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Sometimes My Heart Feels Too Heavy

I feel the bubbling hate
rise from my chest to my face
When I remember the days 
I would sit there, embracing it
you beating my ass in your basement
and don’t blame it
on your ex, cuz you were always complaining
and claiming your behavior’s not crazy
No I can’t have your baby
Used to promise that you’d save me but you lied and betrayed me on the daily
Yeah you played me
Staged it like you writing for payment
Enslaved, isolated
But I couldn’t stop chasing
It’s insane how you faked it
In my lap, blubbering like a baby
like you up for arraignment
After kicking my face in
You will never be my family, the past is where you’ll remain in
Four years of my life i spent wasting
So many nights spent debating
Fornicating, i always did what you made me
You would beg for the truth then stand there, just shaming
My heart I felt it breaking,
my small throat in your hands suffocating 
My bruises have erased but the memories never fading
The scars you left never healing
So tell me, what was the reason?
You changed up like the seasons 
Had me believing, fighting with reason
felt the loneliest when I had you beside in bed sleeping
You would look me in the eye, lie that you weren’t high tweaking
Bodily harm, I was bleeding 
How many hours spent pleading?
I would tell you what I needed
You destroyed me for no reason
I know I saved my own life by saying fck it and leaving
Like a death, I was grieving
Had to accept you were cheating
Left and right, like a demon
You live your life with no meaning
Off the liquor stay geeking
You’re a freak and I mean it
Don’t hit my line when you leaning.

Copyright © Lady Of Sorrows | Year Posted 2023

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Book: Reflection on the Important Things