit by thorns, and the thunder
of the foliage that was so quiet in the bushes,
follow us now on the foot.

Translation: ( © Mark M. Anderson):

Wherever we turn in the storm of roses,
the night is lit up by thorns, and the thunder
of leaves, once so quiet within the bushes,
rumbling at our heels.

Interpretation: ( my own )

In the storm of roses,
no matter where we turn,
night illumined by thorns,
the thunder of leaves,
once a rustle in the bushes,
now hard at our heels.

beto



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Date: 11/23/2019 10:48:00 AM
Thanks Kim, I appreciate your comment. You may enjoy my other essay on hoe I translate, a description of my process. beto
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Date: 11/23/2019 10:23:00 AM
Love this! Thank you!
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Date: 11/22/2019 5:42:00 PM
Thank you all for your comments. I have posted an new blog entry "On Poetry :: How I Translate" in which I describe my translation process.
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Date: 11/22/2019 3:37:00 AM
I agree with you Beto,translations (poetry&otherwise)are inevitably interpretations. Perhaps the greatest examples of this ,is with the differing English translations of the most well known Japanese haiku.I was led to translate Appollinare's visual poem 'Il pleut' https://www.poetrysoup.com/poem/it_rains_a_dynamic_paraphrase_975112.In the end the translation of poetry becomes in effect, a phrasis,a new&unique collaboration between the poet and translator.Ingeborg's quatrain clearly presents difficulties in any English translation using that particular form so poetic licence aways will be to the fore.
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Beto Riginale
Date: 11/22/2019 11:42:00 AM
Hello Brian, thanks for your comments. I especially appreciate your remark about translating being a collaboration. In my case, since I mostly translate works by authors who have passed, I make up for that by learning as much as I can about the author by reading bios and the author/'s other works. beto
Date: 11/20/2019 10:13:00 PM
Pure genius. I love this. The words, in any format are beautiful and like a puzzle can be read in any number of ways. Now try reversing it: "Now hard at our heels, once a rustle in the bushes, the thunder of leaves, night illuminated by thorns, no matter where we turn, in the Storm of Roses". This is one of the best blogs I have had the pleasure of reading. Leanne
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Beto Riginale
Date: 11/20/2019 10:21:00 PM
Thanks Leanne ! I really like your insight about reading it backwards. :-) I have several other posts in the pipe (so to speak) so stay tuned. beto
Date: 11/20/2019 4:51:00 PM
An interesting blog, Beto. I think you've captured the essence of the poem well. I feel a menacing atmosphere as I read the poem so your last line fits in well (or perhaps 'is now hot on our heels'). I wonder whether 'a rustle' really goes with 'thunder' and might suggest ' once muffled / dulled by the bushes'. I agree that sites like google translate can be useful but lack the sensitive nuances human interpretation can bring. You have whet my appetite to read the rest of this poem!
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Beto Riginale
Date: 11/20/2019 6:12:00 PM
Thank you Wendy. I appreciate you comments. Regarding the leaves, that is what Bachmann wrote. I think she was thinking of something like the thunder of horses' hooves or that of panzer engines. Rustle was what I thought of, as dry leaves rustle. But I like your suggestion of muffled. need to think about this. may make a change. beto

My Past Blog Posts

 
PoetrySoup :: Typography III
Date Posted: 11/15/2020 11:36:00 AM
Women's Day
Date Posted: 3/9/2020 6:44:00 PM
An Alternative
Date Posted: 2/25/2020 2:10:00 PM
Darkness Revisited :: decomposed
Date Posted: 1/17/2020 2:51:00 PM
On Poetry :: Punctuation
Date Posted: 12/28/2019 4:29:00 PM
Have Some Fun
Date Posted: 12/16/2019 1:02:00 PM
PoetrySoup :: Using a Word Processor
Date Posted: 12/14/2019 1:21:00 PM
PoetrySoup :: Typography II
Date Posted: 12/12/2019 4:57:00 PM
bow hows decrypted
Date Posted: 12/10/2019 4:41:00 PM
PoetrySoup :: Typography I
Date Posted: 12/6/2019 6:11:00 PM
On Poetry :: How I Translate
Date Posted: 11/22/2019 5:08:00 PM
On Poetry :: Translation
Date Posted: 11/20/2019 3:39:00 PM

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7/16/2020 Summer Rain Haikumetaphor,rain,summer,
3/10/2020 For Jfk Free verselife,peace,society,
3/5/2020 Panic Free verseallegory,fear,social,
2/28/2020 Domingo Free verseage,life,
1/30/2020 All Art Is a Painting Free verseart,poetry,
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1/15/2020 Howard Street - 1948 Free verselife,social,
1/10/2020 Darkness Revisited - Revision Coupletdark,hope,life,
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12/31/2019 B Free versei am,philosophy,
12/27/2019 Now Free verseintrospection,philosophy,
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Book: Reflection on the Important Things